A new pandemic is on the rise which is easily preventable by simply not laughing. The office is usually quiet, until one worker gets on another one's nerves.

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I tried something different with the artwork this time. This is based on an AI image and heavily touched up afterwards. Special thanks to  bingturong for proofreading!

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Hyesterical laughter

Another day, another row of spreadsheets to decipher. I knew that accounting would be boring, but honestly, school never taught me that Estelle from HR would scrutinize my behavior. Or how Richard from the IT department never seemed to be interested in solving computer issues. And who knew that allowing anyone full reign over an obtuse programming language would yield a different result every single time?

Still, it could be worse I'm not in the middle of the office, surrounded by co-workers. No, I'm sat at the edge, close to the coffee machine. That gives me plenty of opportunities to overhear the latest goings-on.

"So I went back in private and told him to get a job."

"Heh." Did he even catch his double entendre?

"What was that?"

"Oh, I said huh."

Timo leers at me, so I elaborate: "The spreadsheet I'm working on is weird. The calculation seems to use values from different tabs… It's throwing me off."

"Keep yourself in check. You know how dangerous it is to utter the H-word."

"It's only a rumor, you know."

"And COVID was a rumor as well! Until we had to be cooped up inside for two years!"

Oh great, Timo's spiel is ramping up. Even his talking partner gave him the slip.

"Do you know how agonizing it is to share a space with your kids and wife daily? Forced to live together? Oh wait, you don't! Because you’re alone!"

"Just leave me to my work. It's not like being a mindless drone will get a laugh out of anyone."

"My words are wasted on you. Just spread those sheets already"

"Heh."

Spreading sheets, good one.

I scratch my hand, satisfying an itch. Timo gives me an incredulous look. Peering at me for even letting out a little chuckle. For daring to scratch my hand. Why is he obsessed with me all of a sudden?

The situation grows tense. I ignore it and continue deciphering the spreadsheet, breaking the silence with my typing.

"Did you just chuckle?"

Oh screw you, are we that stuck-up?

"Ha! And what of it? Going to get me fired for talking back?" I shift a bit. The itch is spreading to my back.

"Stop it."

"Why? Isn't it funny how you're just being paranoid and I find the situation hilarious?"

I wiggle around in my shoes. It's odd, they should fit just fine. Talking back only made the situation worse. Is it really that funny? Or is it just gratifying to show him we aren't equal? Put him in his place. Beneath me.

"You're just being paranoid! No one else is freaking out except for you."

"Get out of my sight! Beat it!"

"Nah, I don't want to do it solo. You said it yourself: I should get a partner. Heh heh…"

The weakling looks red in the face. I hit so many of his buttons, and probably even other types of buttons, judging by the state of his pants. Hilarious!

"Red as a beet, huh? Aren't you the one who should be beating it? HAHHHAHAHahaha!"

"Ha. Ha. There. I laughed. could you now please stop?"

Damn, this chair is uncomfortable. I get out, bones cracking with disuse. I hunch over, because of my bad posture. My clothes fall off me in tatters. Not like I needed them, only makes my fur feel uncomfortable. He shrinks away from me. Shrimp needs a lesson.

"What the fuck! Why are you so big?"

"Nah, you're just small, heh-heh…"

The small man takes a few steps back, with two strides, I've already caught up. Seems like the little pup needs to be taught a lesson. I plant one of my muscular arms on the wall, daring him to back up further and hunch over him.

"Seems like someone wants to have some private time~ Haha~"

"We can't do that during office hours!"

"Ha! You think anyone can stop me?"

I lean forward. The wall gives way, the little chunks of plaster bounce off his head.

"Heh, heh… Please don't hurt me?"

I see his muzzle and cute little ears settling in. I don't see the rest of his fur due to his clothes, but I know it's growing because of his squirming. Trying to free himself from the itching outfit.

"Why would I do that if you're being such an obedient pup?"

"I did laugh there, didn't I? Heh…"

Fluff is slowly pushing out of his shirt. He takes a good whiff and notices my musk, making him stir. He's enjoying this.

"Thaaat's it pup. Don't fight the urge. Laugh. No one cares if you enjoy yourself. Ha! Isn't it funny? You were all stuck up about this potential 'disease' while I'm having the time of my life!"

"Heh, I guess you're right. Can I bury my face in your chest?"

"Ah-ha! With pleasure!"

I squeeze him in a tight hug, right between my mighty arms. Somehow, he's even smaller than before. Makes me want to protect him. Never let go, he's too precious. I stand there for a while, embracing him. Feeling his fur brush up against mine. After a while, he mumbles something in my mighty chest. I give him some room to talk.

"Why did I fight against this? It's, heh, it's ironic, isn't it? How fearful I was. Of you. Of this so-called 'disease'."

"Sometimes you need time to process things"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Will you be by my side and never let go?"

"You think I'd want otherwise?"

"No, but if our pack grows, your attention will turn to others."

"Nah, I'd love you just as much. But I'll also love the others. We'll be a big family, we'll share."

Slowly but surely, the disgusting smells of perfumes and detergents get overpowered by earthy smells and musk. I sneeze the last remnants of those artificial smells away to bask in the scents of Pup's body and my own. His snout is still buried in my fur as I notice that the office isn't fully vacant.

Two small humans can't get their eyes off me. Probably former colleagues. They grin in their daze. Enraptured by the scene.

"We…" the first stammers.

"We want to join you!" the other interjects.

"And how will you do so?"

"I… I uh, don't know."

"Please tell us! We want to be like him!" The second one says, pointing at Pup, who has buried his face in my arm. Blissfully unaware that our little pack will become larger.

"Heh, you want to be like him." I pet Pup on the head. He moans in pleasure. Enraptured by the care and affection. "Have a strong man watch over you. Care for you. Protect you."

The first one squirms. The second nods eagerly.

"Ha! All you have to do is laugh!"

"Haaa. HAAAAaaa. HAAAA!" The nervous one forcedly bursts out. He looks around, standing awkwardly in silence.

"Nothing happened. Are you sure this works?" I stare him down intently.

"Heh, that's quite funny. Hey, dude, you ok?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You're hunching over. It's bad for your posture, you know."

"And so it begins…"

"Begins wha-" A loud crunch sounds through the office. Nervous boy should know what's happening to him now.

"Haa, haa. Yes! More~" Seems like Nervous boy is enjoying himself, he already has the muzzle and fur. He looks left and right, looking for something. When his eyes lay on the composed one, he goes wild.

"Come on! You're such a wuss!" He hugs the similarly sized human, egging on his transformation.

"No! Let me be! I want to do it myself!"

"But you don't have fur! Look at me! Feel the coarse hairs growing all over me!"

"But… But I don't…" Oho! The tables have turned! Now our mostly hyena-bodied wild one has the composed human flustered!

"I suppose I can… But then I… Ha?" Look at that poor widdle hyena, not even able to make a sentence. He's almost done, while his wild pack mate is already there! Wild does not relent and roams Nervous' furry body. Nervous is lithe with toned muscles, while Wild is much stockier. He takes Nervous' head in his hands and kisses him. Nervous stiffens. It seems he's considering his options until he reciprocates in return. They loudly kiss and caress each other, with lots of giggling in between, especially from Nervous.

"Having fun there Wild?" The two look up, broken out of their spell. Both lovebirds give me a curious look. Pup, still clinging to my arm, also looks at me expectantly. "Do you have something to share with the group?"

Two furry bodies crash into me, but I don't budge. It takes a lot more to topple me. All three little ones go wild, leaving no area of my body alone.

And with that, two more hyenas, both as small as Pup, joined the cuddle pile. Like I promised, I gave them just as much love as I did him. So much laughing between us. Such a close group we've become.