This must be the most anti-advertising post I’ve ever written about myself as an artist.

Though I’m holding onto a sliver of hope that this won’t ruin all the small achievements I’ve managed to make here.

For those who aren’t familiar with me yet, you can read my past journals or get a brief overview here.

The first thing I want to say is that I am incredibly grateful to everyone I’ve had the chance to interact with on Furaffinity. Absolutely everyone I’ve dealt with has been very kind and understanding; I’m glad to have been among you.
Some of you literally saved my life and, without any exaggeration, repeatedly prevented me, my wife, and our two cats from ending up on the street.

Second -- I want to apologize to everyone to whom I haven’t yet completed a commission. Please forgive me for this uncertainty. I’m truly very ashamed that it turned out this way. I didn’t abandon you -- I just fell into a difficult state that I couldn’t get out of for a long time. But now I’ve pulled myself together. I’ll get everything done. 100% of every commission will be completed. And the proof of this will be regular posts of finished drawings. I’ve come out of my depression. Out of my apathy. I’m no longer lying around staring at the wall -- I’m drawing, every day, almost all the time, except for the hours I spend helping my wife and taking care of household chores. Because I realized I have no choice: either I work my ass off with all my might, or everything I love and hold dear is fucked. I have no right to give up.

I don't want to go through this again, but I don't know what else I can do right now. We really need your help once more.
At the moment, our total rent debt is $1,064. And every 26th of the month, another $300 is added to that. At the time of writing this, we have exactly $0.
I know and understand that we’re not the only ones in need; everyone has their own struggles, there are situations far worse than ours, and frankly, the whole world is heading straight to hell. I’m not forcing anyone or playing on your pity -- I’m just being honest about the situation. And I deeply regret that I couldn’t pull myself together sooner to avoid this current situation.

Yes, I’m afraid of being misunderstood, which is why I’m writing about everything in such detail, but I’m also doing this so that whoever reads this will have a complete picture of why everything is such a mess.

If you have the means and the desire -- please help in any way you can. Even the smallest donation gives me the chance to stop worrying about survival, about where to scrape together a few pennies for food, and to spend that time working. I should clarify that I’m writing specifically about donations right now solely because of the very large number of uncompleted commissions. BUT! I’m not very comfortable accepting free help, and more than once in response to a donation, I’ve offered to draw something in return. So I’m still open to commissions, but with one not very pleasant condition: I’m unlikely to be able to complete them sooner than a few months from now. If you’re willing to wait and trust me -- I and everyone close to me will be eternally grateful to you.

I’m currently putting all my energy into catching up on the unfinished drawings, to show everyone -- and first and foremost myself -- that I’m capable of fighting my way through the thorns to the stars.

If you have any doubts about my words -- I’m ready to provide proof of anything I’m talking about, either in the comments on this journal or in private messages.

Thank you for reading this far. Thank you for being here. And thank you to those who have supported me and continue to do so.