Art by: http://weisdrachen.deviantart.com/

Let’s see here… One… Two… Three… Four… Five… Six… Seven… Eight…Ni- ROOAAARR THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG!” Remmyzilla shouted as she stood herself up. With a roar she let loose a blast of frightfully hot atomic fire breath, turning the craterous toe-print full of cars into a puddle of bubbling lava in a matter of seconds. With smoke drifting up from her jaws and the surrounding city blocks engulfed ingreen flame, she turned around began to look across what was left of burnt,shattered cityscape.

Ever since getting a news helicopter and several telephone lines tangled up in her hair, she’d been hearing nonstop news broadcasts, most of them talking about how big she’d gotten when she ignored the military when they instructed her that that she was “under no circumstances to be allowed to stuff that entire nuclear reactor in her mouth” and promptly gained several thousand feet of height. Well, she certainly showed them, but now she was unable to escape the mystery of just how tall she was amidst the broadcasted speculation amidst damage figures, evacuation orders, and a tremendously annoying gum commercial. Of course, simply relying on the information of far-away news broadcasts without any fact-checking was no way to properly glean information about how big one’s self was, and so, she was stuck trying to figure it all out for herself.

Unfortunately, each method she tried, from stacking up skyscrapers and counting the floors, to asking a crowd of tinies to walk from her ears down to her toes and count their steps, to her most recent effort of lining up cars in a toe print and adding them all up was slow, tedious, and worst of all, boring! Like an infomercial-opening actor, the titanic ‘yotezilla threw up her arms and roared with all her might “There has to be a better way!”

The monumental blast of sound from her pleading roar tore down a cluster of skyscrapers already damaged by her earlier escapades throughout the city, and as if on cue, revealed the solution to that which vexed her so. As the once-gleaming towers blasted by sound waves, windows shattering in fractions of a second before the vibrations and sonic assault proved too much for the concrete constructions, and they crumbled with a tremendous crash, the dissipating clouds of dust revealed the solution. Remmyzilla’s ears twitched, and she swiveled her head to look over in the direction of the noise of the collapsing buildings. A few wags of her tails blew away what left of the dust clouds, and her eyes lit up upon seeing what was before her.

Excited and grinning as wide as she possibly could, the monstrous, fluffy beast hurried to stomp over to the sports stadium she’d somehow missed earlier. Giddy and giggling, she stomped up to the oblong structure, her trio of tails wagging a furiously excited pace as she stood tall over the basin-like structure. Not wanting to mess up her once chance to finally get the facts she so desired, the coyju slowly lifted a paw and arched her innermost toe downwards after taking careful aim. Gradually she edged her digit into the bowl of the football stadium, moving close and closer with measured care before finally stopping as her mountainous toe loomed just above the stadium’s rim.

Most of the bowl was engulfed in the shadow of her thick, broad toe as it hung in the air just feet above. A small twitch of her digit shattered the enormous lighting arrays that jutted up above the stands, showering sparks down onto the field’s artificial turf and sending a tingle through her leathery toe pad. She was almost sure that she hear a few cheering tinies way down below, but there were more pressing matters at hand right now than proper technique for stepping on any tinies below; the integrity of her size in the minds of billions the world over was at stake! She took a deep breath, double checked her aim, and then pressed down.

Steel, concrete, iron, and plastic proved no match for the coyju’s enormous digit; the thick pad beneath her toe was too tough for the structure to do more than gently dimple before being overcome and crushed. Soft, tingly crashes and crunches drifted up to her ears as Remmyzilla pressed down further and further. A sudden collapse almost made her lose her balance as the upper stadium decks crumbled, falling dozens of feet down onto the bottom bleachers when the concrete pillars that held them up shattered under the hundreds of thousands of tons of pressure being forced downward through a skyscraper-height wall of fur and flesh. Down, down, down came the rest of the doomed stadium before her toe finally impacted the soft, plastic turf with a mighty boom both heard and felt for dozens of miles in all directions.

All the while she smiled, fangs the size of office buildings gleaming bright and her grin widening with each soft crackle of concrete, every snapping steel girder, and with the final crash of her toe against the earth. Satisfied at last, she gave her toe a few ground-rumbling twists, mashing and grinding the rubble to a fine powder beneath her the rough, leathery skin of her toepad before the rest of her paw thundered down with such force that the earth itself rose up and rippled away from the impact zone like the surface of a pond disturbed by a falling boulder.

“Huh…guess the news tinies were right! One of my toes can fill up a stadium!”