Yes, and thats why it takes like two hours to come to sleep every evening

That's way too relatable x.x

It's a real struggle, I used to be a more happy person, I show still myself from the outside more, but there's these specific times, when things push over. "Am I doing things right ?" "If people don't talk to me why bother having contact ?" "Whats the matter of getting up tomorrow, if life turns downsides anyways ?" "It's monday and you know you'll be doing same shit every day for the whole week, maybe just call in sick ?"

I keep pushing myself forward, I get out of bed, I've some nice work colleagues which I can exchange with. They make me smile, laugh and joy up over the day. My parents do as well but most lately they've become a emotional roller coaster for me as well. Due to personal likings which they can't support me in with. Despite their worries about me letting myself go here and there, they push me to do things and go under people I don't know or am not sure if I'll be able to feel comfortable with. Also when I go they usually end up calling me on the evening pushing me to come home due to my dog being a total mess because I'm not at home as she's used to and being attached to me due to her age of 14.

So yeah I pretty much can feel the picture and emotions you're struggling with. A lot of people struggle, they just won't show much of it.

Why this reminds me of the situation I just had with my mother? I felt like I was between two sets of gunfire, my mother said some stuff about my fiancée and she said stuff about my mother. Had hard time to deside who to believe. Things are good now and peace is between them

That is one of the worst nightmare scenarios...

:( Heavy feelings of this and more at the moment

🫂

The bottom fur.. the one that's reflecting being "alone".... that one, to me, hurts the worse.. Because I can relate on how it feels to think that one is alone.. that you have no one to hold and comfort you when you need it.
We all need that feeling, however brief in our lives, of security and safety in either someone's welcoming arms, or in a place that we know is ours and we are indeed, safe and won't be hurt.
Because once we have it, even if it doesn't stick around too long.. we KNOW we can find it again.. Either by ourselves or with the help of another.. but it will come back again. And when it does, that makes it all the stronger.

You're not alone sweet one.. even if it's just your fans.. we do care for you and when you cry, we cry... because so many of us can't be there to give you at least some security and try our hardest to make those feelings of hurt leave you alone for a while so your heart and mind can truly rest. Heaven knows we want to.... by all that we hold dear in our lives, WE WANT TO... but all we can do is give you what comfort we can by any means we have at our disposal.... which, again, so many of us feel and know it's just not enough. We always want to give more..

Please take what care and compassion you can from these words and hopes from myself and all of your watchers that are of a like mind; We want only good things for you as often as possible, and if we can do more, all you ever need to do is ask, and if we can

we will. "why?" Because in all our hearts.. we know that for no other reason; it's the RIGHT thing to do.

anxiety issues paying a visit.

My bedtime thoughts are often more like, "If I use matboard to replace the 0.030" plywood for end walls in the quonset hut model building kit, I could've money and reduce the price. But then matboard absorbs paint and can warp, so maybe pretreatment with a sealer, although the laser cutter might flare up with flames, so I'll need to adjust the air assist to compensate, and that might cause flutter of cut pieces needing uncut tabs in the framework but I could use light tack masking tape...

Just one long run on sentence of hobby model making thoughts that keeps me awake.

Also the cat, because housecats are evil and know when to be pests.

This is why I use background noise, whether it be classical, jazz, old quiz shows or what have you. Just a little music to drown out the voices... :)

I can be on the verge of falling sleep, but as soon as I get in bed, I am wide awake as all the anxious thoughts flood in. So I've taken to telling myself little bedtime stories in my head to distract from the voices. It doesn't fix the problem, but it usually lets me fall asleep with a more peaceful mindset.

Very relatable, Sorry if this is something you experience now. It know it's not an easy thing to deal with. **hugs**

Mood ><

I know that problem far too well

You always have these that hit really close to home...

Oh, yeah, I'm on a first name basis with these gremlins...

Welp, I'm in this picture and I defs don't like it. x.x

Totally my thought, too

I don't really sleep anymore. Just lie in bed til the sun comes up. I'm sure it's not healthy, but I haven't found a way to make my brain shut off.

getting stuck awake with those kinda intrusive thoughts would be nicer than just being stuck repeating a word like 'brisney' for like 3 hours XD... i've had that sorta thing happen ALOT... ( o_o)

-And the worst part is, you'll get even less of your much needed sleep the more you worry. Such is the cycle of getting caught up in those worries, or of depression.

*Sending good vibes of whatever sort you prefer.*

Basically my head, too. Got a few mental illnesses of my own and when it's okay, it's okay enough...then things flare and well...it's a lot less okay. I'm a stranger on the internet, I don't know you. But I value what you do and do care how you're doing. I hope that you are feeling better things soon (or at least less bad things).

*tries to comfort you*

I feel this, 100%.
Somedays, it's all I can do to just crawl outta bed and get up, face the day.

The alternative(s) however?

feels. BIG feels. and all too familiar.