FA+
Shop
1099 submissions
Welcome to Frappuchinos! Now Serving: The Apology
Five more to go until the 100th Frappuchino!
***
Venti found the front desk to be a bit intimidating at first, but fortunately Kedar was a patient boss. "You must enter the author's last name first--" he said.
"And the first name last," Venti finished his sentence with a sigh. "I never knew working in a library would be as challenging as making coffee."
Kedar's grin seemed to reach his cheeks. "Did you actually believe all you would be doing is stocking the books that requires a ladder?"
"Well, maybe. Yeah, I guess so."
This earned the jackal a chuckle from the chow. "Silly boy. Now you process these new arrivals, and I'll be back to inspect your work." As Kedar left, Venti looked after him with a grin.
A grin that faded three seconds after he saw Charles lumber up to the front desk. "Hello, Charles," he said without any trace of warmth.
"Hey, I gotta talk to ya, cub." The look on Charles' face was unusual. Subdued. Something Venti was not used to seeing. Couple that with how the bear was whispering was a bit disorienting.
"I'm at work, Charles," Venti whispered as quietly as he could, leaning forward and glancing around to make sure their conversation remained between the two of them. Art's words echoed in his head of how his voice could carry even in hushed tones. He didn't want anyone else to hear them.
Charles, fortunately, lowered his voice even further. "I just wanna say I'm sorry, cub. I'm sorry that I make yer life so miserable." The bear slowly shook his great head, muzzle dipped down, as if afraid to make eye contact with Venti.
"What are you talking about? Who said you make my life miserable?"
"Don't matter, I'm not gonna stick around. I done canceled my gym membership." This time Charles did make eye contact with Venti, and for the first time there was a distinct lack of overconfidence in the bear's brown eyes. "I just wanted to say I was sorry, Venti. You won't be seein' me no more." The bear turned to walk away, ignoring Venti's whispered pleas to not leave.
Venti wondered how an apology could make him feel like such a douche.
<<< PREV | FIRST | NEXT >>>
***
Venti found the front desk to be a bit intimidating at first, but fortunately Kedar was a patient boss. "You must enter the author's last name first--" he said.
"And the first name last," Venti finished his sentence with a sigh. "I never knew working in a library would be as challenging as making coffee."
Kedar's grin seemed to reach his cheeks. "Did you actually believe all you would be doing is stocking the books that requires a ladder?"
"Well, maybe. Yeah, I guess so."
This earned the jackal a chuckle from the chow. "Silly boy. Now you process these new arrivals, and I'll be back to inspect your work." As Kedar left, Venti looked after him with a grin.
A grin that faded three seconds after he saw Charles lumber up to the front desk. "Hello, Charles," he said without any trace of warmth.
"Hey, I gotta talk to ya, cub." The look on Charles' face was unusual. Subdued. Something Venti was not used to seeing. Couple that with how the bear was whispering was a bit disorienting.
"I'm at work, Charles," Venti whispered as quietly as he could, leaning forward and glancing around to make sure their conversation remained between the two of them. Art's words echoed in his head of how his voice could carry even in hushed tones. He didn't want anyone else to hear them.
Charles, fortunately, lowered his voice even further. "I just wanna say I'm sorry, cub. I'm sorry that I make yer life so miserable." The bear slowly shook his great head, muzzle dipped down, as if afraid to make eye contact with Venti.
"What are you talking about? Who said you make my life miserable?"
"Don't matter, I'm not gonna stick around. I done canceled my gym membership." This time Charles did make eye contact with Venti, and for the first time there was a distinct lack of overconfidence in the bear's brown eyes. "I just wanted to say I was sorry, Venti. You won't be seein' me no more." The bear turned to walk away, ignoring Venti's whispered pleas to not leave.
Venti wondered how an apology could make him feel like such a douche.
<<< PREV | FIRST | NEXT >>>
Category Story / All
Species Bear (Other)
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 7.5 kB
This is pretty amazing. The change of the dialogue between two characters.
But, I think it would be more powerful without the inner thoughts of Venti overemphasizing Charle's disposition. To kind of let the reader figure out the changes in the character through the dialogue alone, or through minor details.
That's my opinion though, and it doesn't deduct the fact that this is a pivotal point of the series. I really like this. I'm reading back now.
But, I think it would be more powerful without the inner thoughts of Venti overemphasizing Charle's disposition. To kind of let the reader figure out the changes in the character through the dialogue alone, or through minor details.
That's my opinion though, and it doesn't deduct the fact that this is a pivotal point of the series. I really like this. I'm reading back now.
Comments