My little fox and this beautiful city of Tallinn.
It's no secret that I was born and raised in Russia, I had a lot of troubles and trials, and as a result, my psyche worked only for survival, and in order not to go crazy, it demanded momentary pleasures.
At some point, life became too unbearable that tolerating this (as I told my psychotherapist) "warm, but predictable, pile of shit" became more dangerous for mental health than throwing myself off a cliff in search of my true feelings and desires, throwing behind my back everything old that did not bring happiness, but gave predictability and therefore the illusion of security. And I threw myself.
I tried my best with an uncomfortable partner, despite the fact that I was in a relationship with him for a third of my life, quit my hated job, moved from a city suffocating with its grayness, and then from a country whose "values" were not close to me. Each stage made me feel worse than before accepting the inevitability of change, but there was no turning back and with time... I let go.
I am married to a wonderful man who truly loves me and shares common values, I breathe fresh air of the capital of a European country, I eat fresh healthy food and my basic needs were covered and by chance I realized that for more than a month I have been feeling this light feeling of causeless happiness.
I just sit and I have the desire and strength for creativity, for my dogs, for studying and even for the banal taking a shower or cooking delicious food because "I want" and not "I have to".
It amazes me, for the first time in my entire (!) life I feel so light and free... which inspired me to create this art.
As for Rusty... I think her image resonates with me more and I want to see her as my fursona.
Charlie and Satira are wonderful characters, but they are too ideologically outdated and it has become difficult to associate them with myself. Of course they will remain with me, I will draw art for them and such, but they will no longer have the status that Rusty now has.