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Excerpt from chapter 1:
I found the boy.
He lay still and peaceful, skin having turned blue and begun to bloat. He was face down, floating buck naked in the River Read.
The child's parents had reported him missing this afternoon. He'd last been seen walking into town, West Woodburn, yesterday evening from their family's home in the countryside. The child was young, no more than ten. His name was Jonathan Hyatt.
It was fairly obvious what must have occurred. The River Read ran through the heart of West Woodburn, beside the road that he would have walked upon. With all his clothing missing, it was more than likely he had gone for a late evening swim and been somehow caught up in the gentle currents to find his death.
I turned and looked upstream. The thick covering of trees and riverside vegetation made this small tributary all but invisible from town. It seemed likely he had entered the river somewhere upstream, drowned, then his body had been carried here by the current.
I reached into my policeman's belt and gently withdrew a pair of specially formed latex gloves, careful not to nick or break them. This part always frightened me so. I had to be watchful that my thick nails didn't rip any holes in the material. My mind shied away at the very thought of what that might set into motion.
Gloves firmly in place and double checked, I reached out to the small body that bobbed in the water a fathom from me. I had to stretch out one hand while grasping the low hanging branch of a tree behind me to slowly pull him to shore.
There is always that singular moment when one finds a body lying face down. That short time when no matter how firm you believe your identification is you still wonder who you'll find when you gently turn them over.
I stared into the still eyes of young Jonathan's face. There was no mistaking him now, the decomposition had not yet progressed so far as to make him unrecognizable. I knew him well. He was one of the few in West Woodburn who would stop to speak to me.
Please download the PDF file for the rest of the story.
Thanks to everyone who read and commented. It's great to know you enjoyed the story.
I'm more than open to comments and critiques as I need to decide where to go from here. If you liked it or hated it, please let me know!
Or read it chapter by chapter.
I found the boy.
He lay still and peaceful, skin having turned blue and begun to bloat. He was face down, floating buck naked in the River Read.
The child's parents had reported him missing this afternoon. He'd last been seen walking into town, West Woodburn, yesterday evening from their family's home in the countryside. The child was young, no more than ten. His name was Jonathan Hyatt.
It was fairly obvious what must have occurred. The River Read ran through the heart of West Woodburn, beside the road that he would have walked upon. With all his clothing missing, it was more than likely he had gone for a late evening swim and been somehow caught up in the gentle currents to find his death.
I turned and looked upstream. The thick covering of trees and riverside vegetation made this small tributary all but invisible from town. It seemed likely he had entered the river somewhere upstream, drowned, then his body had been carried here by the current.
I reached into my policeman's belt and gently withdrew a pair of specially formed latex gloves, careful not to nick or break them. This part always frightened me so. I had to be watchful that my thick nails didn't rip any holes in the material. My mind shied away at the very thought of what that might set into motion.
Gloves firmly in place and double checked, I reached out to the small body that bobbed in the water a fathom from me. I had to stretch out one hand while grasping the low hanging branch of a tree behind me to slowly pull him to shore.
There is always that singular moment when one finds a body lying face down. That short time when no matter how firm you believe your identification is you still wonder who you'll find when you gently turn them over.
I stared into the still eyes of young Jonathan's face. There was no mistaking him now, the decomposition had not yet progressed so far as to make him unrecognizable. I knew him well. He was one of the few in West Woodburn who would stop to speak to me.
Please download the PDF file for the rest of the story.
Thanks to everyone who read and commented. It's great to know you enjoyed the story.
I'm more than open to comments and critiques as I need to decide where to go from here. If you liked it or hated it, please let me know!
Or read it chapter by chapter.
Category Story / All
Species German Shepherd
Size 116 x 120px
File Size 1007.5 kB
Listed in Folders
I'm happy to lend a hand.
All my writing is done in a free program called LibreOfffice ( http://www.libreoffice.org ) as I personally like it better than Microsoft Office. The text used in the main body of my work is in Times New Roman, and the chapter titles Ariel. Though they may look different as they are done in LibreOffice then sent to a PDF. Finally, the font used in the title page is 28 Days later ( http://www.dafont.com/28-days-later.font ).
You can add an icon to your story while you're uploading it to FA. Press Submit -> Story -> Next Step -> and you will see two upload boxes, Submission File and Thumbnail. Just select an image for the thumbnail and you're good to go.
Best of luck with your story, it can be hard getting started. Feel free to ask if you have any other questions. I'm working on putting together a how-to guide for LibreOffice.
All my writing is done in a free program called LibreOfffice ( http://www.libreoffice.org ) as I personally like it better than Microsoft Office. The text used in the main body of my work is in Times New Roman, and the chapter titles Ariel. Though they may look different as they are done in LibreOffice then sent to a PDF. Finally, the font used in the title page is 28 Days later ( http://www.dafont.com/28-days-later.font ).
You can add an icon to your story while you're uploading it to FA. Press Submit -> Story -> Next Step -> and you will see two upload boxes, Submission File and Thumbnail. Just select an image for the thumbnail and you're good to go.
Best of luck with your story, it can be hard getting started. Feel free to ask if you have any other questions. I'm working on putting together a how-to guide for LibreOffice.
Really enjoyed this story. It echo's one of my greatest hopes.. and one of my greatest fears.
The hope that we can create an intelligence not of our own that we can be proud to stand alongside
The fear that if we do we will not have the mental/racial maturity to accept that it's feelings and desires are just as valid as our own.
Many thanks for sharing
Marc
The hope that we can create an intelligence not of our own that we can be proud to stand alongside
The fear that if we do we will not have the mental/racial maturity to accept that it's feelings and desires are just as valid as our own.
Many thanks for sharing
Marc
Thanks!
Yep. Of all the stories I've written, this is the only one I felt had a real message. It's one of those things we all hope to see humankind achieve, but at the same time fear it.
Much of my inspiration came from the old Frankenstein mythos. Only it seemed so odd to have the creature turn upon its creator. What of a creation that instead of turning to violence strove to achieve more than its creators could ever dream of?
And if you're interested, Jonathan from this story was heavily inspired by 'Jon' from my series The Hunters.
Yep. Of all the stories I've written, this is the only one I felt had a real message. It's one of those things we all hope to see humankind achieve, but at the same time fear it.
Much of my inspiration came from the old Frankenstein mythos. Only it seemed so odd to have the creature turn upon its creator. What of a creation that instead of turning to violence strove to achieve more than its creators could ever dream of?
And if you're interested, Jonathan from this story was heavily inspired by 'Jon' from my series The Hunters.
I think the old idea of the creation turning on the creator was to try and warn that only God could create life and that by treading in his domain was dangerous (mainly because God would smite you down).
But you covered that in your story with the mad priest. :)
Marc
But you covered that in your story with the mad priest. :)
Marc
So I randomly decided to read this story after seeing it pop up in the submissions feed from time to time. I have to say I quite liked it. I can be kind of picky when it comes to stories about genetic engineering since a lot of them tend to be the usual 'animal person thing is created, escapes from lab' thing, and that can get a bit old sometimes. So I like how your story did none of that and instead provided a rather interesting alternate history of the world that sets up how the Dogs came to be. And from there the portrayal of how the Dogs are bred (and the undesirables culled) was well done too. Pretty chilling to think about such a thing potentially coming to pass one day.
Then when it comes to the characters I feel they were well done too for the most part. It was interesting to see Fourty-Two/Johnathan's experiences and how his understanding of both himself and the world around him grows over time. The human folk were done well too. The only thing I felt kind of odd about was Richard's sudden swings in how he feels about Fourty-Two, though at the same time I do understand that the recent loss of a son would leave a guy feeling rather unstable, to say the least.
Either way, you did a good job creating an interesting world with interesting characters in it. Keep up the good work there!
Then when it comes to the characters I feel they were well done too for the most part. It was interesting to see Fourty-Two/Johnathan's experiences and how his understanding of both himself and the world around him grows over time. The human folk were done well too. The only thing I felt kind of odd about was Richard's sudden swings in how he feels about Fourty-Two, though at the same time I do understand that the recent loss of a son would leave a guy feeling rather unstable, to say the least.
Either way, you did a good job creating an interesting world with interesting characters in it. Keep up the good work there!
Hi FenrirWolf,
Thanks for the long and detailed comment -- I don't get them often and it's awesome to know that you thought!
I like to think of Police Dog as what I call an anti-monster story. Your comments about 'creature created, escapes from lab' are exactly what was going through my mind when I wrote. With Forty-Two they did create a monster, a creature that is stronger and smarter than they ever anticipated. You could say things went horribly right. But rather than go on a path of destruction he does what I think any real creature would in his situation.
Thanks for all your kinds words, and I do agree with you about Richard's mood swings -- I tried to level them out in the later drafts but he does tend to remain rather emotional.
You may be interested to know that Forty-Two was inspired from a character from my main series The Hunters. Oh, and I also just started posting Police Dog 2!
Thanks for the long and detailed comment -- I don't get them often and it's awesome to know that you thought!
I like to think of Police Dog as what I call an anti-monster story. Your comments about 'creature created, escapes from lab' are exactly what was going through my mind when I wrote. With Forty-Two they did create a monster, a creature that is stronger and smarter than they ever anticipated. You could say things went horribly right. But rather than go on a path of destruction he does what I think any real creature would in his situation.
Thanks for all your kinds words, and I do agree with you about Richard's mood swings -- I tried to level them out in the later drafts but he does tend to remain rather emotional.
You may be interested to know that Forty-Two was inspired from a character from my main series The Hunters. Oh, and I also just started posting Police Dog 2!
I have no words... Everything in this was FLAWLESS. The characters, the plot, the emotion... You nearly stole a tear from me on several occasions.
Generally, I like to have the most eloquent comments, but I feel I would be doing you and I a disservice if I didn't just say...
DAAAAAAANG MAAAAAN!!!! THAT WAS INCREDIBLE!!!!!!
HAHAAAA!!!
Now that that's out of the way...
You were right, that ending was much more satisfying. I absolutely LOVED it.
I read the authors note at the end, in a way, ravenously licking my plate...
I had no idea that West Woodburn was a real place! Mid-sentence, I pulled up Google Earth, typed in West Woodburn, and there it was!
I must give you credit for your descriptions. It was almost exactly as I had pictured it, save for the frequency of trees.
It's too bad that the RJS scifi press dissolved before they could read this. Who knows, it might have saved the company! No joke here.
Whether or not you ever DO have this published, it's a best seller in MY book. (Pun intended)
...HAHAHA!
I hope it DOES get published one day. Such art merits no less.
Thank you for the wonderful story.
Generally, I like to have the most eloquent comments, but I feel I would be doing you and I a disservice if I didn't just say...
DAAAAAAANG MAAAAAN!!!! THAT WAS INCREDIBLE!!!!!!
HAHAAAA!!!
Now that that's out of the way...
You were right, that ending was much more satisfying. I absolutely LOVED it.
I read the authors note at the end, in a way, ravenously licking my plate...
I had no idea that West Woodburn was a real place! Mid-sentence, I pulled up Google Earth, typed in West Woodburn, and there it was!
I must give you credit for your descriptions. It was almost exactly as I had pictured it, save for the frequency of trees.
It's too bad that the RJS scifi press dissolved before they could read this. Who knows, it might have saved the company! No joke here.
Whether or not you ever DO have this published, it's a best seller in MY book. (Pun intended)
...HAHAHA!
I hope it DOES get published one day. Such art merits no less.
Thank you for the wonderful story.
Thanks. I really proud of this story.
This is the only book where I came up with the ending first, and it shows. The core idea just hit me and... well, I think it turned out rather well.
Heheh. You've got to love Google Maps. I wrote this story just shortly after it came out. It an amazing tool for helping to create a world.
Yeah, to say I was pissed that RJS press went under while I was writing this would be an understatement. I even contacted the man himself to figure out what was going on, but it was one of the early casualties of the economic downturn.
I truly wanted to get this book published. I even delayed posting it to FA as I sent it out to the different furry publishers. Either luck wasn't with me or they had some impressively high standards for what they will and won't accept.
Thanks again for your kind words, much appreciated. I hope you enjoy the rest of my works... not to mention PD2...
This is the only book where I came up with the ending first, and it shows. The core idea just hit me and... well, I think it turned out rather well.
Heheh. You've got to love Google Maps. I wrote this story just shortly after it came out. It an amazing tool for helping to create a world.
Yeah, to say I was pissed that RJS press went under while I was writing this would be an understatement. I even contacted the man himself to figure out what was going on, but it was one of the early casualties of the economic downturn.
I truly wanted to get this book published. I even delayed posting it to FA as I sent it out to the different furry publishers. Either luck wasn't with me or they had some impressively high standards for what they will and won't accept.
Thanks again for your kind words, much appreciated. I hope you enjoy the rest of my works... not to mention PD2...
Thanks for the compliment.
There were several sources that contributed to the creation of this story. I briefly touched on a few of them in the Author's Note at the very end. The major ones were:
The original idea:
Forests of the Night by S. Andrew Swann. This novel got me thinking many years ago about human/non-human interactions and how non-human species would comes to be.
The kickoff for this particular book:
A conversation with a co-worker about real-life police dogs and the effects of highly directed breeding programs.
The character of Forty-Two:
Johnathon is very closely modeled after Jon Oaks for my other series 'The Hunters' to the point this could almost be looked of as a spin-off of sorts.
More general inspiration:
Take a look at 'wwwolf's Top Ten Furry Novels' http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9503482/
and
wwwolf's Five More Great Furry Novels http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9503482/
If you enjoyed this, don't forget to read Police Dog 2: Her Majesty's Finest
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13762770
Or even take a look at my most recent work, Fire Branded Leather which is available as an ebook from Jaffa Press.
There were several sources that contributed to the creation of this story. I briefly touched on a few of them in the Author's Note at the very end. The major ones were:
The original idea:
Forests of the Night by S. Andrew Swann. This novel got me thinking many years ago about human/non-human interactions and how non-human species would comes to be.
The kickoff for this particular book:
A conversation with a co-worker about real-life police dogs and the effects of highly directed breeding programs.
The character of Forty-Two:
Johnathon is very closely modeled after Jon Oaks for my other series 'The Hunters' to the point this could almost be looked of as a spin-off of sorts.
More general inspiration:
Take a look at 'wwwolf's Top Ten Furry Novels' http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9503482/
and
wwwolf's Five More Great Furry Novels http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9503482/
If you enjoyed this, don't forget to read Police Dog 2: Her Majesty's Finest
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13762770
Or even take a look at my most recent work, Fire Branded Leather which is available as an ebook from Jaffa Press.
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