Originally drawn by StupidShepherd back in 2014.

ORIGINAL ARTIST UPLOADS
FurAffinity / DeviantArt

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This commission is a bit special to me... Not only did the artist I commission surpass my expectations with this picture, beautifully showcasing the natural scenery of Melee's homeland and setting up a good scene in Melee's life, it's the first time I ever commissioned someone to draw my character in a miserable state. Indeed, it was around this time that Melee began to undergo a lot of characterization; I began to really look at his backstory and upbringing, asking a lot of questions regarding how he should behave and act. In the end, Melee became a much more scared, timid, and depressed individual.

It probably didn't help that from 2013 to 2016 I was suffering from some serious depression that made life especially difficult for me, and said depression almost certainly bled into my character.

...

So, what excuse does Melee himself have for being fearful and depressed? Simply put, Melee is someone who is regularly haunted by his past; hatched and raised a slave in a medieval land, his crossdressing habits weren't exactly welcomed by the nobles and clergy. A pious lot, they frequently feared Melee's "fondness" for feminine clothing were putting him on a path to sin and sodomy. He's been caught doing it numerous times and each time his punishment worsened, from mild scoldings to prolonged flogging sessions. When he is caught doing it once again and threatened with legitimate torture, he fled.

He hates himself for his habit. While he was raised a slave, he had it better than most others, comfortably serving the noble families of his home town as a scribe and copyist rather than breaking his back tilling fields or mining for ore. Sure, many of the nobles constantly reminded him that he was subhuman and lesser, but it's because of them that he was better educated than even most humans of his time. It's because of them that he can even read or write at all. It's because of them that he got to live in the comfort and safety of a noble's house. It's because of them that he had a warm bed, three meals a day, and even access to the books of the clergy's ever-so-slowly-growing library. Melee had so much to be grateful for... and he threw it all away, disgracing himself, his masters, and his people. And for what? To feel pretty? Shameful.

And so here he is, still wearing the skirt he had on when he fled, looking over the fertile valleys and vast mountains of the kingdom he calls home. So big, and yet... so empty and alone... Will he ever find peace again? Will he ever manage to escape his past? And if he does, will it really be worth the trouble? He might escape his past problems, but who's to say they won't be replaced with new problems? Maybe the nobles were right... maybe he really is a lesser being.

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Originally drawn by  StupidShepherd (DeviantArt / Twitter / Bluesky / Ko-fi / Carrd)

Melee is property of  SilverMelee, A.K.A. myself.