You weigh the pokeball in your paw.

Who knows where your friend got it, but it's a master ball. There could be literally any pokemon inside, friendly or otherwise. And there's only one way that you're going to find out. Taking in an excited breath, you open the ball and let it fall to the floor.

When the red mist clears, an anthropomorphic growlithe sits on the ground in front of you, frontpaws between his legs. He looks up at you with wide eyes.

Oh hell no. This is all kinds of shades of illegal.

"You're not Marcus," the growlithe says.

"Who's Marcus?"

"My ex boyfriend." The growlith rolls his eyes at the memory. "I said I was leaving him, and the airhead threw a master ball at my back. They're not kidding about that 100% catch rate."

No shit. No, you can't say that. "Can I uh, get you something? Some food?"

"Not hungry. Pokeballs handle all that." He stands up, stretching one arm over his head before reaching out a paw to shake. "Name's Lilac."

You start to introduce yourself but he cuts you off.

"And besides, you saved me. I should be the one offering to get you something."

"That's really o-"

Lilac cuts you off again. "How long have I been in there?"

"Fuck if I know. What year do you think it is?"

"Well, it felt like I was in there for a few months. . . That'd make it 1986?"

Shit.

~~~

One of my friends told me if I were a pokemon I'd be a growlithe and my paw slipped.