Tomorrow (well according to the time that I'm uploading this, today) I celebrate Christmas with my family. My parents went to an LGBT panel discussion to talk about me (in a positive way), but we decided to tell our extended family about my sexuality before the conference so that they do not hear it through gossip or any other sort of shady sources. Since I've been in China for the past 3 1/2 months, I've had no contact with anyone who hasn't already known, but I've heard some things. I've heard my aunt having a conversation with her children about how LGBT suicide rates are because "they know what they're doing is wrong" and "their high off breaking the rules has come to an end as they face their guilt". Her husband believes D&D is borderline satanic, so I've always been too afraid to bring the topic up around him before. I really don't know how everything is going to go down.

I'm really worried about the gifts I've bought my relatives, too. I'm trying to be as "fair" as possible, but I'm afraid that my relatives might be hard on me. First of all, this is my "spoils" from China (a few of which I'm hoarding all to myself hehe). Second, I feel like my family is going to start judging me a lot harder if things go south. I know I shouldn't worry, but at the same time I really don't want to be accused of playing favorites or make anyone miserable because their gift was a flunk or someone got something better than everyone else.

On my flight back I caught this horrible cold, and with the sudden shift in air moisture with the increased distance away from any large bodies of water, I'm a dry, coughing mess. I'm getting light-headed when doing simple chores and I go into fits every now and then. It's really taking a lot out of me.

Additionally, my sleep pattern has been absolute mess from my return to the US. I keep absolutely running out of energy at odd times of the day with no rebound, and being awake at 6-8AM is becoming a normal occasion for me (I'm a night owl so this is really odd to me). I'm anxious for tomorrow and I don't know if my energy is going to keep up.

So I drew Daichi by my side for today (yesterday? idk). I know it's just a drawing, but I guess seeing my own character like "You can do this, we got your back and we're very proud of you" kind of sparks something in me. I think this is what I need for tomorrow (today?)