
The first part of the new story I am going to try to write, all feed back is appreciated.
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The ship hung there in space and if it was not for the glow of engines and the lights dotted about, you would have thought it was a derelict. It was an old thunderbolt class destroyer that had been modified. The weapons had been nearly all removed to make way for more cargo space. Also docking collars had been added all over the ship to allow cargo pods and smaller transport ships to be attached.
On the darkened bridge sat the ship’s captain. She sat in her chair deep in thought as she sipped at her tea and thought about the events that had brought her here. A visitor to the bridge would have not thought anything of this until they took a good look at the captain and noticed the long snout, pointy ears and green fur; you see the captain of this ship was a “furry”.
Before I continue, maybe I should give a little background; furries were genetically modified life forms who were created by humans to do the dangerous and dirty jobs that were deemed too risky for humans (e.g. mining on other planets, terraforming, spaceship construction, etc., etc.). Some were animals who were infused with human DNA others were humans given animal DNA. This carried on for hundreds of years until the furries rebelled. At that time Furries were all over the solar system and on some planets they outnumbered the humans. Thus began what came to be remembered as “The Furry War”. It was a war fought on all fronts, from low intensity guerrilla wars on some moons and planets, to massive space battles between the human Navy and ships which the furries had managed to capture (there were also human sympathizers who help arm the furries). Eventually a peace was reached. Though the death toll from the war would never be able to be calculated, some do say though that it was in the hundreds of millions. Eventually the furries were given Mars as a planet they could call their own and eventually trade was established between Mars and Earth and the peace has been maintained ever since.
The captain’s name was Hollie, she did not really have a surname as she could not remember her real one. But since she was a hyena, everyone called her Hollie Hyena. She sat in her chair as she sipped at her tea and thought about her ship and crew. She liked to do this at night. Well, there was no night and day in deep space but you had to have a routine. From where she sat she could see her pilot Sumr Sloth. Sumr and Hollie had been friends for many years and were virtually inseparable. For some reason Hollie never understood, Sumr practically lived at her pilot’s station. She slept there, ate there, did nearly everything there even thought she had her own room, as did the rest of the crew.
Hollie stood up and decided to take a walk around her ship. The ship itself was called The Trebonius. However, everyone knew it as “The Cookie Monster,” because of its captains great love for baking (and of course eating) cookies. The ship was divided into three sections. At the front was the bridge, living quarters, mess deck and infirmary. In the middle was the hangar/cargo area. This used to be the destroyers weapons section and hangar area for fighters. The missile and torpedo launchers had all been stripped out when the ship was retired, but the ship was still armed with laser turrets and a few small rail guns for self-defense. There was also a small hangar bay containing a transport shuttle, a cargo shuttle, a couple of small one man cargo tugs for maneuvering cargo pods and Sumr’s prized fighter. When Hollie brought the ship she had the space that had contained the launchers, their associated systems and ammunition space converted into a cargo area. Aft of the cargo area was the drive section. There was a small surprise for anyone who didn’t know the capabilities of this ship, the
engines that were installed were actually from a much bigger ship and gave The Cookie Monster a much higher top speed and jump distance than she was originally designed for. Hollie had never had the ship to maximum yet because when they approached max speed the ship threatened to shake itself apart (that didn’t stop Sumr from trying though).
Hollie walked down to the living area where she could see the quarters for her crew. Her science officer was Xander Morhaime, a quiet but very intelligent and logical fennix fox. Hollie didn’t really need a science officer on a transport ship, but he had managed to help Hollie out more than a few times so she kept him on.
Her Weapons expert was Fermented Skunk. No one really knew his real name but everyone called him Fermented because of his love of Ale. He was also a bit of a gun nut and Hollie had to keep him under control to stop him shooting everything that moved.
Communications was handled by Shane La Fleur, a Setter/Husky mix who could repair any communications equipment around. Unfortunately, he had to be stopped from turning the Ship into his own personal radio station several times.
The doctor on board was Koichi Hattori, a Chocolate colored Fox. He could cure just about anything and was also a qualified surgeon. He was assisted by Jeff, a Wolf who was the ships EMT.
Navigation was covered by a winged Fox/Leopard called Arisu. It is said she could be put on a moon or asteroid anywhere in the Solar System and could tell you where you needed to go in a matter of minutes.
The ships stores and money were controlled by Kittybird, a black and white gryphon who had a fixation with anything shiny. Somehow she always managed to find whatever parts or supplies Hollie needed no matter where in the Solar System they were. Her room was so filled with shiny things that goggles hung outside with a note saying “Anyone entering must wear these”. Hollie remembered once going to Kittybird to get some money to buy supplies for the ship, only for Kittybird to wrap her arms around the coins shouting “NO!!! MY SHINIES, MINE!!!”. Eventually Hollie managed to get the cash away from her, but it was a struggle.
The Cargo onboard was handled by a mastiff called Selas and a macro foxtaur called Ty Vulpine. Now Macro Taurs were special even amongst Furries. They were HUGE, sometimes measuring as much as 15 feet tall. And had a body consisting of what could only be described as the body of a horse with the torso of a fox where the horses head would be all covered in fox fur.
Cooking onboard was taken care of by Cart (short for Cartoonman, because in his spare time he was always drawing cartoons). He could make just about anything into a meal and was always trying out new and “interesting” combinations. Now whether they actually tasted good was a different matter.
Security onboard was taken care of by Beagle, Red and Rufus, Beagle was, as you can guess, a beagle, who was very hyperactive and had a serious caffeine addiction (it is said his coffee could not only keep people awake for a week, but was strong enough to burn a hole through anything). He also had a nose
that could sniff out contraband no matter how well it was hidden. Red was a red Fox who loved to go fishing. And with his small size could crawl over cargo looking for hidden compartments or packages. Rufus was also a Fox and as such helped Red to hunt for things hidden where they shouldn’t be.
Hollie walked on through the Cargo Bay, which at the moment was empty she was waiting here for her next load, though why she was waiting here and not picking it up at one of the local Space Stations worried her.
She then came to the engine bay, from inside came the sounds of banging and shouting, as she opened the door all she could hear was “WORK... *CLANG* ...YOU ... *CLANG* ...STUPID ...*CLANG* ...PIECE... *CLANG* ...OF...”, then the hum of a machine starting up. There in the middle of the maze of pipes, wires and boxes stood her engineer, it was a wolf called Madcat. As ever, he had a mallet in his hand and for some reason always got things to work by hitting them with it. Hollie didn’t mind as he managed to keep the ship running, in fact the engines ran better than when they were first made.
Hollie walked back to the bridge and thought about what they were here to pick up. She didn’t know exactly what they were picking up or where they were taking it. But they were paying a LOT of credits and were only worried about it getting there fast and without the Police or Navy knowing about it. That usually meant something illegal or dangerous. Hollie knew all the pirate lanes and smuggler routes so she had no worries about avoiding the authorities. She was more worried about pirates. Also the question at the forefront of her mind was what WERE they going to transport that was so mysterious and required such cloak and dagger tactics ... she would just have to wait to find out.
<<< PREV | FIRST | NEXT >>>
The ship hung there in space and if it was not for the glow of engines and the lights dotted about, you would have thought it was a derelict. It was an old thunderbolt class destroyer that had been modified. The weapons had been nearly all removed to make way for more cargo space. Also docking collars had been added all over the ship to allow cargo pods and smaller transport ships to be attached.
On the darkened bridge sat the ship’s captain. She sat in her chair deep in thought as she sipped at her tea and thought about the events that had brought her here. A visitor to the bridge would have not thought anything of this until they took a good look at the captain and noticed the long snout, pointy ears and green fur; you see the captain of this ship was a “furry”.
Before I continue, maybe I should give a little background; furries were genetically modified life forms who were created by humans to do the dangerous and dirty jobs that were deemed too risky for humans (e.g. mining on other planets, terraforming, spaceship construction, etc., etc.). Some were animals who were infused with human DNA others were humans given animal DNA. This carried on for hundreds of years until the furries rebelled. At that time Furries were all over the solar system and on some planets they outnumbered the humans. Thus began what came to be remembered as “The Furry War”. It was a war fought on all fronts, from low intensity guerrilla wars on some moons and planets, to massive space battles between the human Navy and ships which the furries had managed to capture (there were also human sympathizers who help arm the furries). Eventually a peace was reached. Though the death toll from the war would never be able to be calculated, some do say though that it was in the hundreds of millions. Eventually the furries were given Mars as a planet they could call their own and eventually trade was established between Mars and Earth and the peace has been maintained ever since.
The captain’s name was Hollie, she did not really have a surname as she could not remember her real one. But since she was a hyena, everyone called her Hollie Hyena. She sat in her chair as she sipped at her tea and thought about her ship and crew. She liked to do this at night. Well, there was no night and day in deep space but you had to have a routine. From where she sat she could see her pilot Sumr Sloth. Sumr and Hollie had been friends for many years and were virtually inseparable. For some reason Hollie never understood, Sumr practically lived at her pilot’s station. She slept there, ate there, did nearly everything there even thought she had her own room, as did the rest of the crew.
Hollie stood up and decided to take a walk around her ship. The ship itself was called The Trebonius. However, everyone knew it as “The Cookie Monster,” because of its captains great love for baking (and of course eating) cookies. The ship was divided into three sections. At the front was the bridge, living quarters, mess deck and infirmary. In the middle was the hangar/cargo area. This used to be the destroyers weapons section and hangar area for fighters. The missile and torpedo launchers had all been stripped out when the ship was retired, but the ship was still armed with laser turrets and a few small rail guns for self-defense. There was also a small hangar bay containing a transport shuttle, a cargo shuttle, a couple of small one man cargo tugs for maneuvering cargo pods and Sumr’s prized fighter. When Hollie brought the ship she had the space that had contained the launchers, their associated systems and ammunition space converted into a cargo area. Aft of the cargo area was the drive section. There was a small surprise for anyone who didn’t know the capabilities of this ship, the
engines that were installed were actually from a much bigger ship and gave The Cookie Monster a much higher top speed and jump distance than she was originally designed for. Hollie had never had the ship to maximum yet because when they approached max speed the ship threatened to shake itself apart (that didn’t stop Sumr from trying though).
Hollie walked down to the living area where she could see the quarters for her crew. Her science officer was Xander Morhaime, a quiet but very intelligent and logical fennix fox. Hollie didn’t really need a science officer on a transport ship, but he had managed to help Hollie out more than a few times so she kept him on.
Her Weapons expert was Fermented Skunk. No one really knew his real name but everyone called him Fermented because of his love of Ale. He was also a bit of a gun nut and Hollie had to keep him under control to stop him shooting everything that moved.
Communications was handled by Shane La Fleur, a Setter/Husky mix who could repair any communications equipment around. Unfortunately, he had to be stopped from turning the Ship into his own personal radio station several times.
The doctor on board was Koichi Hattori, a Chocolate colored Fox. He could cure just about anything and was also a qualified surgeon. He was assisted by Jeff, a Wolf who was the ships EMT.
Navigation was covered by a winged Fox/Leopard called Arisu. It is said she could be put on a moon or asteroid anywhere in the Solar System and could tell you where you needed to go in a matter of minutes.
The ships stores and money were controlled by Kittybird, a black and white gryphon who had a fixation with anything shiny. Somehow she always managed to find whatever parts or supplies Hollie needed no matter where in the Solar System they were. Her room was so filled with shiny things that goggles hung outside with a note saying “Anyone entering must wear these”. Hollie remembered once going to Kittybird to get some money to buy supplies for the ship, only for Kittybird to wrap her arms around the coins shouting “NO!!! MY SHINIES, MINE!!!”. Eventually Hollie managed to get the cash away from her, but it was a struggle.
The Cargo onboard was handled by a mastiff called Selas and a macro foxtaur called Ty Vulpine. Now Macro Taurs were special even amongst Furries. They were HUGE, sometimes measuring as much as 15 feet tall. And had a body consisting of what could only be described as the body of a horse with the torso of a fox where the horses head would be all covered in fox fur.
Cooking onboard was taken care of by Cart (short for Cartoonman, because in his spare time he was always drawing cartoons). He could make just about anything into a meal and was always trying out new and “interesting” combinations. Now whether they actually tasted good was a different matter.
Security onboard was taken care of by Beagle, Red and Rufus, Beagle was, as you can guess, a beagle, who was very hyperactive and had a serious caffeine addiction (it is said his coffee could not only keep people awake for a week, but was strong enough to burn a hole through anything). He also had a nose
that could sniff out contraband no matter how well it was hidden. Red was a red Fox who loved to go fishing. And with his small size could crawl over cargo looking for hidden compartments or packages. Rufus was also a Fox and as such helped Red to hunt for things hidden where they shouldn’t be.
Hollie walked on through the Cargo Bay, which at the moment was empty she was waiting here for her next load, though why she was waiting here and not picking it up at one of the local Space Stations worried her.
She then came to the engine bay, from inside came the sounds of banging and shouting, as she opened the door all she could hear was “WORK... *CLANG* ...YOU ... *CLANG* ...STUPID ...*CLANG* ...PIECE... *CLANG* ...OF...”, then the hum of a machine starting up. There in the middle of the maze of pipes, wires and boxes stood her engineer, it was a wolf called Madcat. As ever, he had a mallet in his hand and for some reason always got things to work by hitting them with it. Hollie didn’t mind as he managed to keep the ship running, in fact the engines ran better than when they were first made.
Hollie walked back to the bridge and thought about what they were here to pick up. She didn’t know exactly what they were picking up or where they were taking it. But they were paying a LOT of credits and were only worried about it getting there fast and without the Police or Navy knowing about it. That usually meant something illegal or dangerous. Hollie knew all the pirate lanes and smuggler routes so she had no worries about avoiding the authorities. She was more worried about pirates. Also the question at the forefront of her mind was what WERE they going to transport that was so mysterious and required such cloak and dagger tactics ... she would just have to wait to find out.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 52.6 kB
Listed in Folders
While that was entertaining, there was very little story.
What story there was consisted of Hollie sipping some tea and walking around the ship.
Not exactly the most interesting stuff.
I would recommend doing one of two things:
You could completely cut out the little bits of story and have nothing but lore.
That way the amount and type of information would be consistent.
There are clever ways of doing lore-only text that make it just as entertaining as story,
most of which involve playing around with the mood, diction, and imagery.
Another way you could spice it up is to deliver such lore only when relevant to your story,
and then fill the rest with entertaining and meaningful plot.
Wishing you lots of words ^_^
I do information explosion, too, on occasion. It's just so convenient >_<
What story there was consisted of Hollie sipping some tea and walking around the ship.
Not exactly the most interesting stuff.
I would recommend doing one of two things:
You could completely cut out the little bits of story and have nothing but lore.
That way the amount and type of information would be consistent.
There are clever ways of doing lore-only text that make it just as entertaining as story,
most of which involve playing around with the mood, diction, and imagery.
Another way you could spice it up is to deliver such lore only when relevant to your story,
and then fill the rest with entertaining and meaningful plot.
Wishing you lots of words ^_^
I do information explosion, too, on occasion. It's just so convenient >_<
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