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THE WIT AND WISDOM OF CAPTAIN LIO - Pg 2/3 (Standard text)
THE WIT AND WISDOM OF CAPTAIN LIO -- Pg 2/3 --Standard text
PAGE 2 OF 3
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© 2011 Fred Brown
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❱❱❱❱ NOTA BENE: This copy is in a clearer, better-readable font, and can only be read on DARK screens.
The Enhanced text copy that's readable on cyan screens is here:
THE WIT AND WISDOM OF CAPTAIN LIO (Enhanced text)
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| Page Links: ·1· ·2· ·3·
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THE WIT AND WISDOM OF CAPTAIN LIO:
You can't get blood out of a turnip? You know, I do believe you're right. I've
got a sword, so I'll just take the turnip, thank you.
Screw being prepared for anything. Be prepared for what's going to hit you
next. Or there ain't gonna be an after.
We're just troops, okay? We are not prostitutes!!
A woman who can't fight can always make babies. Then she can sit back and
watch her babies get killed by people who can fight. Good to be able to fight too.
Do I have to give all the orders around here?
After we don't all die, then you can argue with me!!
I like an enemy who wants to kill us. The look of disappointment on their
faces when we off them: Priceless.
Try not to have sex on the battlefield. You've got enough people trying to
poke stiff things into you; one more just gets in the way of your sword stroke.
Never underestimate an enemy. Point your own sword at your throat, will
you?
It never hurts to overestimate your enemy. Although if you do it right it can
really hurt your enemy. Attack with more force than you need? Yeah, I can
approve of that.
Try and make the enemy underestimate you. The look of surprise on their
faces when you prove them wrong: Even more priceless.
If you really think you can rape a wolf, do you mind telling me your next of
kin? I'm sure they'd like to collect the pieces for an orderly funeral service.
If I fall in love with you, I'll have to kill anything that tries to kill you. I hope
you don't have too many enemies or we're not going to get in much sex.
You wanna curse the gods? Feel free. Just don't be too pissed when they
curse you back.
Cold steel in your paw lowers the chances of finding cold steel in your gut.
Any questions?
All right! Who's the dumbhead who started this party without inviting me?
Look, if you see things my way, the rest of your life will be richly filled with
many other fun and interesting things to see and do. But you do have a choice
here.
Naked force does not, has never, and never will change anybody's mind. It
can make them intensely interested in not fighting you anymore. That's good
enough for me.
What we love, we fight for, and fight to protect. We cannot forget that love.
Nor love fighting more. Tough balance.
Armies do not march on their stomachs. But just try marching on an empty
one.
In my love for you, I would give you the stars. Not being mine to give, let
me give you my kiss instead. Tell me how many stars you see when we're done.
What, stop fighting just because they're beating us? Do I look like I need to
hear a joke right now?
I don't think we're in a good position here.
If we needed more armour we'd wear more armour. Although if we wore
less, I suppose anybody fighting us would have to do so with a hard-on. Or more
of one. We should try that sometime.
Come on, you cows!! Why don't we lose this one for a change?!
Staring at my tits like that does make it a lot easier for me to kill you. You
do know that, right?
The minute we take joy in killing, we're lost. After the battle, you want to
look down at the enemy and say, 'These could have been good friends.' Then
mourn them. I find that somewhat helpful. Not a lot, since they were trying to kill
us, but somewhat.
I'll worship a god or gods that doesn't keep throwing crap at us. You'll notice
I'm kinda still looking.
Why fight and kill? Depends how long you want to live. The people trying to
kill you are usually very solid on how long they want you to live.
One skilled paw with a sword can usually beat four unskilled paws with
swords. More than that, and you want to pay great attention to your two skilled
footpaws.
He's a horse fur! Of course I want to have sex with him. Duh!
If my love for you meant that nobody else in the world could love you, how
long before I went insane? Only if his love changes your love for me: only then
would I go mad. I know with all my heart that that will not happen.
Who's the sadist who invented boats? We are not having fun here!!
It's only snow! You got fur. What's the problem?
I swear, this horse knows how much my ass hurts. That's an evil whinny if
ever I've heard one.
Money may or may not be the root of all evil, but it's sure fun having a ton
of it.
If you think having a bunch of thugs with swords makes everything you do
right, me and my bunch of thugs will be pleased to disabuse you of that fantasy.
Kid, if you want to grow up to be a swordswoman like me, decide first how
you'd like to retire. If it's anything other than footpaws first you may have some
delusions to clear up.
Have I killed a lot of people? Wrong question. We've killed a lot of people.
The soldier who kills on his or her own is a murderer. It's the unit that kills.
Otherwise no soldier could bear it.
Being afraid to die is a good thing. It can make you more careful, it can help
you fight harder, and it can save your life by telling you when it's okay to run like
hell. And it can give you an edge by helping you to recognize when your enemy's
more afraid to die. An enemy who's not afraid to die, that's where the running
comes in.
I do not hold you in my arms because I love you. I hold you in my arms
because I cannot, will not, refuse to, let go of you. Selfish of me, huh?
I'm not happy here. I feel like spreading it around reeeal thick.
We're not lost. We're on our way home. If we knew where we were and
where home was, now that would just take all the fun out it, no?
It's when we stop being homesick that we're in trouble. So long as we can
still feel that, we can keep going. We lose the hope of home and we might stop
and die out here.
You want to come with us? Hey healer, got a head case for you here, needs
help real bad.
=============================================================================
<<< PAGE 1 OF 3 First Page PAGE 3 OF 3 >>>
PAGE 2 OF 3
.
.
© 2011 Fred Brown
.
.
............................................................................................................................................
............................................................................................................................................
❱❱❱❱ NOTA BENE: This copy is in a clearer, better-readable font, and can only be read on DARK screens.
The Enhanced text copy that's readable on cyan screens is here:
THE WIT AND WISDOM OF CAPTAIN LIO (Enhanced text)
............................................................................................................................................
............................................................................................................................................
|
| Page Links: ·1· ·2· ·3·
|
=============================================================================
THE WIT AND WISDOM OF CAPTAIN LIO:
You can't get blood out of a turnip? You know, I do believe you're right. I've
got a sword, so I'll just take the turnip, thank you.
Screw being prepared for anything. Be prepared for what's going to hit you
next. Or there ain't gonna be an after.
We're just troops, okay? We are not prostitutes!!
A woman who can't fight can always make babies. Then she can sit back and
watch her babies get killed by people who can fight. Good to be able to fight too.
Do I have to give all the orders around here?
After we don't all die, then you can argue with me!!
I like an enemy who wants to kill us. The look of disappointment on their
faces when we off them: Priceless.
Try not to have sex on the battlefield. You've got enough people trying to
poke stiff things into you; one more just gets in the way of your sword stroke.
Never underestimate an enemy. Point your own sword at your throat, will
you?
It never hurts to overestimate your enemy. Although if you do it right it can
really hurt your enemy. Attack with more force than you need? Yeah, I can
approve of that.
Try and make the enemy underestimate you. The look of surprise on their
faces when you prove them wrong: Even more priceless.
If you really think you can rape a wolf, do you mind telling me your next of
kin? I'm sure they'd like to collect the pieces for an orderly funeral service.
If I fall in love with you, I'll have to kill anything that tries to kill you. I hope
you don't have too many enemies or we're not going to get in much sex.
You wanna curse the gods? Feel free. Just don't be too pissed when they
curse you back.
Cold steel in your paw lowers the chances of finding cold steel in your gut.
Any questions?
All right! Who's the dumbhead who started this party without inviting me?
Look, if you see things my way, the rest of your life will be richly filled with
many other fun and interesting things to see and do. But you do have a choice
here.
Naked force does not, has never, and never will change anybody's mind. It
can make them intensely interested in not fighting you anymore. That's good
enough for me.
What we love, we fight for, and fight to protect. We cannot forget that love.
Nor love fighting more. Tough balance.
Armies do not march on their stomachs. But just try marching on an empty
one.
In my love for you, I would give you the stars. Not being mine to give, let
me give you my kiss instead. Tell me how many stars you see when we're done.
What, stop fighting just because they're beating us? Do I look like I need to
hear a joke right now?
I don't think we're in a good position here.
If we needed more armour we'd wear more armour. Although if we wore
less, I suppose anybody fighting us would have to do so with a hard-on. Or more
of one. We should try that sometime.
Come on, you cows!! Why don't we lose this one for a change?!
Staring at my tits like that does make it a lot easier for me to kill you. You
do know that, right?
The minute we take joy in killing, we're lost. After the battle, you want to
look down at the enemy and say, 'These could have been good friends.' Then
mourn them. I find that somewhat helpful. Not a lot, since they were trying to kill
us, but somewhat.
I'll worship a god or gods that doesn't keep throwing crap at us. You'll notice
I'm kinda still looking.
Why fight and kill? Depends how long you want to live. The people trying to
kill you are usually very solid on how long they want you to live.
One skilled paw with a sword can usually beat four unskilled paws with
swords. More than that, and you want to pay great attention to your two skilled
footpaws.
He's a horse fur! Of course I want to have sex with him. Duh!
If my love for you meant that nobody else in the world could love you, how
long before I went insane? Only if his love changes your love for me: only then
would I go mad. I know with all my heart that that will not happen.
Who's the sadist who invented boats? We are not having fun here!!
It's only snow! You got fur. What's the problem?
I swear, this horse knows how much my ass hurts. That's an evil whinny if
ever I've heard one.
Money may or may not be the root of all evil, but it's sure fun having a ton
of it.
If you think having a bunch of thugs with swords makes everything you do
right, me and my bunch of thugs will be pleased to disabuse you of that fantasy.
Kid, if you want to grow up to be a swordswoman like me, decide first how
you'd like to retire. If it's anything other than footpaws first you may have some
delusions to clear up.
Have I killed a lot of people? Wrong question. We've killed a lot of people.
The soldier who kills on his or her own is a murderer. It's the unit that kills.
Otherwise no soldier could bear it.
Being afraid to die is a good thing. It can make you more careful, it can help
you fight harder, and it can save your life by telling you when it's okay to run like
hell. And it can give you an edge by helping you to recognize when your enemy's
more afraid to die. An enemy who's not afraid to die, that's where the running
comes in.
I do not hold you in my arms because I love you. I hold you in my arms
because I cannot, will not, refuse to, let go of you. Selfish of me, huh?
I'm not happy here. I feel like spreading it around reeeal thick.
We're not lost. We're on our way home. If we knew where we were and
where home was, now that would just take all the fun out it, no?
It's when we stop being homesick that we're in trouble. So long as we can
still feel that, we can keep going. We lose the hope of home and we might stop
and die out here.
You want to come with us? Hey healer, got a head case for you here, needs
help real bad.
=============================================================================
<<< PAGE 1 OF 3 First Page PAGE 3 OF 3 >>>
Category All / All
Species Wolf
Size 240 x 240px
File Size 5.6 kB
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