Nell is a pudgy silver dragon who lives in a human village and has a love for "Dutch oven" pranks. Things get more than a little stinky when he decides to show a friend how it's done.
Featuring the return of everyone's favorite plump purple dragon... Edam!

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Silver Sitter

The dragon giggled and purred as he rubbed his big bottom on the teenage human. The human shouted with disgust as the stinky reptile scooted his backside around on him, smearing his shirt with dung. The dragon continued to gently rub his silvery butt on the young human, cleaning the filth from around his tail hole, purring kindly all the while. When he was finished a few moments later, he hoisted himself up off the teenager and turned around and smiled. The befouled human groaned at the dirty dragon as he saw that his clothes were smeared all over with fresh dragon poop. The dragon smirked and then fell into a fit of giggles, his big belly jiggling a little as he laughed at his messy fun.
“Nell, bad dragon! You’ve got poop all over my clothes…” the human grimaced as he touched the side of his face, “You even got it on my cheek, you filthy reptile! You are truly one of the most disgusting dragons I’ve ever seen.”
Nell’s silver, frilly ears drooped and he frowned morosely.
“It was just a prank,” he whined, “I didn’t mean to make you angry. It comes out with soap and water, you know.”
“That’s… that’s not the point!” the human snapped back, “You…I…and… urrrg!”
The human stomped off in a huff, leaving the dragon standing there somewhat confused.
Nell found that this would still happen on occasion. He’d prank someone, he’d smile and laugh to show him or her it was just a gross joke, and instead of shaking their head and smiling back at him, they’d shout at him and walk off angrily. Nell found that older adults and some female humans were more likely to act this way, while many adolescent and male humans found him somewhat funny. Children found him funny, too, and liked to slide down his back for fun, but he never pranked them, because he was afraid of frightening or hurting them. Even given all these factors, he still found it very difficult to predict how any particular human would react to his mischief. It seemed that even after living amongst humans for several years, he still didn’t understand them as well as he would like.
Nell had unofficially moved into the small village about five years ago, after spending several months getting to know the residents. He was at that age where dragons are fascinated by humans and find them fun and exciting. The villagers, being used to dragons, hadn’t minded him staying too much at first, although Nell had grown to be something of the annoying cousin figure you put up with around the holidays but don’t necessarily really dislike, per se, except when they do something that gets on your nerves, which seems to happen too often. Nell, like many dragons his age, enjoyed having stinky fun with humans, and living in a village populated with them gave him the opportunity to prank them on a daily basis. The villagers had become used to Nell’s rude sense of humor, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t scolded every now and then.
In particular, Nell found that the villagers would get very upset if he decided to poop while flying overhead of them. He would also get yelled at for passing gas while in a crowd, such as during festivals or parades. Being a dragon, Nell’s farts were much bigger than those of many other species, and his human friends did not appreciate the smell when walking downwind. It certainly didn’t help that he was naturally flatulent due to his dragon physiology or that the villagers were always cooking beans and grilling sausages, both of which were some of Nell’s most favorite foods. Since Nell had grown to be a part of the community, they would usually share some food with him. Nell also had an appetite for chili, but that was available less often, so he usually just settled for baked beans, which were almost always being prepared somewhere.
Due to the abundance of human food like beans and bacon and cheeses, and the lack of a need to go hunting (which some of his dragon friends reprimanded him about, and he would sometimes accompany them to show him he hadn’t forgotten how), Nell had grown quite fat during his stay in the village. His silver belly was round and pudgy, his front and hind legs were like small logs, and his thick tail draped over an enormous and plump silvery dragon rump. He wasn’t embarrassed about his weight, and the other dragons found it hilarious that Nell’s bottom was large enough to just barely sit on two humans at the same time! (Though he really only did this to show off). Nell didn’t mind the extra weight, and enjoyed the extra fun it sometimes added to his pranks. He liked to pretend to get his backside stuck in doorways or narrow alleys and then fart in peoples’ faces as they tried to get him unstuck. Of course, sometimes this happened for real, too, so he tried not to squeeze through too many tight spaces.
As far as pranks went, Nell loved a variety of stinky games. He of course enjoyed the old sit n’ fart, complimented nicely by his extra butt blubber, which he liked squishing against his comfy human cushions. He enjoyed backing his “wide load” up against a human and pinning them lightly against a wall before sharing some gas. He was a big fan of the classic “pull my claw” (thought to be the oldest of all dragon fart jokes), and he enjoyed sitting and rocking backwards after someone gave his front claw a tug, holding both his hind legs and breaking wind loudly from his huge hindquarters. And, most recently, thanks to a purple dragon that had visited the village to play with his human friend and had showed him the technique, he had grown quite fond of grabbing humans with his big tail and pressing them into his rump-fat before blasting gas from his tail hole onto their faces.
But Nell’s most favorite prank was the Dutch oven. Celebrated among the adolescent dragons as an exciting new way to gas their human friends, the Dutch oven had recently grown to be an extremely popular prank. No one was entirely sure as to who came up with the idea, although it was thought it might have been developed by accident when a human was sleeping alongside a dragon in his cave and the two were sharing a large quilt for warmth, since it was the middle of winter. The dragon had pulled the quilt about him, getting warm and cozy, and had accidentally pulled the covering entirely over his friend. Just as he had realized his mistake and was pulling the quilt away to apologize, he needed to vent some flatulence, so he instinctively did so. His human friend complained that the stink had filled the covering, “like heat fills an oven where bread is baked.” The boy’s name was supposedly “Dutch” and thusly the prank came to be known as “Dutch’s oven”, though many dragons dropped the “s”. This, of course, was just a rumor, since no one knew for sure.
Nell had devised an excellent way to perform the Dutch oven, and he had practiced many a time. Since he was on such friendly terms with everyone in the village, he was allowed to sleep over at anyone’s house (provided the windows were kept open in the room where he was staying). He would wait until his human friend had fallen asleep, gently pull the covers up over their heads, and make a crease in the side of the sheets so they could still get some air. Then, he would pull up the other side of the covers, and turning around, he would slowly back up and carefully place his tail and bottom under the sheets, then let rip as loud and as long as he could. He enjoyed pinning the human lightly with his tubby tail and passing gas nice and slow. He loved wiggling his rump into the sheets so his stinky anus was right in the human’s face and releasing warm trumpets of dragon gas. He also had begun to perfect a technique of which he was confident no other dragon had thought: he would use his tail to flip his human friend over before using it to pull his friend against his pudgy silver butt and giving them some warm face farts.
In short, Nell was a master of the new Dutch oven. He had impressed the other dragons with displays of his technique (much to the displeasure of his human friends), and was something of a legend among the mountain-dwelling reptiles. He had even begun to teach his dragon friends how to properly perform a successful Dutch oven, although it was very hard to find human volunteers for the lessons. One time, he had even successfully attempted the impossible: a double-dragon-Dutch-oven-supreme, which had involved an orange dragon of similar mass, a collection of blankets and pillows in a cellar, and a human friend who had been able to be convinced that he could help make history. He had not been told how, and was still quite upset that his bed sheets had been ruined, despite the fact that Nell and the orange dragon gave him many cuddly hugs afterwards.
Today, Nell had been called on yet again to perform his educational services, which he was quite happy to provide at no charge, save for a large pot of beans for him and his pupil. He owed his friend this favor anyway, this being the same dragon that had showed him how to grab humans with his tail when he had visited the village four months ago. They were comfortably seated on their human friends, Nell on top of Ryan and Edam on one of Nell’s good friends named Stephan.
“So, I haven’t seen you around much for a while, Ryan,” Nell said, wiggling his smelly rump over the human’s face, “Where have you been?”
“My father came to visit last month from overseas, so I’ve been spending as much time with him as possible,” Ryan explained, his voice slightly muffled under all of Nell’s silvery butt-blubber. The top of his head poked out from beneath the dragon’s tail; Nell was sitting on him in the common fashion, his tail hole hovering just over his face so he could get a little fresh air from the sides, while the rest of his body was smooshed gently under the reptile’s rump. Edam sat on Stephan in a similar manner. “He left two weeks ago, so I’ve been able to visit with Edam again.”
“And I’ve been visiting Ryan here,” Edam said, a noisy “frrrrrttt!” leaving his anus onto Stephan’s face.
“Whew! You stink as much as Nell!” Stephen said, and Edam giggled.
“And your butt’s as dirty as Edam’s,” Ryan teased Nell, “Although I’ve been under it plenty of times in the past.”
Edam and Nell laughed as the silver dragon rewarded Ryan’s observation with a very deep fart.
“So, when are you going to teach me about that ‘special technique’ like you promised?” Edam asked Nell, farting some more.
“You mean Dutch’s oven?” Nell asked, blasting some more gas on Ryan, “I will in a little while, I promise. Though we have to wait until later, because it’s not as fun in the afternoon.”
“What is this ‘Dutch oven’?” Ryan asked, as Nell let another “pffffrrrrtt!” in his face, “Ugghhh, phew! This is the first I’ve heard of it.”
“Dutch’s oven,” Nell corrected him, another fart bubbling out, “And you’ll see later tonight.” He was one of the dragons who believed firmly in the rumor.
“What is it, Stephan?” Ryan asked, as Edam let a loud “POOT!” in the boy’s face.
“Ugh! Sorry, Nell made me promise not to tell, or he’d use me as toilet paper after each poop for a whole day,” Stephan said, “And believe me… one time is too many!”
“You can use people as toilet paper?!” Edam said, gas billowing from his tush in excited astonishment, “Guess what I’m doing later, Ryan!” Edam fell into a fit of laughter, and Stephan grimaced and complained as a series of “poot…frrt…frraatt”s were released rapidly in his face.
“Guess what some dragon’s not doing later if they don’t want to lose cheese for a whole week?” Ryan warned his friend.
“Aww… you’re no fun, Ryan,” Edam frowned, a long and airy gas bubble slowly leaving his butt hole. Stephen squirmed as the rank warmth blew over his face.
“Yeah, that’s not nice,” Nell said, grunting and blasting a deep fart from his tubby tush to admonish his friend, “Although that probably wasn’t either!” Nell sniffed the gas, “Yep, that’s gonna stink!” he laughed, his belly jiggling a little.
Edam laughed as Nell let a series of wet gas bubbles on his human friend, causing Ryan to shout and squirm beneath the fat dragon’s rear.
“That’ll teach you to be mean to poor Edam,” Nell teased, playfully wiggling his rotund rump over Ryan’s face. He sat for a moment before letting a long, wet “Pbbbbllrrrrrttt!” on Ryan, leaning forward a bit as the gas bubbled out for a full five seconds. “Ahhhh…I’ve had that one in my butt for a while,” Nell sighed and laughed, as Edam fell into more gassy laughter, “I was wondering when it was gonna come out.”
“That was pretty nice, but I bet I could go even bigger!” Edam challenged his friend, “We should have a farting contest!”
“I really wish you wouldn’t,” Stephan groaned beneath the purple posterior.
“I don’t think I want to smell another blast like that one,” Ryan said, lying there in the smelly, lingering warmth of Nell’s fantastic fart.
“Go ahead and let it out if you need to,” Nell advised the other dragon, “But don’t exhaust all your exhaust, ‘cause you’ll need plenty of gas for Dutch’s oven tonight.”
“I don’t see why it has to be at night,” Ryan said, trying to breathe through his mouth, “I’ve smelt plenty of dragon flatulence from Edam’s backside as he sleeps, and it doesn’t smell any different than it does during the day.”
“You’ll see,” Nell said cryptically as he wiggled his dirty butt hole in Ryan’s face.
“FFFFFRRRRAAATTTT!” Edam blasted a juicy six-second stink over poor Stephan, sighing with relief as he expelled a profound amount of dragon wind, “Ahhhh… I win! Mine was longer!” the purple reptile declared proudly.
“Yeah, but Nell’s smells worse,” Ryan said.
“I doubt it, just wait till your dragon’s fart cloud spreads a little,” Stephan replied.
The two reptiles sat on their human friends a few moments longer until their gassy stenches had ceased to linger, playfully wiggling their rears so the teenagers could get a whiff of their tail holes, and then lumbered up off of the befouled boys. Turning around, Edam and Nell each wrapped the humans in a friendly, purring embrace. Nell smiled as Ryan petted him and Edam purred more deeply as Stephan ruffled his frilly ears. They cuddled the humans to them for a moment or two before setting them down.
“Well, I’d better get along, I have to be at the tailor’s to help my father,” Stephen said, “It was nice meeting you Edam… although I’m not sure how I’m going to explain the stench.” Edam assured him the feeling was mutual, and Stephan waved good-bye and left.
“I’d better get home and make sure my mother doesn’t need me for anything, although she never really does,” Ryan said, “I’ll meet up with you for dinner, Edam?”
“Sounds good,” Edam said, as Ryan began heading home.
“Hold on!” Nell called after him, “I’ll fly you back if you want.”
“No thanks, it’s not that far at all,” Ryan said, departing.
Nell flapped his wings to go survey the village but Edam stopped him.
“Wait, where do I meet up with you for the prank?” he asked his friend.
“Later tonight, outside Ryan’s house, and you might have a little extra beans at dinner,” Nell told him, and flew off.

“Okay, so what do we do now?” Edam asked Nell as they stood outside Ryan’s house later that evening.
“Just follow me,” Nell reassured him, as he opened the front door and squeezed himself through. His huge hindquarters got stuck for a moment, but he wriggled until his butt slid through the doorway with a slight “pop!”
Edam cocked his scaly head to the side in confusion, but followed his silver friend. He was a little fat (less so than Nell) but had gotten plenty of practice slipping through Ryan’s doorway when he’d come to visit him before.
Inside the house, all was quiet, as both Ryan and his Mom were asleep. Nell and Edam crept across the kitchen towards Ryan’s room, when Ryan’s mother came out of her bedroom holding a candle and staring at the two dragons with bleary eyes.
“Oh, hello Nell, Edam,” she said when she recognized them, “What are you two doing here so late? Are you here to see Ryan?”
“Yes, Mrs. Ryan’s Mom,” Edam said, “We just came to spend the night.”
“Oh, alright, do you want me to go get him for you? I think he’s probably asleep by now…” her voice trailed off dazedly.
“No, that’s okay,” Nell reassured her, “You can just go back to bed, and we’ll get him ourselves.”
“Alright, then, goodnight you two,” she said, and turned around to head off back to bed.
“Who goes to bed at ten o’clock?” Nell asked.
“Humans, I guess,” Edam replied, “Ryan always gets kinda sleepy early.”
The two reptiles made their way as quietly as possible into Ryan’s bedroom, carefully squeezing through the doorway. There they found him peacefully asleep, lying on his side with the covers pulled up to his neck. Although the two huge reptiles took up almost the entire space, they had just enough room to maneuver for the prank.
“Aww, he’s always so cute when he sleeps,” Edam purred.
“I know, that’s why I like sleeping with humans,” Nell agreed.
“So… are you going to show me the prank now?” Edam asked.
“Yeah… here we go,” Nell said, “Now, watch very carefully.”
The dragon crept quietly over to Ryan’s bed and used one of his front claws to carefully and gently pull the covers over the sleeping teen’s head. He made a crease in the side of the blanket closest to the window to make an opening for Ryan to get air, and then he lifted up the edge of the blanket closest to himself. He creased this opening slightly so it would remain stable, then he turned tail and began to slowly and carefully edge his massive hindquarters under the sheets, his tail resting across Ryan’s chest.
Edam watched, his head cocked to the side in confusion as the dragon made the creases, then stifled his laughter as Nell introduced his bottom to the blankets.
“Now, watch and learn, buddy,” Nell said. He smiled and raised his scaly “eyebrows” as a warm, wet fart sputtered noisily from his tail hole and into the space beneath the covers, filling the blankets with the stench of dragon farts.
Ryan opened his eyes and blinked them a few times as he lay there in the smelly warmth, seeing the scaly silver tail on his chest. It took him a minute before he realized what was going on. Nell blasted another fart, a burst of gas this time, “frrrrrtttt!”
“Gross, what’s going on here?” came Ryan’s voice from under the covers, “Nell, this better not be your gassy butt!”
Nell and Edam both started giggling. A few sharp poots burst from Nell’s butt hole over Ryan.
“Watch this!” Nell said. He lightly pressed his tubby tail down on Ryan, and then wiggled his rump deeper into the sheets, until his anus was next to the human’s face. He then inhaled a little before blasting a noisy “Ppppbrrraaaattt!” all over poor Ryan. Nell and Edam laughed heartily as the warm stink billowed through the sheets and began to seep out to fill the room.
“We should probably open a window!” Edam giggled, fanning the air with his claw, then leaning over the bed to unlatch the window, “You alright in there Ryan? Nell’s farts are pretty stinky, huh?”
“Edam, is that you? I’m not very happy that you wiped your big butt on me earlier!” Ryan squirmed, trying to get away from the smelly silver rump that was busy supplying him with a little airy gas, “What are you guys doing?” Nell farted loudly, and giggled. “Nell, will you please get your stinky rear out of my face?”
“Hee, hee, but this is how you play Dutch’s oven!” Nell said, “I fart on you under the covers!”
“I don’t like this game very much,” Ryan groaned as he lay there in the warm cloud of dragon farts, “It’s really disgusting!”
“But it’s really fun!” Edam objected, “Besides, its my turn next!”
“What, no!” Ryan shouted, “I’ve smelt enough of Nell’s gas for this evening, thanks!”
“I have one more technique to show Edam, then it’s his turn to try,” Nell said, then turning to Edam, “Now… I have you to thank for showing me how to do this next one!”
Nell wrapped his big tail around Ryan, flipped him over, and pulled him gently so his face was pressed up against his big scaly silver butt. Then he sighed as warm, airy gas blew long and windy from his tail hole into Ryan’s face. The human squirmed and complained.
“Nell!” Ryan shouted, “That’s enough! If you keep farting, you’re gonna ruin the bed!”
“Okay, okay,” Nell said, letting Ryan go. He laughed and blew one last “Frrrraaattt!” into the blankets before removing his fat bottom.
“Your turn, Edam!” Nell said with a smile.
“Aww, poor Ryan’s gonna be sooo stinky!” Edam said with a giggle, “Maybe I should do it some other time…”
“Thanks, Edam,” Ryan sighed with relief, pulling the covers off of him to get some fresh air. He fanned the air rapidly to help dissipate the awful warm stench.
“No, you have to play Dutch’s oven!” Nell insisted, “This is why we came here, so I could teach you!”
“Well…” Edam cocked his head to the side for a moment in thought.
“Edam…” Ryan said, “Be a good dragon…”
“Okay!” Edam said, hopping towards Ryan and pulling the sheets over him, he turned in one swift motion to pin him with his tail. He proceeded to wiggle his purple posterior under the sheets and into his friend’s face.
“Whoa! You’re a natural!” Nell said with disbelief, “I can’t believe you managed to do that without him being asleep!”
“Hee, hee, I guess I’m just good at this!” Edam giggled, providing his human friend with a warm trumpeting burst of gas.
“Edam, bad dragon, that’s gross!” Ryan squirmed.
“It’s okay Ryan,” Edam said, “I only want a little practice. I won’t fart on you too much.”
The purple dragon wrapped his tail around his friend and pulled Ryan against his huge hindquarters. His bowels grumbled loudly.
“Uh-oh,” said the dragon, “I think I might have spoken a little too soon…”
“FFFFFFRRRRAAAATTTT!” an enormous, echoing fart burst from the dragon’s tail hole into poor Ryan’s face. Edam powerful pooter lasted for nearly eight seconds, and stunk up the whole room. Poor Ryan was trapped in the stench and warmth beneath the sheets as the gas blasted from his friend’s stinky rear. The sheets inflated slightly as the fart continued, then deflated as the gas spilled out the sides.
“Ugghh, Edam…” Ryan groaned, “No more beans for you…”
“Sorry, that was much, much bigger than I thought it would be,” Edam said, though he couldn’t help laughing. Nell was rolling on the floor, his belly jiggling as he gasped for air from laughing so hard.
Edam withdrew his butt from the blankets and let Ryan come out from under the covers. Nell and Edam both went over to give Ryan cuddly hugs. They smiled and purred as they apologized for being so stinky. Ryan shook his head as he hugged his scaly friends back.
“I think I’d probably better have these sheets washed after all that flatulence,” Ryan said. He yawned. “I’d probably be more upset with you two if I wasn’t so tired.”
“Sorry, buddy,” Nell said, “We were just having fun. Please don’t get too angry, okay?” Edam helped clear the stink by flapping his wings, and Nell joined him.
“No, I’ve been farted on by both of you two plenty of times before,” Ryan said, “Although that is probably one of the grossest ways I’ve ever had a dragon fart on me.”
Edam and Nell both giggled then yawned widely.
“All that fun wore me out,” Nell said, “I know we kinda stunk up your room, but is it okay if we spend the night here?”
“Oh, alright, but only because I like you guys,” Ryan said, “But you both have to promise you’ll sleep with your butts facing away from me.”
“I don’t think we’ll have much more gas at all after all that,” Edam said.
“I’m not taking any chances when it comes to a dragon’s capacity for flatulence,” Ryan said.
“Okay, we promise,” Nell said, and Edam agreed. The two huge reptiles lay down, their hindquarters facing the door, away from Ryan’s bed, and made themselves comfortable.
Ryan smiled and lay back down, turning the blankets inside out to try and help deal with the smell for the time being.
“Hey, Ryan,” Edam asked, “How come my huge fart didn’t wake up your Mom?”
“Oh, when she finally falls asleep she can sleep through just about anything,” Ryan said, “Probably even an explosion.”
“I think that was probably the equivalent in farts,” Edam giggled. The two dragons laughed.
Nell laid his head on his fore-claws and purred as he began to drift to sleep. It had certainly been a wonderful day and he was hard pressed to remember the last time he’d had such a fun Dutch oven. Edam was certainly talented, so maybe they should do a double one sometime? Nell smiled to himself as he had a great idea.
“I think I know how we should wake Ryan up tomorrow morning…” he whispered to Edam.