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The Golden Week - Page 193
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Beautiful art in this page. That said, I actually have to say that this page bothers me a great deal. I take a risk even saying as much because all the furry kids out there are getting what they want in this page, but as a writer myself, this really runs right into a brick wall for me. Let me explain why.
So Scott's older brother "Catches" them. We gloss over that, his reaction, their reaction, you seem yo have sort of chickened out, if I may be so blunt, of showing that. Then, they are talking over coffee. Derek doesn't seem the least bit concerned. Scott's brother can clearly see, I'm sure, that Derek is waaaaaaay older than Scott. Scott is technically of legal age, but that doesn't make something like that any less of a shock to a familly member. He is Scott's older brother, so there is a relationship dynamic that should be there.
Perhaps his bother comes to terms with things after a talk, but there should atleast be shock, then the obligatory, "Is this really what you want, Scott" then the "Don't you dare hurt him, Derek."
To me, what dissapoints me a bit, is that you have these lovely characters, like mike, or the bird that was Derek's friend, and they have been written out in favor of this relationship that just boarders on inappropriate. I assume that those plots will resolve, but it seems you've dodged the obvious consequences of your new plot elements. Scott has a family. They are gonna have to adjust to him being gay and they are gonna likely have a very hard time trusting or even liking Derek because that is there barely old enough son/brother with a much older partner. Even as a gay man, if I found out my little brother was doing that, us three would sit down and have a veeeery long and serious talk.
You're a good writer! Don't cave the gravity of your story in so that you can get to the fluff.
Cheers! and keep going, mate. I'm still eager to see where you go with all this.
So Scott's older brother "Catches" them. We gloss over that, his reaction, their reaction, you seem yo have sort of chickened out, if I may be so blunt, of showing that. Then, they are talking over coffee. Derek doesn't seem the least bit concerned. Scott's brother can clearly see, I'm sure, that Derek is waaaaaaay older than Scott. Scott is technically of legal age, but that doesn't make something like that any less of a shock to a familly member. He is Scott's older brother, so there is a relationship dynamic that should be there.
Perhaps his bother comes to terms with things after a talk, but there should atleast be shock, then the obligatory, "Is this really what you want, Scott" then the "Don't you dare hurt him, Derek."
To me, what dissapoints me a bit, is that you have these lovely characters, like mike, or the bird that was Derek's friend, and they have been written out in favor of this relationship that just boarders on inappropriate. I assume that those plots will resolve, but it seems you've dodged the obvious consequences of your new plot elements. Scott has a family. They are gonna have to adjust to him being gay and they are gonna likely have a very hard time trusting or even liking Derek because that is there barely old enough son/brother with a much older partner. Even as a gay man, if I found out my little brother was doing that, us three would sit down and have a veeeery long and serious talk.
You're a good writer! Don't cave the gravity of your story in so that you can get to the fluff.
Cheers! and keep going, mate. I'm still eager to see where you go with all this.
I never said that he shouldn't be open minded. That has nothing to do with the shock of seeing your little brother in bed with an older man. Also, cleche's are good to avoid, but, they exist for a reason. Avoiding them too much can make the story seem unreal or forced. There are something like 39 stories in all the history of humanity. Originality is found in how an author spins his or her treatment of the story. If you bypass the necessary just to not do the obvious, it can actually hurt you. Rather, take what is necessary, and twist it until it is original and your own.
I'm not putting your opinion down either, but I have to disagree, mate. No offense intended.
Cheers XD
I'm not putting your opinion down either, but I have to disagree, mate. No offense intended.
Cheers XD
I understand your views but I don't see it that way. I am not responsible for everyone else's opinion. I can only call it how I see it. I am honestly not trying to be stubborn or defensive here but from my perspective and experience, I have to disagree and stand by my statement.
Let me reiterate something that you missed the last time I said it; This is not about the "Gay thing" ok? Look, I am GAY and you know what? when I told my mom I was gay, she laughed and said "oh my god, honey we always knew that!" and I said, "Well why didn't you tell me?! LOL" and she said "Because it was your journey and you had to take it on your own." I know what acceptance looks like. In fact, I received very little flack from people about it at all.
What I am calling hard to swallow is the very potentially dangerous/harmful position Scott is in from his brother's perspective. Gay, straight, I don't care! Your barely 18 year old, younger family member is with a 10-20 years older guy having a fling in your house wuith them, there are allllll kinds of things that should imediately trigger aaaaaallll kinds of alarms for anyone with half a brain in the modern, internet aged world about that scenario. What I am calling bs is the fact that there isn't any of those fears/concerns/upsets addressed and we just kind of take a nice little trip to chill town with it. That kind of seems like a "yeah right, bull shit" situation, and you wanna talk about cleche's? How about the one about the magical gay love where the older man gets the vulnerable vergin and the world just aligns and falls into place for them because they are in love? That, my good sir, is a cleche, and it's rather common in this fandom, actually.
Kimmykun is awesome, and he's a fellow writer and artist and as such, I have a lot of respect for him. But as such, I have to be honest with him and call it as I see it. That's all.
cheers.
Let me reiterate something that you missed the last time I said it; This is not about the "Gay thing" ok? Look, I am GAY and you know what? when I told my mom I was gay, she laughed and said "oh my god, honey we always knew that!" and I said, "Well why didn't you tell me?! LOL" and she said "Because it was your journey and you had to take it on your own." I know what acceptance looks like. In fact, I received very little flack from people about it at all.
What I am calling hard to swallow is the very potentially dangerous/harmful position Scott is in from his brother's perspective. Gay, straight, I don't care! Your barely 18 year old, younger family member is with a 10-20 years older guy having a fling in your house wuith them, there are allllll kinds of things that should imediately trigger aaaaaallll kinds of alarms for anyone with half a brain in the modern, internet aged world about that scenario. What I am calling bs is the fact that there isn't any of those fears/concerns/upsets addressed and we just kind of take a nice little trip to chill town with it. That kind of seems like a "yeah right, bull shit" situation, and you wanna talk about cleche's? How about the one about the magical gay love where the older man gets the vulnerable vergin and the world just aligns and falls into place for them because they are in love? That, my good sir, is a cleche, and it's rather common in this fandom, actually.
Kimmykun is awesome, and he's a fellow writer and artist and as such, I have a lot of respect for him. But as such, I have to be honest with him and call it as I see it. That's all.
cheers.
I don't mind. I responded with an elaboration of my own, but I am going to say at this point it needs to be dropped as we both stated our opinions and further hashing of them isn't gonna change things. consider what I said back. If you still disagree, fine. No worries. let's just leave it at that. :)
I definitely agree that this comic at times makes me uneasy with this adult and this person who's much younger and though of legal age, is still mentally a kid. It felt like since Derek wanted a relationship so much that he's pressuring Scott into one or his position of authority at being an older adult kind of makes it inappropriate. But, it being written of Scott taking more of the wheel has made me a bit more comfortable with it. Honestly, the deer guy coming onto Scott so hard made me way more uncomfortable than between Scott and Derek. This dude just wouldn't take no for an answer and it's creepy.
That said, some people aren't as overprotective of their siblings. My brother and I are close but he wouldn't bat an eye if I dated a dude that much older. It may seem strange, but it's hardly unrealistic for people to look at age gaps that way. Not all relationships are the same, and many people out there would be shocked but say "hey man, your body." I actually do think he'll probably talk to Scott about it after Derek leaves. And if Scott's friends are any indication, there will still be a lot of talking about this relationship and its appropriateness.
I agree with you that this comic is getting very slippery slopeish with what seems okay and what doesn't - Derek is even seeming like a better choice than the deer guy. All of Derek's reasonable friends are shut down in the name of love and all that. Definitely think this is going to explode in the future, and tbh I'd definitely agree with Derek's friends that it's not really appropriate (though they had his friends kinda go about stopping him in a dickish way)
That said, some people aren't as overprotective of their siblings. My brother and I are close but he wouldn't bat an eye if I dated a dude that much older. It may seem strange, but it's hardly unrealistic for people to look at age gaps that way. Not all relationships are the same, and many people out there would be shocked but say "hey man, your body." I actually do think he'll probably talk to Scott about it after Derek leaves. And if Scott's friends are any indication, there will still be a lot of talking about this relationship and its appropriateness.
I agree with you that this comic is getting very slippery slopeish with what seems okay and what doesn't - Derek is even seeming like a better choice than the deer guy. All of Derek's reasonable friends are shut down in the name of love and all that. Definitely think this is going to explode in the future, and tbh I'd definitely agree with Derek's friends that it's not really appropriate (though they had his friends kinda go about stopping him in a dickish way)
I agree, Matt (the deer) is a rather messed up character. I made a point on a previous page that in a real life scenario, Scott doesn't have to chose either of them because both relationships are kind of wrongish. Matt is essentially an obsessed stalker, and Derek is hovering dangerously close to predatory. However, there are many relationships with large age gaps that work.
My issue isn't that aspect so much as the avoidance of realistic drama for add-character/add-sauce drama. As for you and your brother, three questions that totally change the situation; A: are you living with him in your parents home? if so, then meeting an older guy and suddenly getting caught with him in the house doing the deed should be of concern, not because he is necessarilly worried about you, but because that is how predators and criminals get into your life. He doesn't know Derek, so suspision, shock, even being upset or reacting badly is actually expected. B: Are you just bearly 18 and still in high school? A relationship like this can ruin a young life at such a critical age. They are getting ready to graduate, maybe go to college, and instead of networking with peers, they are hanging out with some guy, who, from the outside, as you in fact noted, seems to be forcing a relationship with the younger man because og his own insecurities. Any good family is gonna worry about that. And C: Does your brother know you/trust you to be responsible for yourself? Because if he does, then that explains why he'd be comfortable with it, but Scott has shown himself to be immature and a little gullible and has a hard time making his own decisions, so I wouldn't see any reason for that trust dynamic to be there.
in short, my point in neetly summed up by you in this statement: "All of Derek's reasonable friends are shut down in the name of love and all that." which is true and could be a good plot devise if indeed it does explode. However, where there should have been one such an explosion, it didn't happen so that's where I say, "Hey, wait a minuet." as a writer XD
I like Derek. I like Scott and i get that the story is about their relationship mainly, but I want them to survive through adversity, not have the world bend to fit them. The hallmark of a good story therein lies. XD
Cheers and thanks for your thoughts back, mate.
My issue isn't that aspect so much as the avoidance of realistic drama for add-character/add-sauce drama. As for you and your brother, three questions that totally change the situation; A: are you living with him in your parents home? if so, then meeting an older guy and suddenly getting caught with him in the house doing the deed should be of concern, not because he is necessarilly worried about you, but because that is how predators and criminals get into your life. He doesn't know Derek, so suspision, shock, even being upset or reacting badly is actually expected. B: Are you just bearly 18 and still in high school? A relationship like this can ruin a young life at such a critical age. They are getting ready to graduate, maybe go to college, and instead of networking with peers, they are hanging out with some guy, who, from the outside, as you in fact noted, seems to be forcing a relationship with the younger man because og his own insecurities. Any good family is gonna worry about that. And C: Does your brother know you/trust you to be responsible for yourself? Because if he does, then that explains why he'd be comfortable with it, but Scott has shown himself to be immature and a little gullible and has a hard time making his own decisions, so I wouldn't see any reason for that trust dynamic to be there.
in short, my point in neetly summed up by you in this statement: "All of Derek's reasonable friends are shut down in the name of love and all that." which is true and could be a good plot devise if indeed it does explode. However, where there should have been one such an explosion, it didn't happen so that's where I say, "Hey, wait a minuet." as a writer XD
I like Derek. I like Scott and i get that the story is about their relationship mainly, but I want them to survive through adversity, not have the world bend to fit them. The hallmark of a good story therein lies. XD
Cheers and thanks for your thoughts back, mate.
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