Well, I'm happy it worked!

I looked for something that said export and it asked to where. Gave a list and one was PDF. That I recognized as something useable by FA and there you go. Thanks for your response.

The grass is truly greener on the other side it would seem. Well done. While the usage of diction and the wording in your sentences was confusing at times, I found myself quite drawn to the content all the same. I quite enjoyed the overarching theme and ideas presented within this work. My only wish (due in no small part to my curiosity) was that a more full and encapsulating account of the events that occurred in Kailyn's lifetime be given. I understand if the intent was to summarize but I could not help but wish to engross myself more in the unique idiosyncracies and aspects of this culture you had created.
What's more, I found the introduction to "Kailyn's" side of this tale a bit jarring and puzzling at first. It wasn't until a number of paragraphs later that I was able to piece the unique parts of this perspective together. That this was in fact an entirely different individual and not say...a dream state. As it stands though I quite enjoyed your story telling and the direction it has gone. Do continue your literary works. You are as artful with the pen as you are the brush.

Thank you for your kind word and critique! Yes I even get confused when reading my own works at times and as you said, some wording and sentences were in need of a bit of tweaking. I did go back in and changed quite a few areas. Removed some wording and changed others or broke up longer sentences. It does seem smother to me now and I will repost it this afternoon.

I tried to use parallels and opposites and balance the story between the two worlds without getting to complex and detailed, something that I have a hard time doing in my drawings. Stories come easily for me and I didn't really have to think when I wrote this. I just had a little inspiration from a picture and started writing and things materialized and fell into place as I went. The story in my mind was actually more complex and detailed but I chose to keep things condensed.

Kalyn's world is reasonably developed in my mind and I could write a whole story about it I suppose but I probably have a dozen short stories in various stages, most 75% or more along. I will be happy I can finish up two this year.

I also have 3 novel length trilogies outlined but will probably never get to them. Started one and was maybe 30,000 words in when it vanished without a trace. Hopefully it's still in there somewhere but I don't have the skill to look.

I'll try and find something soon and dust it off and see what I can do with it.

Again thanks, I really appreciate the time you send here. It inspires me to write more. :)

Glad to be of help! I am pleased that you intend to expand this unique universe. I also look forward to reading over your revision and seeing the changes made! If you happen to find the content of that novel again I would love to examine it at length as well. Your stories contain an element of dreaming and visceral emotion I have scarcely come across in fiction nowadays. Know that I fully encourage you to do more when time allows. What's more, you have earned yourself a fan and I look forward to what the future brings.

Something is preventing me from posting a revised piece over the file posted although I can post a new one just fine. I'll post it this evening.

Also, while trying to change the file format, I found the missing story chapter! It's been a year and a half since it disappeared. I'm gonna clean it up and figure out where to post it. :)

By all means do so! Looking forward to seeing both your revisions and what they have to offer!

Revised version posted and I moved this to scraps. I corrected and changed a lot and it seems to have fewer rough spots. But please let me know if you see any problem areas.

Thanks for all the encouragement, it's got me writing again and now that I have found the missing story segment, actually several each a chapter outlined or started to some degree, I see perhaps a possibility of finishing a full length story. Be a while though, I can't type. Just hunt and peck. :)

Most excellent! I'll certainly review it once I'm able to do so. I'll see if I can't do so tomorrow. In the meantime, congradulations on the recovery of your work! I am thrilled to hear your intent to continue and would enjoy taking a look at the final draft!

I must admit I really enjoyed this story of yours and hope you continue to make more of them.

Thanks! I already have many more but I just have to finish them up. Most are near completion.

You're very welcome.

Any luck turning it into a .txt file? I mean, I've intern edited before, and I like reading things in Word or .pdfs more so than reading them up here on FA, but I also dislike having to download stories. Also, I cannot post any comments to a .pdf or direct FA post. Anyway, if you can convert the file into a fairly clean .txt or .rtf next time you upload, it'd probably be best, since there's no download required.

Anyway, I don't know if you had any sort of goal in mind when writing this, such as if you were going for a more character-oriented internal conflict or plot-oriented external conflict, or if you were thinking about potentially publishing it at all. I'm just going to put a few impressions down.

1) first, regarding mentions of strange sentence structure-- "Kaila had just turned 20 and the rest of the group was the same or nearly so" is an example. I can make sense of it, but it's just overworded. You could say "The whole group was approaching their twenties," for instance. And normally if the # is <100, you write it out in a word.

2) The beginning set up the scene well. A lot of people write in white rooms starting out scenes, but you established a quality setting. But, the drawback: you were heavy on backstory and telling rather than showing through a scene in the beginning, though. We don't need to know everything about the protag's past right out of the gate. Slows the pace to a crawl, and can make readers feel like they're going through a laundry list of past events just to get to the intrigue of the story. I skimmed over some of pages 2 and 3 for instance because nothing much was really going on.

3) The whole show vs. tell is vague when people critiquing just say to "show" things, so I'll try to explain what you might be able to do: for instance, instead of writing "she was drawn to interests none of the others were," you can have her say in dialogue, "hey, why don't we go hunting" or w/e she says, and everybody else is like "wtfomg no u fool." This way we get the same point without being slapped across the face by the king salmon of obviousness makes for a more compelling read, too, much more so than my just being told she did this this and this, like this and that, and the others did not. Ho hum, a little dull.

4) typos I found, idk if you know them yourself or not: Pg 3: "tell a tail," "she was to analytical," several spacing and other typos, a tense change, etc. I could name most of the smaller things, but I don't want to be the only one to nitpick every little thing, especially if you aren't necessarily interested in getting too serious with it at this time.

I don't have time to get all the way through right now, but if I get a chance, I'll finish it up in the next several days. The characters seem interesting so far, and I think you have a story here. As with many works, there are just some ways it could probably be told a bit better is all

Hope that helps, teiirka!

I may read this too. I'm trying to see if PDF's from this site work on my kindle. Last one I tried wasn't compatible. Which I know is stupid. You'd think an ereader would be equipped to handle PDFs? Hmm. I'll transfer this one over to it and try.

FA made a mess of it when posted! Hope it works.