It was one of those unbearably hot summer days, and even Mildred — usually buried in her chaotic job at ACME — decided she’d earned a rare break. With her oversized sun hat, a suspiciously overstuffed beach bag, and a towel featuring a smug cartoon duck, she strolled onto the packed beach, already teeming with sunburned tourists, seagulls plotting sandwich thefts… and, of course, fanboys. Lots of fanboys.

Mildred sighed, dropping her bag onto the sand and laying her towel out near the edge of the dunes

“Finally, peace,” she muttered, stretching out on her towel.

She reached into her bag and pulled out a new bottle of SolarBlimp™ SPF 50+ — a sunscreen she picked up on clearance. The label, in very fine print, warned:

“Contains rare Blimp Fruit Extract. Apply sparingly. May cause temporary puffiness or volume gain if overused. Not responsible for floatation-related incidents.”

Mildred, of course, didn’t read any of that. She just squirted a generous amount into her hands.

“Puffiness?” she scoffed, slathering it over her body like whipped cream on a sundae. “What’s the worst that could happen—?”

About ten minutes later, as she settled into a nice half-nap, she began to feel... odd.

Bwoomp.

Her belly gave a soft, bloated bounce. She blinked and looked down, her eyes widening. Her once-flat stomach was slowly ballooning outward, round and taut like a beach ball being pumped with air. Then her chest joined in, softly swelling, then expanding like overfilled balloons.

"How the hell did this happen?!" she squeaked, scrambling upright—only to discover she couldn’t move much at all. Her belly was now a massive, inflated orb, leaving her arms and legs flopped on top like helpless spaghetti noodles.

“All I did was lie down to relax!!”

Cue the gasps. The camera phones. The squeals of delight from a mob of fanboys who'd somehow teleported to her side like moths to a glowing, buoyant flame.

Mildred groaned, her cheeks puffing up in embarrassment as a few fanboys tried to bounce on her swollen belly

The effect would wear off... eventually. Probably.

For now, she just had to endure her accidental celebrity moment as a living, breathing blimp on the beach.

Next time? She’s reading the label.


Mildred Belongs to  GreyofPTA