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Having freed two of the captive dragons, Chris, Dave and Sean travel to San Diego to observe, plan and free the only remaining dragon, Aithsa. But it seems they aren't the only humans to have taken an interest in him, and this time they don't get to him first...
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Ahgahgagh I hate the play soooo much. It's not kid-friendly. It's not nice to Aithsa. It's all of five minutes long. It may have been the single most important thing to rewrite in this entire story, if I hadn't stopped changing things. And it's too bad, really, because the rest of the chapter is pretty good, but I just can't get past how dreadful that play is. >.<
Comments and critique (on things other than that damn play) greatly appreciated.
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Ahgahgagh I hate the play soooo much. It's not kid-friendly. It's not nice to Aithsa. It's all of five minutes long. It may have been the single most important thing to rewrite in this entire story, if I hadn't stopped changing things. And it's too bad, really, because the rest of the chapter is pretty good, but I just can't get past how dreadful that play is. >.<
Comments and critique (on things other than that damn play) greatly appreciated.
Category Story / All
Species Western Dragon
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 23.7 kB
Listed in Folders
Is it just me or does Aithsa always get the worse of everything? I just mean, he was the one who woke up to be there and hear the whole bidding thing, and now he gets shot in the tail! Bad karma or just evil humans?
Well, nice chapter, and I thought you made the play bad as a joke! ;P
Though the police really is kinda slow if they fail to show up after gunfire and firefights and two missing dragons(meaning they should be on high allert for the last one disapearing too). But hey, maybe they just took the 'day off'.
Well, nice chapter, and I thought you made the play bad as a joke! ;P
Though the police really is kinda slow if they fail to show up after gunfire and firefights and two missing dragons(meaning they should be on high allert for the last one disapearing too). But hey, maybe they just took the 'day off'.
Well, your play (yes I dare writing about it!) wasn't that bad. Just the cliche-thinking of everyone in the world what they see in dragons in a childlike theatre. Seriously, in a real theatre they kill each other too even when the story is meant to be kid friendly. Still he is a child after all. It only adds to your characters personalities and it made me really feel like that isn't one of the bad-ass dragons but a kid that just wants to have some fun in a bad incident. Don't feel so bad for writing that^^
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