Alright, this is an extremely personal piece, so I'm not gonna write this description in-character. I'll probably end up sounding cheesy or just aren't good at sharing my thoughts, also worrying that I'll be very bad at describing or even rambling about anxiety, but here goes nothing. And I'm alright, by the way; it's just a side of Mello and also myself that I wanted depicted in a drawing. I absolutely love this artwork, and it was drawn by the extremely understanding and wonderfully talented Combat Raccoon, whose other projects you should absolutely look at.

I have some form of anxiety, and getting into my personal symptoms (obsessive-compulsiveness, not being able to easily drop tiny things for many hours, frequent tension with little or no reason, common uneasiness, sometimes waking up severely stressed, unrealistic worry, elongated focusing on minor problems, and more things) takes a long time to explain, involves lots of irrational feelings, and it used to be really difficult to even slightly talk about it with others. It's also difficult to motivate myself for creative projects, I have nights that can be illogically ruined because some minor conflict started that wasn't also resolved, and anxiety attacks are just not fun at all and in retrospect make me look like an idiot. And if anyone is wondering, I did used to meet with a psychiatrist about it, and I'm actually about to finally start doing that again, so I'm properly taking care of myself; I also eat healthily and am up-to-date on medical checkups.

Something I like to try to do is write sometimes, so that I have some kind of a personal project to share with the world that ultimately stays behind, but as you can see in the drawing, even that's tricky when it really shouldn't be for me; I've done writing for most of my life, so you'd think it'd be less intimidating to start another short story or whatever, although that aspect might not be as related to the anxiety and is instead just another personal problem. Another detail that I wanted in the drawn artwork is Mello just sitting to the side and not really wanting to do anything, also being extremely and irrationally stressed out; I've definitely had nights like this before where I just sit still for hours, sometimes with my phone but not really being particularly creative. I improved when I used to be on prescribed antidepressants, and I hope to get back to that soon with approval, but it's still not a perfect solution. It's also extremely easy for the rest of the world to subtly discourage me from taking better steps to physiologically improve myself, whether they intend to or not.

This particular drawing isn't really a writer's block piece; it's a general anxiety drawing, and writing happens to be something that Mello works on a lot in his free time, although he's not very good at it. He's a frequently anxious extrovert who tries to keep active and pursue his own projects, but he's very easily set off and wants to improve, yet it's still like a regular challenge for him. The character is meant to partly reflect myself, with extroverted (not introverted) and anxious aspects both magnified some, and I relate to him pretty significantly. I have a lot of investment in this character, and while this is a sad piece, it's also like really important for me to have this side of him shown sometimes.

Like I said, I can't describe this stuff well, and I want to emphasize that my thoughts don't necessarily reflect someone else's either, but I might as well just try writing something down, right? Thanks for anyone who's concerned, by the way, but I'm fine; I've never been physically in trouble, I usually try to eat healthily, I'm seeing someone again soon to improve myself emotionally, I have some great people in my life, I'm fairly happy with my limited creative projects, and while I have lots of down moments, I also have positive moments too, so it's not all bad. Anxiety's complicated, and if you have it or anything else, then there's absolutely zero shame in seeking treatment or talking to others.

Sky's an outstandingly fantastic artist, I'm extremely appreciative of her tackling a serious subject like this, and I honestly can't think of anything that I dislike about this drawing. Please consider commissioning her sometime, also checking out her gallery and live streams. Thank you very much, Sky, and have a wonderful weekend!

Artist's Fur Affinity:  AttacRacc

Artist's submission link: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/32297467/