I'm not happy. I haven't been for a while. And everytime something seems to be going well, everything goes to hell in a handbasket. It just falls all to pieces. Court cases, community service with a munted spine, restitution payments... I finally paid off my debts, only to be slapped with my housemate coming home early from work the other day and telling me, and I'm not joking, that he heard god's voice in his head telling him to leave the country and spread the good word. Followed with a casual 'I don't know what you're going to do with this place', because he knows I rely on him to actually live here proper.

So, shellshocked a bit, I went to a friend's place for a while. Had to come back the next day for a fridge delivery that was arbitrarily thrust on me, only to find a hole in the wall and housemate won't tell me how it got there.

Then the fridge came, put it in place, waited a half hour, my housemate left, and when the half hour was up I turned the fridge on. Woohoo right? Left to go back up to friend's place, a 45 minute drive btw.

Got a facebook message later from my housemate's friend saying he locked himself out. And since I didn't plan on going home for several days, meant he'd be locked out for several days. He'd left his phone at home. And hadn't taken his housekeys. Why? Turns out, after driving home again to let him in? He only then told me he'd lost his keys.

Lost. The keys. He had three house keys. Same as me.

It got worse. He'd been stuck outside for hours. But, instead of asking to borrow someone's phone to contact me, he tried to break into our unit with a paint scraper and a tire iron. Another 45 minute drive, another 5 dollar toll, and now I've spent way too much on fuel in two days that he won't pay for. Had a shit time at friend's place, nobody felt well tbh. Various chronic reasons, not the virus. Not their fault either, it just was a bad time. Came home, and he told me he was going to throw out my kettle and buy a new one. Why? There were ants in it. And he thought it was his kettle.

He doesn't own any kitchen appliances, and it matches the toaster. The toaster he forgot I had.

Now he's got no job, and I only found out because I saw the separation certificate on a table instead of him telling me straight up so I could plan around it. I had already spent the last of the money I had after paying the rent.

Why? Why does this shit keep happening to me? Am I just that fucking disgusting? Am I really that hated by whatever controls life? I can't... I cannot fucking...

No food for two weeks basically. I only had enough to buy food for the weekend after prepaying some bills we haven't gotten yet, because I thought that was the smart thing to do. So...

Fuck me, right? Just... fuck me. No fuel, no food, no anything. Can't even go to Saturday's dnd session due to no fuel. Which ruins it for everyone, because I'm the DM, which makes me feel even worse because it makes me feel like a shit dm. Just... someone shoot me. Please? I'm just so fucking done with all of this bullshit.