This is a quick and dirty sketch. I wanted to get it done, but I feel too impatient to do it nicely. Been twitching and grunting...I dunno what the problem is.

Anyway, this is partially to come to terms with something. Dakarai is my ideal right? This picture expresses possessiveness (though I doubt anyone has any real interest in what is essentially a freak) but right now, he's kind of all I have. I do have love to give, but I'm deciding not to give it. I broke up with my boyfriend a couple days ago. One reason was because I was just unhappy. We didn't mesh too well, and another reason was because I know I was making him miserable.

I'm insane. I do insane things. I have no problem getting men to like me and I draw them right in by being fun loving, careless, and well...loose. But I also show them my depth and intelligence...they get kind of hooked and adore me. Then the real me comes out: I get withdrawn, secretive, depressed, hyper irritable, unjustly angry, and I can do crazy things to upset them. The girl they got attracted to suddenly disappears completely and they think they can bring me back, but naaaah. Doesn't happen. Bottom line is, I can't get close to people.

So until I fix myself, no more torturing people. I'm sticking with my imaginary boyfriend that happens to be a total freak, but hey that makes me feel like I've got my equal ;)

I hope Dakarai doesn't mind that I cheat on him from time to time. I've got urges!