FA+
Shop
Night-Terrors ~
by Thrasher
🖤 KING OF THE DAMNED🖤
5 years ago
Last night I heard voices, violence, smashing, banging, cruel words driving me beyond sleep and into night terrors.
I want it to stop, I want it to end, I can't keep dealing with all this shit.
Too much in my mind, too much going on and hurting me deep in my soul.
I feel like i'm caged, ready to explode. I'm whipping myself into violent whirlwinds and I regret hurting those around me.
I can't stand it anymore, last night was a sign, I can't deal with my mental health and these moments of terror.
Sure, therapy helps alleviate the pressure, but things just keep spinning out of control.
I feel like burning out is my only option, noone understands, there is no magic pill, there is no treatment for a monster like me.
Destruction, pain, abuse, bullying has left me paranoid, delusional, scared of relapsing into being treated like a punchbag again.
My bullies, abusers throughout life and school, college, all tormented me physically, mentally, emotionally...it hurt the laughter, the teasing, the abusive words, abrasive actions and violence. Told I was different, not right, I was nothing, nobody, a freak, a monster.
Only learning one of my struggles in school was an unknown learning disability, autism, being highly sensory and unable to read well, being 'dumb' at maths, numbers...all the things i was bullied for as well as being an artist and out of my mind with anger.
A solution hasn't happened, an answer gave no comfort, only made things spiral out of control worse than normal.
Growing up with gender dysphoria, body shaming, bullying, being abused for being 'different'.
I just can't. I have answers but NO COMFORT.
My brain is spinning, my nights are filled with terror and PTSD, every painful memory.
I shit you not, a good place is only in the arms of family, my partner, but i'm still stressed.
I just can't survive this consistent chronic pain in my body and mind.
Mentally i'm ripping apart.
I feel sick and tired every day.
I don't expect anyone to understand.
No I don't want to speak to anyone right now. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to push anyone away.
I just need to find some calm in this storm of a mind.Thrasher Werewolf (C)
Art (C)
I want it to stop, I want it to end, I can't keep dealing with all this shit.
Too much in my mind, too much going on and hurting me deep in my soul.
I feel like i'm caged, ready to explode. I'm whipping myself into violent whirlwinds and I regret hurting those around me.
I can't stand it anymore, last night was a sign, I can't deal with my mental health and these moments of terror.
Sure, therapy helps alleviate the pressure, but things just keep spinning out of control.
I feel like burning out is my only option, noone understands, there is no magic pill, there is no treatment for a monster like me.
Destruction, pain, abuse, bullying has left me paranoid, delusional, scared of relapsing into being treated like a punchbag again.
My bullies, abusers throughout life and school, college, all tormented me physically, mentally, emotionally...it hurt the laughter, the teasing, the abusive words, abrasive actions and violence. Told I was different, not right, I was nothing, nobody, a freak, a monster.
Only learning one of my struggles in school was an unknown learning disability, autism, being highly sensory and unable to read well, being 'dumb' at maths, numbers...all the things i was bullied for as well as being an artist and out of my mind with anger.
A solution hasn't happened, an answer gave no comfort, only made things spiral out of control worse than normal.
Growing up with gender dysphoria, body shaming, bullying, being abused for being 'different'.
I just can't. I have answers but NO COMFORT.
My brain is spinning, my nights are filled with terror and PTSD, every painful memory.
I shit you not, a good place is only in the arms of family, my partner, but i'm still stressed.
I just can't survive this consistent chronic pain in my body and mind.
Mentally i'm ripping apart.
I feel sick and tired every day.
I don't expect anyone to understand.
No I don't want to speak to anyone right now. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to push anyone away.
I just need to find some calm in this storm of a mind.Thrasher Werewolf (C)
Art (C)
649
Views
0
Comments
27
Favorites
General
Rating
Category
Sub-Category
Species
Resolution
File Size
All
All
Unspecified / Any
1277 x 1280
194.9 kB
