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Life's A Chibi: Words can hurt
The words we choose to say can have so much power in any situation. They have the power to heal or to harm others around us. Just one word can make someone feel happy and comforted while another can make someone feel hurt and agitated. Everyone has a different tolerance and viewpoint to what someone says – either due to language difference, educational background, or upbringing. What we say may sound harmless to our own ears, but someone else can hear what is said as something completely different. There is a reason why we must choose the words we use before we speak as they can have different effects to others.
Some people don't care what they say to others. They speak their mind without a filter – not holding anything back to anyone. They know that what they say could hurt someone without any regards to how the other might feel, just to get their point across. If the recipient feels attack or becomes angry due to what the other said to them, the one who spoke would feel that what they said was justified and would blame the other for reacting negatively, even if the one speaking was using words and phrases that would heavily effect the other's emotions in a bad way. They believe that they have the right to offend people and get away with it.
People are entitled to speak their mind and to describe their thoughts and viewpoints about how they feel. However, that doesn't mean we can say whatever we want without a filter and expect what we say not to have consequences. You have the right to say what you want to say, and people have the right to respond to it in what they feel is justified. We need to be careful how we choose our words, tone and structure. Not everyone will agree with what you are saying or seeing. If your viewpoint contains negative and violent tendencies, people will react negatively to it. Treat your words like water: calm tones and words create small ripples. Harsh tones and words create larger waves. If someone takes what you said the wrong way and they are reacting negatively towards you, but yet that wasn't your intention, then its your responsibility to explain yourself.
Always best to think before you speak. Your words define who and what type of person you are.
artwork © 2024 Alex Cockburn
Some people don't care what they say to others. They speak their mind without a filter – not holding anything back to anyone. They know that what they say could hurt someone without any regards to how the other might feel, just to get their point across. If the recipient feels attack or becomes angry due to what the other said to them, the one who spoke would feel that what they said was justified and would blame the other for reacting negatively, even if the one speaking was using words and phrases that would heavily effect the other's emotions in a bad way. They believe that they have the right to offend people and get away with it.
People are entitled to speak their mind and to describe their thoughts and viewpoints about how they feel. However, that doesn't mean we can say whatever we want without a filter and expect what we say not to have consequences. You have the right to say what you want to say, and people have the right to respond to it in what they feel is justified. We need to be careful how we choose our words, tone and structure. Not everyone will agree with what you are saying or seeing. If your viewpoint contains negative and violent tendencies, people will react negatively to it. Treat your words like water: calm tones and words create small ripples. Harsh tones and words create larger waves. If someone takes what you said the wrong way and they are reacting negatively towards you, but yet that wasn't your intention, then its your responsibility to explain yourself.
Always best to think before you speak. Your words define who and what type of person you are.
artwork © 2024 Alex Cockburn
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1024 x 952px
File Size 529.4 kB
Listed in Folders
Treat with kindness and give with patience, love and compassion whenever possible;
there will always be a time when harsh words are not only a necessity, but more so when someone comes up to you and for no apparent reason, wants to threaten you ( for whatever misguided reason they feel is applicable)
In those times, one must be prepared to take action *BUT*
UNTIL that time happens... give to others around you with verbal kindness and soft gentless.. and make their lives a little less unhappy.
Do this for as long as you can breathe.. because in the end, one hopes that the 'disease of kindness of the heart"... will spread like a plague. One this poor little world is in desperate need of catching from one end to the other of it's people and their minds.
there will always be a time when harsh words are not only a necessity, but more so when someone comes up to you and for no apparent reason, wants to threaten you ( for whatever misguided reason they feel is applicable)
In those times, one must be prepared to take action *BUT*
UNTIL that time happens... give to others around you with verbal kindness and soft gentless.. and make their lives a little less unhappy.
Do this for as long as you can breathe.. because in the end, one hopes that the 'disease of kindness of the heart"... will spread like a plague. One this poor little world is in desperate need of catching from one end to the other of it's people and their minds.
It feels to me like there's this idea that, just because words don't hurt AS MUCH as physical harm, that they don't hurt at all. Even if it's not in the form of bullying, it's fundamental to bullying: "how much can I get away with without actually breaking any rules? I didn't actually do anything, I just SAID things, things not everyone agrees with, it wasn't my fault."
*They don't hurt as VISIBLY as physical harm
Moreover so, the most insidious thing, a fate worse than death, that you can do to a human? Neglect. And that's doing no physical harm and saying nothing at all. We've just been deluded into thinking that, if it isn't physical pain, it's lesser. But physical pain gives you a substrate to hold on to, someone or something that took an action against you, in the flesh, to rail against. Words don't give you quite the same grip, and so they take power away from you in a very different way- one that's much harder to claw back.
Moreover so, the most insidious thing, a fate worse than death, that you can do to a human? Neglect. And that's doing no physical harm and saying nothing at all. We've just been deluded into thinking that, if it isn't physical pain, it's lesser. But physical pain gives you a substrate to hold on to, someone or something that took an action against you, in the flesh, to rail against. Words don't give you quite the same grip, and so they take power away from you in a very different way- one that's much harder to claw back.
I don't know, as much as it echoes the anecdote, it has been my experience. Words have never hurt me as much as the fists of bullies at school nor the belt back home. People have called me all manner of thing and it's never stirred a single twinge. Yes, experiences vary, but when you realize what actual pain is you learn that words only have as much power as what you give them, and I chose a long time ago that words will have no more power over me as the consequences that come with ignoring them (i.e. not listening to your boss when they tell you to do something). And it's really easy to ignore those who want words to be weapons, those words are as empty as their threats.
That's your perspective, but that doesn't stop the power language has over people. We're all more complex than that in different ways. What upsets some people doesn't upset others, that doesn't invalidate either persons feelings. There are some words that don't bother me personally, but there are others that definitely hit buttons. Saying that I 'let' those words hurt me implies a level of emotion not everyone shares. What words affect us more changes dramatical when other factors get involved.
As I said, experiences vary. But in the end it is, indeed, you who gives words power. Both your own words as well as the words of others. If you don't give those words power, they won't have any. Angry words are only angry words until the first punch is thrown. Hurtful words are only hurtful if they cause pain. There's something to be said about recognizing what actually causes us pain, and the edge of a table in the dark causes me more pain than the mountains of slurs and curses that's been slung at me over the course of decades. Though, again, experiences vary.
When I here the same words from people around me for a while, they kinda manifest this voice in my mind, that takes a mind of it's own.
If you grew up and have been judged harshly by others mainly my parents all my life. And those words can become a monster or a guardian angel. Depending on rather it was negative or positive.
The stress and emotional pain from words can echo throughout yourself even if those neigh-sayers aren't there. And it can emotionally traumatize someone and manifest into actual physical effects.
I have chronic-abdominal pains that seem to come from nothing, despite all the examinations I got, no doctor could spot the source of it. But it's likely a web of emotional things that causing it.
Words CAN hurt... uu
If you grew up and have been judged harshly by others mainly my parents all my life. And those words can become a monster or a guardian angel. Depending on rather it was negative or positive.
The stress and emotional pain from words can echo throughout yourself even if those neigh-sayers aren't there. And it can emotionally traumatize someone and manifest into actual physical effects.
I have chronic-abdominal pains that seem to come from nothing, despite all the examinations I got, no doctor could spot the source of it. But it's likely a web of emotional things that causing it.
Words CAN hurt... uu
I have problems if I say something that gets misinterpreted, a lot of the time when you try and explain yourself you get pushback too.. And things only get worse and worse..
"You said 'x'!" "No.. I didn't say that.. I said 'y'.. I never said 'x'.." *becomes huge argument*
People on both sides refuse to acknowledge that they can be wrong.. And if you upset someone unintentionally, the one who is upset will often refuse to accept that you didn't MEAN to upset them (And I'm not talking about insults), so you end up being the bad guy and wrong no matter what.. :(
"You said 'x'!" "No.. I didn't say that.. I said 'y'.. I never said 'x'.." *becomes huge argument*
People on both sides refuse to acknowledge that they can be wrong.. And if you upset someone unintentionally, the one who is upset will often refuse to accept that you didn't MEAN to upset them (And I'm not talking about insults), so you end up being the bad guy and wrong no matter what.. :(
I started to be a stoic because i'm sick and tired how some people are. If people attack your personality in the name of vertue, those words should have no value. Yes, those words hurt you but also because you are not used to it. Also here are some wisdoms i want to share with you:
-Don't be like your enemy.
-Choose to act in kindness but don't expect people to react rationaly.
-Don't let others people's anger ruin your inner peace.
-Don't be like your enemy.
-Choose to act in kindness but don't expect people to react rationaly.
-Don't let others people's anger ruin your inner peace.
See, that's one of the strange things about the freedom of speech that people don't quite understand.
Yes, it means that even the most vile people can spew their shit... but the fact that they are able to do so does ultimately mean that they're known. Also, just because they can say what they want doesn't mean someone else won't come along and lay them flat (ideally still alive, but with a bloody nose, can't have people being murdered over this stuff).
But I think we can all agree that the most ideal situation is one where people can speak freely and have open debate about a subject. Because that's how healthy societies function. If only one side is allowed to speak, and the other is silenced, then you don't have a free society, you have a totalitarian one.
Yes, it means that even the most vile people can spew their shit... but the fact that they are able to do so does ultimately mean that they're known. Also, just because they can say what they want doesn't mean someone else won't come along and lay them flat (ideally still alive, but with a bloody nose, can't have people being murdered over this stuff).
But I think we can all agree that the most ideal situation is one where people can speak freely and have open debate about a subject. Because that's how healthy societies function. If only one side is allowed to speak, and the other is silenced, then you don't have a free society, you have a totalitarian one.
Whenever I'm a jerk to someone or say something mean, it's because they kinda deserved it, and sometimes I may slip with my tone. 99% of the time I don't mean to be an asshole. Words hurt, and some people have weaknesses. If I say something that upsets you, just say it does. I'll apologize as best as I can.
People who feel the need to bring others down haven't learned to love themselves.
Everyone has pain in their lives in some form. Some people choose to let it control them and some choose to help it understand the pain others go through and support others while loving themselves.
Everyone has pain in their lives in some form. Some people choose to let it control them and some choose to help it understand the pain others go through and support others while loving themselves.
no, it's not the receiver's fault.
some comments at times are made to try to help someone that re going through something. But some other people just use some words like bullies to try to get themselves feel better...and that's not normal.
physical or emotional bullies aren't something that should be going around and left happening...that's why you need people there to help you in those cases...
some comments at times are made to try to help someone that re going through something. But some other people just use some words like bullies to try to get themselves feel better...and that's not normal.
physical or emotional bullies aren't something that should be going around and left happening...that's why you need people there to help you in those cases...
The problem with this concept for me is that sometimes, you don't know what will hurt someone, or someone can reach a very vulnerable state where *anything* you say, no matter how careful and measured you are, will be taken as harmful. This hasn't happened to me much, because I'm somewhat introverted and after a few times of trying not to be harmful while communicating, only to get a violent reaction in return, I've just stopped trying at all.
An example is here on FA: I saw something I didn't understand, and asked about it. How did it come about and other things. I got rather rudely told to 'go do a google search for it' and when I apologized for maybe ruffling some feathers? ...they blocked me. I will never understand what it was I said that got this response, but now I tend to just not ask questions here.
Also, oddly enough, words *are* weapons. Taking this image as an example, that person on the floor, rather than laying there and getting beaten, should be taking some bats out of the same box and swinging right back in return. They could even use a more sophisticated set of 'bats' to defend themselves from the harm being done, rather than lying there and taking it. But that could just be my take on it.
In any case, the final point is a good one. Think before you speak, and be considerate of those around you. The world ruffles enough feathers automatically; no one needs to add to that sort of thing.
An example is here on FA: I saw something I didn't understand, and asked about it. How did it come about and other things. I got rather rudely told to 'go do a google search for it' and when I apologized for maybe ruffling some feathers? ...they blocked me. I will never understand what it was I said that got this response, but now I tend to just not ask questions here.
Also, oddly enough, words *are* weapons. Taking this image as an example, that person on the floor, rather than laying there and getting beaten, should be taking some bats out of the same box and swinging right back in return. They could even use a more sophisticated set of 'bats' to defend themselves from the harm being done, rather than lying there and taking it. But that could just be my take on it.
In any case, the final point is a good one. Think before you speak, and be considerate of those around you. The world ruffles enough feathers automatically; no one needs to add to that sort of thing.
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