“A message to all who seek purpose and enlightenment. We are Scepter Lux Umbra, Lieutenant of the Bloated Order Heroes Guild. Our master, Malomobus, seeks out formidable and competent individuals who wish to serve him in a life of obedience, prosperity, and glory. We seek you out not just for service, but to aid us in our goal of toting out evil wherever it may hide, so we must recruit new comers no matter the cost, so come, join our order, and live the life you deserve. One of power, servitude, and love”

Join the Bloated Order!