
Category All / All
Species Pony
Size 2000 x 4000px
File Size 2.42 MB
I think the insult could be improved with something like "I think it suits you". That is a stronger jab since it's personal. It also hints that he knew her. In the first sentence you could improve it by adding "You're that rookie who got demoted" as that again hints that he knew her prior to this. Even if he doesn't know her calling her a rookie would make sense and her reaction to the jab would confirm it.
That would help making it feel a little more organic.
That would help making it feel a little more organic.
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