"Four o'clock, wallow in self pity; Four-thirty, stare into the abyss; Five o'clock, solve world hunger, tell no one; Five-thirty, jazzercize; Six-thirty, dinner with me - I can't cancel that again; Seven o'clock, wrestle with my self-loathing... I'm booked!"

"Of course, if I bump the loathing to nine, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness..."

"But what would I wear??"

(Stares into camera) "Kids today. So desensitized by movies and television." (stares back at Cindy Lou Who) "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!!"

XDDD