Along the Boulevard
© 2024 by Walter Reimer
Thumbnail art by
turnbolt
The paladin, mage and rogue hung back, not wanting to get caught in the mass of pantsless citizenry who were headed up the broad avenue toward the Mistress’ palace. Despite all of them wearing something below the waist, the three adventurers were trying to be inconspicuous.
Varan’s hand tightened on her mage’s staff. “Guards coming,” she said brusquely. Vesan had seen the Clowns as well, a pair of them accompanied by a mephit Jester. The skunk was smiling happily, and the Clowns had their dildo truncheons resting casually on their shoulders. “We should step into a shop to avoid being spotted.”
“Good idea,” Vesan said, and she pointed. “There.”
The sign over the wide doorway said that the establishment was the Happy Full Belly Restaurant. Without pausing, the trio moved inside to see a half-dozen feral rat-sized kobolds wearing white uniforms and wielding brooms industriously sweeping the floor while several people sat eating at a long table near the entrance.
Meredith felt something hit her hoof and she looked down at one kobold who took his cigar from between his teeth and said, “Move it, sister. We gotta clean up in here.” He shoved his broom against her hoof a few times to drive the point home.
“Oh. Excuse me,” and the paladin took a step to the left. The kobold went about his business, puffing noxious clouds of smoke from his cigar and muttering about “filthy Biggers.”
Meredith watched him go past and gave a startled jump to the right when another kobold smacked her in the pastern with his broom handle. “Move it, hoofer!” he said, adding, “And watch where you’re going, you armored slut.”
“Don’t call me names,” Meredith said reprovingly. “I’ll complain to your supervisor.”
This caused all the kobolds to start laughing. “Sure, go ahead!” the one who’d insulted her said. “He hasn’t had a good laugh in months.”
“Not since the Mistress made him female for our office holiday party,” another added.
“Yeah, she was a great fuck,” said a third.
A fourth chimed in, “Pulled a train on her all night, from both ends, and she wasn’t even mad about it the next day after he changed back,” and the others all giggled and nudged each other knowingly. “Talk about good employer-employee relations.”
Meredith rolled her eyes and gingerly stepped around the cleaning crew. “Don’t know what they call you here – “
“We’re the Roombahs!” one said.
Another added, “There’s tribes of us everywhere.”
The golden palomino mare shook her head and moved to where Vesan and Varan were studying the vending machines. “I call them damned nuisances,” she muttered in a whisper. Raising her voice she asked, “Have they said anything yet?” the paladin asked, pointing at the machines.
“Not a word,” Vesan said, the rogue puzzling out the labels for the various items on offer. “What is ‘ramen?’”
“Is soup, nice and hot, with stuff in it!” the machine chirruped cheerfully. “Price is listed. You pay, I cook.” Vesan peered at the labels again and the machine said, “You deaf? I say you pay, I cook.”
“Ernh, very well. I am rather hungry.” Vesan fed some coins into the machine, pressed a button for ramen (a gloss in the hologram saying that consuming the meal would increase the player’s Vitality), and waited.
“Hey. You come close, see how it cook nice?" The machine then sang a cheerful song about how nice a day it was, and how naïve Vesan had been, before a bell chimed and a door opened.
The rogue bent over to retrieve the bowl, only to receive a gout of hot dashi and other ingredients to her face. She recoiled, wiping noodles and bits of nori from her muzzle before she spluttered, “What was that for?” Removing the noodles proved to be difficult, as they clung on like tentacles.
"Hahahahaha. You stupid." The machine blew a raspberry.
Varan gave the rogue a cloth to wipe her face and raised a ward between her and the vending machines. Another volley of dashi splattered across the ward and fell to the floor, eliciting a chorus of groans from the Roombahs.
"Fuck you,” the ramen machine said to Varan, “and fuck you fake tits."
“They’re real,” the mage said.
This caused the machine to blow a raspberry. "No way those fucking real. You have surgery big-time."
"They too round," a candy machine added.
"Too firm. Too fully packed," a machine selling cigarettes put in. “These all wear clothes below their waist! L.S./M.F.T.!”
“What that mean?” the candy machine asked.
“Lesbian Sluts Make Fucky Totally,” came the speedy reply. There was a pause and the vending machine grumbled, “Not a gag in a carload.”
“This is getting sillier,” Meredith said. Varan and Vesan nodded. “Look,” she said to the machines, “we just want to get something to eat.”
“No smoke?” the cigarette machine asked. “Four of five doctor say you suck!”
The paladin, mage and rogue ignored it and sorted out the coins they had before each stepped up to a separate machine. Meredith got a curry, Vesan a bowl of soup, and Varan selected an ice cream sandwich before the trio went to the dining area. Partway to the table, Meredith sniffed at the curry and asked, “Does this have MSG?”
The machine she’d purchased the dish from said indignantly, “Why fuck you bring Knicks or Rangers into this? You STUPID."
The other diners looked up from their meals, glanced at each other and shook their heads before starting to move as stealthily as possible for the exits. The trio of adventurers took their place and started eating.
Meredith was halfway through her vegetarian curry when her ears went straight up and then went straight back as a loud and pronounced rumble was heard coming from her abdomen. “Excuse me,” she said as she stood up.
“Are you all right?” Varan asked.
The golden palomino mare’s reply morphed into a wince and she clutched at her stomach. “Where is the toilet?” One of the Roombahs pointed. “Thank you,” and the paladin moved quickly toward the door, muttering, “What was in that curry?”
The machine she’d bought it from laughed. “Hah! That Soviet curry!”
“Soviet curry?” Vesan asked.
The machine giggled. “It make everyone go rushin’ to the loo – because they have the Trotskys!” It giggled again as the bathroom door sealed behind Meredith.
The sounds coming from the bathroom made those who had them flatten their ears, and the ice cream machine remarked, “Someone fulfilling Five Year Plan in four.”
The two viri glanced at each other before returning to their food. Vesan began eating her mushroom soup, while Varan took a bite from her ice cream sandwich.
Vesan’s spoon fell to the table with a clatter as she sat, transfixed, her feline pupils dilated so far that her eye color was hard to see. Beside her, Varan was leaning sideways and clutching at her head as icicles hung from her ears and nose.
The ice cream machine giggled and asked, “What you do for Yukon Bar?”
A drinks machine replied, “I know what I do to her!”
“Ah, you not equipped. Go fuck yourself,” the curry machine said, and the drinks machine grumbled.
The door to the toilet unsealed and a gout of steam poured out, followed by Meredith. The mare was panting and looked drenched to the skin, her mane hanging lankly against her neck and shoulders. “And I had to pay for that?” she gasped.
“Shut up!” the bathroom declared. “I had to clean place. You stink it up.”
“While I was in you? And why do I smell like lavender and buttered popcorn?”
“My designer nice binturong fella.”
The paladin shook her head and suddenly spotted her two compatriots. “Varan! Varan, are you all right?” she asked as the mage suddenly shook herself, icicles falling to the floor. “What’s wrong with Vesan?”
“I-I don’t know,” Varan replied, and the two leaned in close to hear the rogue whisper about how she now understood everything, and she was part of everything, and everything was part of her, and how nice it would be for everyone to just be nice to each other for a change . . .
Varan cast a healing cantrip and Vesan suddenly fell forward in her seat, banging her muzzle against the table. She yelped and recoiled, clutching her nose. “What? What happened?” she demanded.
“Long story,” Meredith said. “Let’s get out of here.” The three females stepped around the Roombahs and out onto the sidewalk to find that the crowd had gotten considerably larger.
Forced off the sidewalk, they jostled a young feline woman pushing a wheeled kiosk. The cart teetered and fell on its side.
Coffee spilled out onto the street.
“Uh oh,” Meredith said, and drew her sword as Varan energized her staff and Vesan drew her knives.
They began backing away as the barista drew out a whistle and blew, eliciting a piercing PEETS! sound before drawing her giant mallet and throwing a barrage of small packets that exploded in midair, filling the air with a noxious powder.
Meredith coughed at the pungent, cloying stink of cinnamon, cloves and ginger, and the two viri gasped and waved their hands. “It’s horrible!” Vesan said.
“It BURNS!” Varan said, having gotten some in her eyes.
More baristas were coming at a run, so the trio turned to beat a hasty retreat. A sudden spray of sticky, horribly sweet brown liquid mired them to the pavement, and they struggled to escape the syrup.
But the baristas were faster.
One of the Roombahs looked at the resultant puddle and said to another, “I ain’t cleaning that up.”
“Not without overtime,” his partner said.
***
“That didn’t end well,” Fuji remarked.
Meredith shook her head. “No, it didn’t.”
© 2024 by Walter Reimer
Thumbnail art by
turnboltThe paladin, mage and rogue hung back, not wanting to get caught in the mass of pantsless citizenry who were headed up the broad avenue toward the Mistress’ palace. Despite all of them wearing something below the waist, the three adventurers were trying to be inconspicuous.
Varan’s hand tightened on her mage’s staff. “Guards coming,” she said brusquely. Vesan had seen the Clowns as well, a pair of them accompanied by a mephit Jester. The skunk was smiling happily, and the Clowns had their dildo truncheons resting casually on their shoulders. “We should step into a shop to avoid being spotted.”
“Good idea,” Vesan said, and she pointed. “There.”
The sign over the wide doorway said that the establishment was the Happy Full Belly Restaurant. Without pausing, the trio moved inside to see a half-dozen feral rat-sized kobolds wearing white uniforms and wielding brooms industriously sweeping the floor while several people sat eating at a long table near the entrance.
Meredith felt something hit her hoof and she looked down at one kobold who took his cigar from between his teeth and said, “Move it, sister. We gotta clean up in here.” He shoved his broom against her hoof a few times to drive the point home.
“Oh. Excuse me,” and the paladin took a step to the left. The kobold went about his business, puffing noxious clouds of smoke from his cigar and muttering about “filthy Biggers.”
Meredith watched him go past and gave a startled jump to the right when another kobold smacked her in the pastern with his broom handle. “Move it, hoofer!” he said, adding, “And watch where you’re going, you armored slut.”
“Don’t call me names,” Meredith said reprovingly. “I’ll complain to your supervisor.”
This caused all the kobolds to start laughing. “Sure, go ahead!” the one who’d insulted her said. “He hasn’t had a good laugh in months.”
“Not since the Mistress made him female for our office holiday party,” another added.
“Yeah, she was a great fuck,” said a third.
A fourth chimed in, “Pulled a train on her all night, from both ends, and she wasn’t even mad about it the next day after he changed back,” and the others all giggled and nudged each other knowingly. “Talk about good employer-employee relations.”
Meredith rolled her eyes and gingerly stepped around the cleaning crew. “Don’t know what they call you here – “
“We’re the Roombahs!” one said.
Another added, “There’s tribes of us everywhere.”
The golden palomino mare shook her head and moved to where Vesan and Varan were studying the vending machines. “I call them damned nuisances,” she muttered in a whisper. Raising her voice she asked, “Have they said anything yet?” the paladin asked, pointing at the machines.
“Not a word,” Vesan said, the rogue puzzling out the labels for the various items on offer. “What is ‘ramen?’”
“Is soup, nice and hot, with stuff in it!” the machine chirruped cheerfully. “Price is listed. You pay, I cook.” Vesan peered at the labels again and the machine said, “You deaf? I say you pay, I cook.”
“Ernh, very well. I am rather hungry.” Vesan fed some coins into the machine, pressed a button for ramen (a gloss in the hologram saying that consuming the meal would increase the player’s Vitality), and waited.
“Hey. You come close, see how it cook nice?" The machine then sang a cheerful song about how nice a day it was, and how naïve Vesan had been, before a bell chimed and a door opened.
The rogue bent over to retrieve the bowl, only to receive a gout of hot dashi and other ingredients to her face. She recoiled, wiping noodles and bits of nori from her muzzle before she spluttered, “What was that for?” Removing the noodles proved to be difficult, as they clung on like tentacles.
"Hahahahaha. You stupid." The machine blew a raspberry.
Varan gave the rogue a cloth to wipe her face and raised a ward between her and the vending machines. Another volley of dashi splattered across the ward and fell to the floor, eliciting a chorus of groans from the Roombahs.
"Fuck you,” the ramen machine said to Varan, “and fuck you fake tits."
“They’re real,” the mage said.
This caused the machine to blow a raspberry. "No way those fucking real. You have surgery big-time."
"They too round," a candy machine added.
"Too firm. Too fully packed," a machine selling cigarettes put in. “These all wear clothes below their waist! L.S./M.F.T.!”
“What that mean?” the candy machine asked.
“Lesbian Sluts Make Fucky Totally,” came the speedy reply. There was a pause and the vending machine grumbled, “Not a gag in a carload.”
“This is getting sillier,” Meredith said. Varan and Vesan nodded. “Look,” she said to the machines, “we just want to get something to eat.”
“No smoke?” the cigarette machine asked. “Four of five doctor say you suck!”
The paladin, mage and rogue ignored it and sorted out the coins they had before each stepped up to a separate machine. Meredith got a curry, Vesan a bowl of soup, and Varan selected an ice cream sandwich before the trio went to the dining area. Partway to the table, Meredith sniffed at the curry and asked, “Does this have MSG?”
The machine she’d purchased the dish from said indignantly, “Why fuck you bring Knicks or Rangers into this? You STUPID."
The other diners looked up from their meals, glanced at each other and shook their heads before starting to move as stealthily as possible for the exits. The trio of adventurers took their place and started eating.
Meredith was halfway through her vegetarian curry when her ears went straight up and then went straight back as a loud and pronounced rumble was heard coming from her abdomen. “Excuse me,” she said as she stood up.
“Are you all right?” Varan asked.
The golden palomino mare’s reply morphed into a wince and she clutched at her stomach. “Where is the toilet?” One of the Roombahs pointed. “Thank you,” and the paladin moved quickly toward the door, muttering, “What was in that curry?”
The machine she’d bought it from laughed. “Hah! That Soviet curry!”
“Soviet curry?” Vesan asked.
The machine giggled. “It make everyone go rushin’ to the loo – because they have the Trotskys!” It giggled again as the bathroom door sealed behind Meredith.
The sounds coming from the bathroom made those who had them flatten their ears, and the ice cream machine remarked, “Someone fulfilling Five Year Plan in four.”
The two viri glanced at each other before returning to their food. Vesan began eating her mushroom soup, while Varan took a bite from her ice cream sandwich.
Vesan’s spoon fell to the table with a clatter as she sat, transfixed, her feline pupils dilated so far that her eye color was hard to see. Beside her, Varan was leaning sideways and clutching at her head as icicles hung from her ears and nose.
The ice cream machine giggled and asked, “What you do for Yukon Bar?”
A drinks machine replied, “I know what I do to her!”
“Ah, you not equipped. Go fuck yourself,” the curry machine said, and the drinks machine grumbled.
The door to the toilet unsealed and a gout of steam poured out, followed by Meredith. The mare was panting and looked drenched to the skin, her mane hanging lankly against her neck and shoulders. “And I had to pay for that?” she gasped.
“Shut up!” the bathroom declared. “I had to clean place. You stink it up.”
“While I was in you? And why do I smell like lavender and buttered popcorn?”
“My designer nice binturong fella.”
The paladin shook her head and suddenly spotted her two compatriots. “Varan! Varan, are you all right?” she asked as the mage suddenly shook herself, icicles falling to the floor. “What’s wrong with Vesan?”
“I-I don’t know,” Varan replied, and the two leaned in close to hear the rogue whisper about how she now understood everything, and she was part of everything, and everything was part of her, and how nice it would be for everyone to just be nice to each other for a change . . .
Varan cast a healing cantrip and Vesan suddenly fell forward in her seat, banging her muzzle against the table. She yelped and recoiled, clutching her nose. “What? What happened?” she demanded.
“Long story,” Meredith said. “Let’s get out of here.” The three females stepped around the Roombahs and out onto the sidewalk to find that the crowd had gotten considerably larger.
Forced off the sidewalk, they jostled a young feline woman pushing a wheeled kiosk. The cart teetered and fell on its side.
Coffee spilled out onto the street.
“Uh oh,” Meredith said, and drew her sword as Varan energized her staff and Vesan drew her knives.
They began backing away as the barista drew out a whistle and blew, eliciting a piercing PEETS! sound before drawing her giant mallet and throwing a barrage of small packets that exploded in midair, filling the air with a noxious powder.
Meredith coughed at the pungent, cloying stink of cinnamon, cloves and ginger, and the two viri gasped and waved their hands. “It’s horrible!” Vesan said.
“It BURNS!” Varan said, having gotten some in her eyes.
More baristas were coming at a run, so the trio turned to beat a hasty retreat. A sudden spray of sticky, horribly sweet brown liquid mired them to the pavement, and they struggled to escape the syrup.
But the baristas were faster.
One of the Roombahs looked at the resultant puddle and said to another, “I ain’t cleaning that up.”
“Not without overtime,” his partner said.
***
“That didn’t end well,” Fuji remarked.
Meredith shook her head. “No, it didn’t.”
Category Story / General Furry Art
Species Horse
Size 82 x 120px
File Size 90.9 kB
Listed in Folders
So round so firm so fully packed - that's my gal ...
Though now ah days it's more make-up/fake-up over Botox, saline and silicon to the point many of them don't even look human. There's more than a few u-tuby vids of what look like dream girls pulling off their wigs and wiping off all the fake-up to show off true hags ...
Though now ah days it's more make-up/fake-up over Botox, saline and silicon to the point many of them don't even look human. There's more than a few u-tuby vids of what look like dream girls pulling off their wigs and wiping off all the fake-up to show off true hags ...
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