Hehehe, I remember this pic. I dont remember if I saw it on here or on VCL. I do find it interesting that you depict yourself as something other then a Giraffe in the pic.

You like books?

Well then you, sir, are a COMMUNIST.

I can scarcely imagine you as a mall cop. I can also scarcely imagine anyone causing trouble, at least once they saw you about.

Hangings are so old school. I prefer to use power drills to their heads. ^ ^

but its SO less messy and who wants to clean up a mess some butt nugget left with their brain fluids all over the nice clean tile floor..mm?
Hangings are better in that they're neater and you get to hear the assinine wretches last throat gurgles as they claw and dangle and realize that their worthless, pathetic, selfish, stuck up, meaningless life of being a retarded rich yuppy is finally over (much to the delight of the harder working underclasses that sweated and broke themselves so THEY could have a lot of cash to be even huger jerks with!)

.... I think I love you sashi... O.o

the whole point of hanging people (the correct way, if you do care) is to break the neck and kill quickly. though it didn't always work back when it was used as a death sentence, and often the guy would either 1) choke to death, 2) get decapitated, or 3) the cord would break.

Keyword: "was"

Your real job should be executioner, if this is how ya deal with riff-raff :P

HANG 'EM HIGH!

Your job turned you into a rat! That can't be healthy...

He has become RAT MAN! (cue 60s Batman theme)

Serious question:

Apparently, the boss is upset with something. But, as of yet, I can't figure out what it is. I mean, tie is straight, slacks appear pressed... Did you leave your radio off or something?

Unscheduled coffee break?

What?

Ah, adding a little chlorine to the gene pool. Let me go get my pinata stick...

I was in security too except I wanted to hang (among other things) co-workers and supervisors

Yay I love this pic! Thanks for uploading it here.

Heartfelt! Clever way of asking for some vacation time, too. I'll be looking forward to a day in the life of a furry bookseller...

I'm a Security Guard NOW. so I know well what it's like....

*grin* I hate to see how you treated the crooks.

Karno - Lord of the Mall-Rats!

There's been so many times I've wanted to do this to some of the assholes I see while shopping. Luckily with my job I almost never have to interact with customers.

Good news for me is where I work in a mall is in lawn and garden for Sears. Most people don't give us too many problems thanks to us having a lot of sharp, shiny, heavy stuff very close at hand.

and you could bury them easily behind the building among the flowers, and plant the seeds to a tombstone firmly on their head. or the crotch, if applicable.

and if there is no sharp object available you could test if those unbreakable plastic plant pots are really so sturdy as claimed.

I keep trying to get the management to let me do the legs of a kid's mannequin sticking up out of the feed hopper of the chipper/shredder display.

...along with a sign reading, "You REALLY should read the manual!"?
"Don't feed the shredder!" might work, too.

So now we know who the legendary Mall Ninja is!

Admit it, people, we ALL know someone we want to do this to. Ironically, my intended target was the cop's kid next door. He was total hellspawn.

Oh if I had a dime for every time I wanted to do that... even not at work...
I'm sure you have stories to tell about THAT job!