*raises an eyebrow...

and what sort of place is this and why is he there? Is the grandfather a vissage and staying because he loves Timothy? I mean - I can't seehim sending his grandson away like that.

*gives him a hug...

V.

‘Is the grandfather a vissage and staying because he loves Timothy?’ *nods and pats the vixen on the head gently and turns away silently*

I was beginning to wonder if I was too vague what with no one commenting. As it is I felt like experimenting to see if I could get the concept through without using several of the more obvious words, like orphanage and nun, dead and so on. Still I’m sure no one that hasn’t been paying attention to Timothy before now will miss what’s happening, so be it.

I almost did... a few more hints might help (especially for the slow ones like me) - perhaps the sunlight streaming through him or something. I missed that she was a nun... I was thinking it was a military academy or something and she was head mistress (dressed in black leather - oooooooo)

Poor Timothy has had such a hard hard life.

*gives the Cat a large hug...

V.

See my reply to Poetigress.

I admit I missed the crucial points here -- I was thinking something more like a boarding school than an orphanage, and that his grandfather was taking him there simply because he wasn't strong enough to take care of him. I guess I should have realized the possibility, what with Timothy's new ability to see spirits, but it just didn't come to me.

No offense, but this series is getting kind of depressing. >^_^<

I think this is a perfect example of testing new things in writing. I wanted to know just how vague I could get before what I was trying to convey became too obscure. Sometimes you just have to go too far and fail to see just where the line is. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hurt or upset that it didn’t quite work out, it’s just a another step in the learning process we all have to go through as writers. Best to get the feel for where that line is on something like a prompt instead of a real submission.

So yeah, thanks greatly for the honest and helpful comments and critiques from each of you.

Oh, and things should start getting better for Timothy soon. Besides they can’t get much worse…

*gives him a hug... silly Cat type... but kudos in finding out who you are as a writer...

V.

Oh, I’ve always known, it’s just a mater of being able to tell clearly what I want to convey.

Thanks.

Intriguing. I guess I would fall in the others in saying that I didn't quite get it when I read it but it is slowly starting to make sense now.

Yeah, good thing is I know how to avoid that mistake again.

Nothing loved is ever really gone even in death Timothy will need his gran in this place

You just said in one sentence what took me nearly 800 words.

Ah but you showed it to the reader I merely told the reader.

I managed to get what you were doing with Timothy's grandfather, but it did not happen until the very last line of the story. That was one of those moments for me.

Congratulations on trying something new. I'm looking forward to where you take this story in the future.

(chuckles) Good to hear it worked as planned on someone.

Interesting. New twists. Didn't quite get it on the first read, but as I read the comments here the story opened a bit better to me. Very well written piece, the message got clear, well at least after the second read, although there isn't much happening in the story. Great little piece, I enjoyed reading this.

For once it has actually helped me to come to someone's work long after it was posted. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get to this, but I think I was able to appreciate it far more as a result.

Like Panzergulo, I was aided by the comments left by other readers. Unlike him, I read those comments first, a habit I've had for a while. Because of this, I was prepared and able to see with clarity and better understanding the scene you presented. While I was denied that "Sixth sense" revelation at the end, I still felt the quiet, distraught weight of Timothy's grandfather as he experienced his grandson's new surroundings. I, too, feel pity for poor Timothy and his situation. But I also wonder what kind of support his grandfather's spirit will lend him.

I'm really looking forward to the other works you've posted while I was away.

Thanks, and welcome back.

I loved the revelation at the end.

So, now I'm finally all caught up with Timothy. I'm waiting patiently for the next installment. Do I have to start poking you again?

Sorry about the delay but I’ve been under the weather so to speak. Haven’t had the energy or ambition to even stay up with my reading let alone write anything, so no poking…

No poking, but feel better.

Oh dang, I didn't see that coming with Timothy's grandfather! Excellent twist! What other surprises await our intrepid young hero in this new school?

He he he.