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You all know me to be a solid writer striving to make a name for myself in the mainstream market. However, as I've come to realize, I cannot do this without the help of friends and volunteers who are willing and able to give my tales a try to see if they truly are worthy of taking up shelf space at a Borders, Walden Books, or Amazon.com.
For this reason, I have elected to share with all of you my "Agent Editions" of my two, master projects. If you could find the time, I would genuinely appreciate any and all thoughts on the validity of these works as I can discover whether-or-not my time writing them is worth it, or not.
Please note that, if interest is expressed, I am considering posting more of the story for review. One cannot hope to succeed in the world of writing and publishing without good feedback. Please note that, to anyone who is kind enough to help and is genuinely interested, I will be certain to include your name, if you'd like, in the books' "Special Thanks" section should they ever be successfully picked up.
****
This is the story I have been going on-and-on about having written and submitted since January of this year. Thus far, I have received 12 letters of dis-interest from publishing agents in my field and I am trying to figure out what may be the cause of this. However, one big cause is that I am an unpublished author with no major credits to my name. But, if you think of anything else, please let me know!
The whole story comes out to about 132 pages in length and took me over two-and-a-half months of near straight work to complete. It is for the fact that it takes me so long to write and edit these that I am eager to see the thoughts of people out there.
****
AGENT SYNOPSIS:
Spiritual Sorcerer, Emino, senses something foul making its way through the planar void and its next stop is a world he knows all too well. Will his psychic powers be enough to defeat this imposing force before it can harm those he cares about?
The City of Solitude is a 55,700 word tale that follows Emino as he travels to the magical world of Silmaria. Here, he will meet up with friends both old and new as he journeys with an unlikely group of heroes to defeat the vile and vengeful queen of sorrow, Apathina. Along the way, Emino learns a valuable lesson about the power of teamwork that he won’t soon forget.
Characters featured in The City of Solitude range from humans to the colorful, and lovable, dinosaur-race known as haposaurs. Haposaurs are a long-standing race who reside on the isle of Whimsia. They are naturally apt to spell casting, ever curious, and enjoy being a part of the action. In essence, like a human child driven to know and be a part of everything and anything. Those haposaurs who interact directly with Emino each have distinct personalities that he, as a psion, comes to admire and learn from as the story progresses. Silmarian humans in this tale simply serve the role of filler and act to further entice the reader into wanting to know more about the world in which Emino has opted to go off and protect.
Emino’s story is but one part of a much larger universe of tween oriented, fantasy fiction. Along with Emino having a subsequent story himself, the characters he encounters on Silmaria have their own share of juvenile friendly adventures ahead, and behind, them. This aspect of City of Solitude makes it highly versatile in that, depending on where interest lies, a grand story can be told.
Another core feature of The City of Solitude is its breadth of mystical references and characters. Children within the tween demographic are quite creative and capable of getting into the stories and shows they experience. The City of Solitude caters to this aspect by providing a variety of mystical elements including psychic powers, spell casting, and the use of mystical runes to conjure magic. Each character embraces one, or more, of these aspects and responds to it differently based on the given situation. Such a concept allows the reader not only an opportunity to bond with the characters, but also imagine ways they themselves could expand upon the story in their own, special way. This gives the story lasting power by fueling interest in future releases while encouraging the natural, imaginative nature of children of this age.
For this reason, I have elected to share with all of you my "Agent Editions" of my two, master projects. If you could find the time, I would genuinely appreciate any and all thoughts on the validity of these works as I can discover whether-or-not my time writing them is worth it, or not.
Please note that, if interest is expressed, I am considering posting more of the story for review. One cannot hope to succeed in the world of writing and publishing without good feedback. Please note that, to anyone who is kind enough to help and is genuinely interested, I will be certain to include your name, if you'd like, in the books' "Special Thanks" section should they ever be successfully picked up.
****
This is the story I have been going on-and-on about having written and submitted since January of this year. Thus far, I have received 12 letters of dis-interest from publishing agents in my field and I am trying to figure out what may be the cause of this. However, one big cause is that I am an unpublished author with no major credits to my name. But, if you think of anything else, please let me know!
The whole story comes out to about 132 pages in length and took me over two-and-a-half months of near straight work to complete. It is for the fact that it takes me so long to write and edit these that I am eager to see the thoughts of people out there.
****
AGENT SYNOPSIS:
Spiritual Sorcerer, Emino, senses something foul making its way through the planar void and its next stop is a world he knows all too well. Will his psychic powers be enough to defeat this imposing force before it can harm those he cares about?
The City of Solitude is a 55,700 word tale that follows Emino as he travels to the magical world of Silmaria. Here, he will meet up with friends both old and new as he journeys with an unlikely group of heroes to defeat the vile and vengeful queen of sorrow, Apathina. Along the way, Emino learns a valuable lesson about the power of teamwork that he won’t soon forget.
Characters featured in The City of Solitude range from humans to the colorful, and lovable, dinosaur-race known as haposaurs. Haposaurs are a long-standing race who reside on the isle of Whimsia. They are naturally apt to spell casting, ever curious, and enjoy being a part of the action. In essence, like a human child driven to know and be a part of everything and anything. Those haposaurs who interact directly with Emino each have distinct personalities that he, as a psion, comes to admire and learn from as the story progresses. Silmarian humans in this tale simply serve the role of filler and act to further entice the reader into wanting to know more about the world in which Emino has opted to go off and protect.
Emino’s story is but one part of a much larger universe of tween oriented, fantasy fiction. Along with Emino having a subsequent story himself, the characters he encounters on Silmaria have their own share of juvenile friendly adventures ahead, and behind, them. This aspect of City of Solitude makes it highly versatile in that, depending on where interest lies, a grand story can be told.
Another core feature of The City of Solitude is its breadth of mystical references and characters. Children within the tween demographic are quite creative and capable of getting into the stories and shows they experience. The City of Solitude caters to this aspect by providing a variety of mystical elements including psychic powers, spell casting, and the use of mystical runes to conjure magic. Each character embraces one, or more, of these aspects and responds to it differently based on the given situation. Such a concept allows the reader not only an opportunity to bond with the characters, but also imagine ways they themselves could expand upon the story in their own, special way. This gives the story lasting power by fueling interest in future releases while encouraging the natural, imaginative nature of children of this age.
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Dinosaur
Size 92 x 120px
File Size 119 kB
Listed in Folders
Alright, this is my next to go at! :3
Ooh, but looking at it, I've read a bit of it already! (: I remember the beginning with the dudes talking about something big about to happen... and then the happy-soar wedding, and how it got ruined... and then some new adventurers are on their way to figure things out! :3
I'll have to re-read and find out where I left off, but I think I'll end up reading from the start again too, just so that I can get a better sense of it now that I've already gotten a good idea of the story, and so that the rest will flow better too. :3
Ooh, but looking at it, I've read a bit of it already! (: I remember the beginning with the dudes talking about something big about to happen... and then the happy-soar wedding, and how it got ruined... and then some new adventurers are on their way to figure things out! :3
I'll have to re-read and find out where I left off, but I think I'll end up reading from the start again too, just so that I can get a better sense of it now that I've already gotten a good idea of the story, and so that the rest will flow better too. :3
Than-Q, Ox! Actually, you HAVE already read the "Prologue" and "Chapter 1." The only difference made in this version is within the first 4 pages of "Chapter 1" and they are some descriptive nuances I added as a result of your feedback. Again, Than-Q, than-q, ookwee!
*Big smile and thumbs up* Ah, sniffed me out, have you? Yep, yep, yep! Haposaur is abbreviated "Happy Saur." I originally called them "Tiarreasaurs." Howeve, as I bet you'll agree, the name is a bit rough. Haposaur just seemed to encompass their demeanor so much better and, frankly, was TONS easier to pronounce. :)
*Big smile and thumbs up* Ah, sniffed me out, have you? Yep, yep, yep! Haposaur is abbreviated "Happy Saur." I originally called them "Tiarreasaurs." Howeve, as I bet you'll agree, the name is a bit rough. Haposaur just seemed to encompass their demeanor so much better and, frankly, was TONS easier to pronounce. :)
Hehe, then I want to see how it's changed and improved! ;)
You're right, it's easier to make that association with the names, and tiarreasaur is a neat name, though, it'd definitely be harder to pronounce, and I wouldn't have picked up on the happy vibe as soon. ;P Ehehe~
You're right, it's easier to make that association with the names, and tiarreasaur is a neat name, though, it'd definitely be harder to pronounce, and I wouldn't have picked up on the happy vibe as soon. ;P Ehehe~
Woo! I made it to page 4! :3
...Well that's not much since that's really two pages and an extra sentence... but I still feel accomplished! It's a start! :D
But now I see how it relates to the rest... she mentioned visiting reptiles, so I think I know who they are. ;) And I'm guessing he's supposed to be a good person! so hopefully he'll help them out. :3
I remember last time I mentioned it seemed like StarWars... maybe now I have a bit more of an understanding of your work, though I still get that same idea and imagery in mind. (: However, I think that's the only part of the story that'll seem that way. Or at least, I guess I'll find out!
...Well that's not much since that's really two pages and an extra sentence... but I still feel accomplished! It's a start! :D
But now I see how it relates to the rest... she mentioned visiting reptiles, so I think I know who they are. ;) And I'm guessing he's supposed to be a good person! so hopefully he'll help them out. :3
I remember last time I mentioned it seemed like StarWars... maybe now I have a bit more of an understanding of your work, though I still get that same idea and imagery in mind. (: However, I think that's the only part of the story that'll seem that way. Or at least, I guess I'll find out!
:) You know, now that you say it again, I can see where the Prologue can give a Star Wars style feel. I mean, there's a master and apprentice and the master, Emino, goes to the leader, Lady Tuva, to seek permission to do something about a situation. On that note, Jedi council could be referenced. Hmm.
That's why I like your thinking, Oxnard. You always come up with interesting things that not even I think about it. It's like having a DVD with special features where your input is the "Special Feature" that makes me go "Hmm, never thought of it like that." How fun!
That's why I like your thinking, Oxnard. You always come up with interesting things that not even I think about it. It's like having a DVD with special features where your input is the "Special Feature" that makes me go "Hmm, never thought of it like that." How fun!
I'm bad at keeping track of characters, so I wrote down the different hapos and figured out which were adults, which were kids, and it's helped make things easier. :3 IS the name Cappy a Hamtaro reference at all? Or just a name ya liked? (:
I wonder if I missed the pockey-pants thing before! Or maybe it just didn't stand out as much then, but I notice now. 8D They're like dino diapers, right? ;P But they have their own unique use, so that's pretty cool. (: It reminds me of how we mentioned writers sneaking their fancies into their work, ehehe. ;P
Oh, and in the middle of page six there was one spelling thing I didn't catch before. "Haposaur wedding tradition requires that all present where no clothing..." I think that should have been 'wear' instead of 'where'. :3 Maybe I was too busy imagining that to notice. 8D
Hmm... the purple boom when the air ship thing arrives... I think I remember this chapter ending with purple dust spreading everywhere... I'm writing as I'm reading, so I guess I'll find out again for sure if it's the same stuff!
I also noticed they talk a bit more about that in the story... I didn't think it was weird at all - but I think the second time you read something you finished before, you kinda understand the plot a bit more almost like the person that wrote it. (: Like small video game elements and all that you don't think of the first time you play it that come in big use later!
...I still think the wedding is funny, how everyone just blows it off and loses interest. :D It's just silly and something I don't think I'd ever see in comics or writing or anywhere else. Very unique situation. :B
And the second time that I've read this, I think the human that goes on stage and collects the purple stuff seems less like a villain now. :3 Maybe he collected it to save the people, instead of using it for another reason... did the lines for him change at all? I guess I just got the wrong idea. 8D He could very possibly be one of the guys in the part before this chapter that want to help out. :3
Woo! I'll let ya know when I start the second chapter and how far I get next time I dive into this! :3
Wow, Oxnard, you have helped make a big difference yet again! I will go back and correct in all instances the "Where" to "Wear" flub. Along with "Heck," aspect you helped me realize that I do, I seem to be notorious for switching words around. When I frist wrote this, and did edits, I saw TONS of these word-flips. I guess my finger to mind translation still needs some work. *cush-cush*
*blush* *cush-cush* You also made a fun discovery when reading about the little hapos, too. This makes you and my wife the only ones that kind of made the connection on that. Going back on your birthday comic you did the other day where in one frame its "uck" and another its "interesting," I've always struggled with why I find that particular article of clothing fanciful. So, when I started writing about these young critters in 1999, I thought I could do so in a way that turned a negative into a positive. I've just always been so cutesy and, at the time and at current, I figure if I'm always going to be stuck feeling that way to a degree I might as well use my powers for good as opposed to evil. Any thoughts? *deeper blush* *cush-cush* *cush-cush*
Chapter 2 will be an actual new section for you and will explain the "surprise guest" who showed up at the end. I hope that you enjoy it. Unlike "Project: Ezil," "City of Solitude" is VERY fast paced and something big happens in nearly every chapter. That's why, in the end, it's only 132 pages. :)
Thanks again, Ox! I couldn't do it without you!
*blush* *cush-cush* You also made a fun discovery when reading about the little hapos, too. This makes you and my wife the only ones that kind of made the connection on that. Going back on your birthday comic you did the other day where in one frame its "uck" and another its "interesting," I've always struggled with why I find that particular article of clothing fanciful. So, when I started writing about these young critters in 1999, I thought I could do so in a way that turned a negative into a positive. I've just always been so cutesy and, at the time and at current, I figure if I'm always going to be stuck feeling that way to a degree I might as well use my powers for good as opposed to evil. Any thoughts? *deeper blush* *cush-cush* *cush-cush*
Chapter 2 will be an actual new section for you and will explain the "surprise guest" who showed up at the end. I hope that you enjoy it. Unlike "Project: Ezil," "City of Solitude" is VERY fast paced and something big happens in nearly every chapter. That's why, in the end, it's only 132 pages. :)
Thanks again, Ox! I couldn't do it without you!
Don’t worry about it. :3 I think it’s easy for us to catch mistakes when we write ‘em on here since a lot of time that zaggy red underline will shout it out at you. 8D But a lot of times we make little mistakes that sound write, like there, their, and all the other words that are similar to each other. (: It’s still difficult when you do write the wrong word, but spell it right, so it still refuses stand out. 8D Aw well, even games have spelling flubs. (:
It sounds like a creative way to include something from our world that you like and keep it functional in a fantasy world. :3 Sometimes I’d think in stories when people do that, it can seem kind of out of place or obvious, but I didn’t make the connection at all when I first read it, so I don’t think that applies. (: And especially if it’s something that others might misunderstand or be confused by, I’d think giving one item a different beneficial use just makes it seem like something people could appreciate more in a new light? :3
Maybe it’s kind of like how they make watches interesting and useful in cartoons by jazzing them up with all sorts of neat powers. ;P …Except, they don’t do that… but at least diapers could be big pockets (as long as you don’t keep cell phones and lap tops in it). 8D
Was City of Solitude the story that all happened in a short time span, like a day or two? Or was that Project Ezil? :3 Either way, it’s good to make progress in each chapter! I remember one of the biggest criticisms in .hack was that they didn’t make enough progress in each game or TV episode. :B So I’m glad there’s more going on for your characters! (:
Ah, I see the Cappy part too. :3 The story was about the hamster, or the guy in the comic shop? 8D Ehehe, either way, it’s neat that similar names can have those neat little relations for us!
It sounds like a creative way to include something from our world that you like and keep it functional in a fantasy world. :3 Sometimes I’d think in stories when people do that, it can seem kind of out of place or obvious, but I didn’t make the connection at all when I first read it, so I don’t think that applies. (: And especially if it’s something that others might misunderstand or be confused by, I’d think giving one item a different beneficial use just makes it seem like something people could appreciate more in a new light? :3
Maybe it’s kind of like how they make watches interesting and useful in cartoons by jazzing them up with all sorts of neat powers. ;P …Except, they don’t do that… but at least diapers could be big pockets (as long as you don’t keep cell phones and lap tops in it). 8D
Was City of Solitude the story that all happened in a short time span, like a day or two? Or was that Project Ezil? :3 Either way, it’s good to make progress in each chapter! I remember one of the biggest criticisms in .hack was that they didn’t make enough progress in each game or TV episode. :B So I’m glad there’s more going on for your characters! (:
Ah, I see the Cappy part too. :3 The story was about the hamster, or the guy in the comic shop? 8D Ehehe, either way, it’s neat that similar names can have those neat little relations for us!
Agreed. I'm a huge fan of associations and am notorious for having a mind like a steel trap when it comes to anything I can place one with. It's like that "Six Degrees to Kevin Bacon" game. Nearly everything I am involved in, or find totally awesome, has a large series of references that make it so and connects it in a unique way to me and me alone.
One great example, as you mentioned "Project Ezil" is the name "Oxnard." I first heard it on "Hamtaro" and thought it was a really cool name. I later came to discover it was an actual city over in California and, for some reason, I never seem to forget that. Later, when I went to Colorado, I ALWAYS ended up being near, or around, the train stop for "Oxford," which I renamed as a result of happy association to "Oxnard" and shared it with my fellow students.
Then, as I believed a space would be helpful here, I moved down here and discovered there is a city about 30 minutes away from where I'm at called Oxford and, just this week, I learned a position I am quite qualified for is open there. So, yet another positive "Oxnard" reference for me. :) Finally, and probably most importantly at this point, is that I met you. The only person I know who really likes Oxnard the Ham-Ham as much as I do and, in addition, are a great friend and inspiration all around.
So, in sum, you could say the sunflower krmp'ing, Ham-Ham has been a long source of good luck and times for since 2002. No doubt, through you and other circumstances, he'll be a long-term positive force for many years to come. :)
One great example, as you mentioned "Project Ezil" is the name "Oxnard." I first heard it on "Hamtaro" and thought it was a really cool name. I later came to discover it was an actual city over in California and, for some reason, I never seem to forget that. Later, when I went to Colorado, I ALWAYS ended up being near, or around, the train stop for "Oxford," which I renamed as a result of happy association to "Oxnard" and shared it with my fellow students.
Then, as I believed a space would be helpful here, I moved down here and discovered there is a city about 30 minutes away from where I'm at called Oxford and, just this week, I learned a position I am quite qualified for is open there. So, yet another positive "Oxnard" reference for me. :) Finally, and probably most importantly at this point, is that I met you. The only person I know who really likes Oxnard the Ham-Ham as much as I do and, in addition, are a great friend and inspiration all around.
So, in sum, you could say the sunflower krmp'ing, Ham-Ham has been a long source of good luck and times for since 2002. No doubt, through you and other circumstances, he'll be a long-term positive force for many years to come. :)
Oh, I never did answer your question, did I? *cush-cush*
"City of Solitude" takes place over a 24 hour period. However, Emino and friends aren't quite as intense as, say, Jack Bauer over the course of a "24" hour time-span. :)
"Project Ezil" takes place over the entirity of a summer season. Bo grows and becomes more skilled in access technology while developing her magical powers. Huzzah!
"City of Solitude" takes place over a 24 hour period. However, Emino and friends aren't quite as intense as, say, Jack Bauer over the course of a "24" hour time-span. :)
"Project Ezil" takes place over the entirity of a summer season. Bo grows and becomes more skilled in access technology while developing her magical powers. Huzzah!
Oh, almost forgot, the name "Cappy" is actually derived from a guy I was referred to see who owned a comic and card shop. It was ironic, because my dad came into the store with me and, on our first encounter with the owner, he asked, "Are you Cappy?"
On another note, though, seeing the name in Hamtaro did inspire a later episode of the Short Story series I wrote that I entitled "Cappy's Collection." In it, you find out where Cappy got his name and, as I wrote it, I thought of our shy, little hamster friend. Yep, yep, yep! Sure did!
On another note, though, seeing the name in Hamtaro did inspire a later episode of the Short Story series I wrote that I entitled "Cappy's Collection." In it, you find out where Cappy got his name and, as I wrote it, I thought of our shy, little hamster friend. Yep, yep, yep! Sure did!
Alright! Chapter two. :3
Hmm... so the hapos met Emino a while before? :3 I guess maybe that means Prologue might have happened a bit before he came to the Hapothingies world, before he met the kids prior to the wedding day.
I'm getting more used to who's who too. :B At first it was a lot of kids, but now I know the pink girl is more of a leader, Cappy and Fritter I think are the youngest, Scuttle's loud, and Lucky is one of the smarter ones since he got to go with the other dude? :3 the Emino guy also kinda reminds me of Morgan in the other story - not that he shows off his abilities as much or anything, but I guess just being a human male (actually, maybe Morgan isn't human... maybe this guy isn't either... unless humans have lanky arms and big eyes... but they're both dudes that deal with magic? So... I guess that's why. 8D)
Hmm... I'm not sure if this is how it's supposed to be or not, but in the middle of page twenty before Lucky gets under Emino's cloak, he asks, "Really?" and then Emino responded, "Really?" But I thought it sounded more like a confirmation, like "really." or "really!" Might just be that I read it wrong or something though. (:
I guess I'll stop there for now with 8 pages left to go? :3 I wonder where they're going after breaking that wall down! It's good to leave off on a wonder. :B
I might even come back to read more today if I can. (: Mid terms start up this week, but I think I'll be able to finish this by Tuesday if I don't get this read tonight. :D With the Haposaurs like they are, it's no wonder they're already getting things done!
Hmm... so the hapos met Emino a while before? :3 I guess maybe that means Prologue might have happened a bit before he came to the Hapothingies world, before he met the kids prior to the wedding day.
I'm getting more used to who's who too. :B At first it was a lot of kids, but now I know the pink girl is more of a leader, Cappy and Fritter I think are the youngest, Scuttle's loud, and Lucky is one of the smarter ones since he got to go with the other dude? :3 the Emino guy also kinda reminds me of Morgan in the other story - not that he shows off his abilities as much or anything, but I guess just being a human male (actually, maybe Morgan isn't human... maybe this guy isn't either... unless humans have lanky arms and big eyes... but they're both dudes that deal with magic? So... I guess that's why. 8D)
Hmm... I'm not sure if this is how it's supposed to be or not, but in the middle of page twenty before Lucky gets under Emino's cloak, he asks, "Really?" and then Emino responded, "Really?" But I thought it sounded more like a confirmation, like "really." or "really!" Might just be that I read it wrong or something though. (:
I guess I'll stop there for now with 8 pages left to go? :3 I wonder where they're going after breaking that wall down! It's good to leave off on a wonder. :B
I might even come back to read more today if I can. (: Mid terms start up this week, but I think I'll be able to finish this by Tuesday if I don't get this read tonight. :D With the Haposaurs like they are, it's no wonder they're already getting things done!
*Nods and smiles* You are doing me more of a favor in these comments than you'll ever know, Ox. From your input, I now know, without a shadow of a dbout, that "City of Solitude" cannot work as a single entity. It REQUIRES the pre-reading of the short-story series in order to make proper sense. *Thumbs up and winks*
"City of Solitude" is truthly the END of a spin-off series I wrote based on a 200+ page manuscript I wrote between 1999 and 2003. The spin-off series runs approximately 24 to 26 episodes, like most TV shows, and "CoS" is the grand culmination of it all.
After I wrote "CoS," I believed it MIGHT work as a single unit. Especially as most Literary Agents aren't big on Short Stories. However, you may agree, "CoS" is far too deep and, at times, confusing with all its characters and concepts.
However, despite its lack of publish power currently, your input has allowed me to come up with some grand changes I will be implementing in the series as a whole. Without your input, I would've gotten lost in my own thoughts and never realized the items that so desperately needed repair for those who aren't living in my world 24 / 7. You are my saving grace, Oxnard. If I ever succeed in being published, I will make every effort to ensure you are properly noted for your efforts in making this project as marketable as possible. *Hugs*
"City of Solitude" is truthly the END of a spin-off series I wrote based on a 200+ page manuscript I wrote between 1999 and 2003. The spin-off series runs approximately 24 to 26 episodes, like most TV shows, and "CoS" is the grand culmination of it all.
After I wrote "CoS," I believed it MIGHT work as a single unit. Especially as most Literary Agents aren't big on Short Stories. However, you may agree, "CoS" is far too deep and, at times, confusing with all its characters and concepts.
However, despite its lack of publish power currently, your input has allowed me to come up with some grand changes I will be implementing in the series as a whole. Without your input, I would've gotten lost in my own thoughts and never realized the items that so desperately needed repair for those who aren't living in my world 24 / 7. You are my saving grace, Oxnard. If I ever succeed in being published, I will make every effort to ensure you are properly noted for your efforts in making this project as marketable as possible. *Hugs*
Hmmm... that might be true! Then again, I might just be slow, and other readers may be able to catch on better. Either way, I'm still glad to give you some feedback. (:
Ooooh, woah. 8D You wrote over 200 pages of a story you had? Eesh! That's impressive. I'm glad you've made a neat project with so much story to it. Hehe, and with this part being the end to all of it, it seems like a good part of the story to capture! And it's a much better idea than trying to cram all the rest of the story into one thing. Being able to make lots of neat episodes based on the stories also surprises me. .hack goes for about 26 episodes at a time, so you'd be able to cover a ton in that time. (:
I also mentioned .hack because this reminds me - .hack seems like it'd be impossible to follow in depth if I didn't make it my world. 8D And even though I am really into it, sometimes it can be too complex to follow. They usually spend a lot of time summarizing the plot up until the point that they're at, since everything gets so detailed and you kind of need to re-remember...
On that note, story telling is really tough. 8D I'm also learning that with the comic I'm doing.
On top of retelling stories, even when .hack describes characters, so we know who everyone is, I don't think the complexity makes it easy. Forgive the writing, but here's an example: "Atoli: A Harvest Cleric and member of the Moon Tree guild. Tri-Edge infected her with an AIDA, but Haseo saved her." If I just jumped into .hack, I wouldn't know what any of those underlined things are, but as a fan, I already know all that. (If I was a fan and forgot that, then it would be a good reminder.) Even professional publications have a hard time dealing with this, because it's dealing with a large story that maybe can't be summarized so simply for us. Like one-word labels for a person? It's not really possible to capture everything. Maybe something like a character description/introduction on a less-confusing level would be helpful? (: It might not be a traditional approach for writing though.
But I think I got off track a bit... even if your story is complex, I don't think it's anywhere near as bad as .hack is. (If it is, I don't know because I didn't read the 200+ pages you mentioned, ehehe.) I think it's possible to follow it even if there is a lot going on. (: I think with a group of kids, the humans, and the adults might be a big number of people, and might not be something we can all follow and memorize immediately, but I think if we focus on the ones that are the main characters at the moment (the handful of kids, Emino, and keeping their parents in mind) it's easier to read through the story without feeling overwhelmed. :3 And then gradually as we get used to them, the reader will be able to remember more and go along with the story! (:
I guess that's why they say the beginning is the hardest part of anything. Anyway, like I said, I may just be a slow reader. Hopefully this wasn't too confusing or off topic or anything, and maybe something in it was useful, I don't know. 8D Here's to hoping!
Ooooh, woah. 8D You wrote over 200 pages of a story you had? Eesh! That's impressive. I'm glad you've made a neat project with so much story to it. Hehe, and with this part being the end to all of it, it seems like a good part of the story to capture! And it's a much better idea than trying to cram all the rest of the story into one thing. Being able to make lots of neat episodes based on the stories also surprises me. .hack goes for about 26 episodes at a time, so you'd be able to cover a ton in that time. (:
I also mentioned .hack because this reminds me - .hack seems like it'd be impossible to follow in depth if I didn't make it my world. 8D And even though I am really into it, sometimes it can be too complex to follow. They usually spend a lot of time summarizing the plot up until the point that they're at, since everything gets so detailed and you kind of need to re-remember...
On that note, story telling is really tough. 8D I'm also learning that with the comic I'm doing.
On top of retelling stories, even when .hack describes characters, so we know who everyone is, I don't think the complexity makes it easy. Forgive the writing, but here's an example: "Atoli: A Harvest Cleric and member of the Moon Tree guild. Tri-Edge infected her with an AIDA, but Haseo saved her." If I just jumped into .hack, I wouldn't know what any of those underlined things are, but as a fan, I already know all that. (If I was a fan and forgot that, then it would be a good reminder.) Even professional publications have a hard time dealing with this, because it's dealing with a large story that maybe can't be summarized so simply for us. Like one-word labels for a person? It's not really possible to capture everything. Maybe something like a character description/introduction on a less-confusing level would be helpful? (: It might not be a traditional approach for writing though.
But I think I got off track a bit... even if your story is complex, I don't think it's anywhere near as bad as .hack is. (If it is, I don't know because I didn't read the 200+ pages you mentioned, ehehe.) I think it's possible to follow it even if there is a lot going on. (: I think with a group of kids, the humans, and the adults might be a big number of people, and might not be something we can all follow and memorize immediately, but I think if we focus on the ones that are the main characters at the moment (the handful of kids, Emino, and keeping their parents in mind) it's easier to read through the story without feeling overwhelmed. :3 And then gradually as we get used to them, the reader will be able to remember more and go along with the story! (:
I guess that's why they say the beginning is the hardest part of anything. Anyway, like I said, I may just be a slow reader. Hopefully this wasn't too confusing or off topic or anything, and maybe something in it was useful, I don't know. 8D Here's to hoping!
It's all very helpful. And, despite my minor knowledge of .hack, you made a good reference.
For starters, the Short Story Series "City of Solitude" completes is MEANT to be 26 tales ON PURPOSE. At the time I wrote the brunt of it, I was collecting animes on DVD and finding most to have 26 episodes per season / series. Great examples, outside of .hack, would be "Outlaw Star," "Cowboy Bebop," and "Azumanga Daioh!"
Your description of .hack character, Atoli, is also one of the most challenging things I deal with as a writer. My biggest problem is simplicity. Being able to shorten a character bio down to that is a massive challenge for me. Perhaps that is why, after receiving input, I am glad I am going to try to find a way to clean up, and submit, the Short Story Series. Going through the 26 episodes I have written for it allow a reader to really bond with each character on a comfortable pace and, thus, not be overwhelmed when they reach "City of Solitude."
You are also not a slow reader at all, Oxnard. You are actually quite fast. Especially in comparison to me. Your "Blank Slate" to my world is what I needed most to know if "City of Solitude" was too complex for readers to be welcomed into my world and, thanks to you, I now know my wife and my recent thoughts are right. So, like any creative and thoughtful sort, I am mentally working on how to make this better. Yay! :)
Thanks for all of your references and insight. It really has made an amazing difference in my work and I know I now have a positive future ahead of me because of it. :)
For starters, the Short Story Series "City of Solitude" completes is MEANT to be 26 tales ON PURPOSE. At the time I wrote the brunt of it, I was collecting animes on DVD and finding most to have 26 episodes per season / series. Great examples, outside of .hack, would be "Outlaw Star," "Cowboy Bebop," and "Azumanga Daioh!"
Your description of .hack character, Atoli, is also one of the most challenging things I deal with as a writer. My biggest problem is simplicity. Being able to shorten a character bio down to that is a massive challenge for me. Perhaps that is why, after receiving input, I am glad I am going to try to find a way to clean up, and submit, the Short Story Series. Going through the 26 episodes I have written for it allow a reader to really bond with each character on a comfortable pace and, thus, not be overwhelmed when they reach "City of Solitude."
You are also not a slow reader at all, Oxnard. You are actually quite fast. Especially in comparison to me. Your "Blank Slate" to my world is what I needed most to know if "City of Solitude" was too complex for readers to be welcomed into my world and, thanks to you, I now know my wife and my recent thoughts are right. So, like any creative and thoughtful sort, I am mentally working on how to make this better. Yay! :)
Thanks for all of your references and insight. It really has made an amazing difference in my work and I know I now have a positive future ahead of me because of it. :)
Woop woop! Exam over, reading started! (:
Emino's just learning how to read? I thought he seemed kinda older... maybe he's just started learning the haposaur language? That's interesting. Hehe.
Ehehe, I like the Green Orby's voice, from what it sounded like in my head, anyways. :B Deep and echoy, but I think hearing the word telepath made me think it was a bit sillier! Or something.
Scuttle Charm is his full name? :B Hmm.... well a loud voice can be charming! :3
And it's good to see the kids are making it to safety... though, I guess the taller kids were older and more negative, and since they'd matured to that point, they weren't as fortunate as the younger ones when it came to the fog stuff that makes everyone not care. :B
Oh! And Emino's long arm came into use already! Maybe that won't be the only time. (: hmm... Lucky's name makes me think of Ducky now! Though, it's a good name on it's own, so maybe it wasn't TLBT inspired... but the possibility just came around for me. :3
And finished! That's odd, they help the statue guy out and he turns on them? 8D Hm... if there's a battle after, I'm sure it'll be fun to watch! :3 Though, I think it'd be good for both their sakes if they focus on fixing the situation first... or maybe I understood. :3 Either way, things are always moving!
Emino's just learning how to read? I thought he seemed kinda older... maybe he's just started learning the haposaur language? That's interesting. Hehe.
Ehehe, I like the Green Orby's voice, from what it sounded like in my head, anyways. :B Deep and echoy, but I think hearing the word telepath made me think it was a bit sillier! Or something.
Scuttle Charm is his full name? :B Hmm.... well a loud voice can be charming! :3
And it's good to see the kids are making it to safety... though, I guess the taller kids were older and more negative, and since they'd matured to that point, they weren't as fortunate as the younger ones when it came to the fog stuff that makes everyone not care. :B
Oh! And Emino's long arm came into use already! Maybe that won't be the only time. (: hmm... Lucky's name makes me think of Ducky now! Though, it's a good name on it's own, so maybe it wasn't TLBT inspired... but the possibility just came around for me. :3
And finished! That's odd, they help the statue guy out and he turns on them? 8D Hm... if there's a battle after, I'm sure it'll be fun to watch! :3 Though, I think it'd be good for both their sakes if they focus on fixing the situation first... or maybe I understood. :3 Either way, things are always moving!
Yup, yup, yup! That's the one thing I'm most proud of with this story. It's like watching an action movie where there is very little downtime. Considering the audience I believe it is best for "8 to 12 year olds / tweens," I know you got to keep things popping or fear losing their attention. :)
Ah, the big, bad statue is alive is it? *nods* Emino didn't quite plan on that one. He really didn't plan on what happens to him next, either. Good thing Lucky's there, though. The statue's introduction actually is what introduces "Magical Element #2" to the story. Emino being Psychic and "The Statue" being a high-level spell-caster. Just one more to go. *cush-cush*
If you'd be interested in reading more in the future, please let me know. I can post additional sections up in my "Scraps" for you to acquire, or I can e-mail them to you. :) Only if you have time and interest, though.
Ah, the big, bad statue is alive is it? *nods* Emino didn't quite plan on that one. He really didn't plan on what happens to him next, either. Good thing Lucky's there, though. The statue's introduction actually is what introduces "Magical Element #2" to the story. Emino being Psychic and "The Statue" being a high-level spell-caster. Just one more to go. *cush-cush*
If you'd be interested in reading more in the future, please let me know. I can post additional sections up in my "Scraps" for you to acquire, or I can e-mail them to you. :) Only if you have time and interest, though.
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