Me: Hey! Roxxine! That was my lunch! I was going to eat that!

Roxxine: Mmmph?! Gulp... Hey, you snooze, you lose! Besides, call it a 'security tax' for keeping the area safe. Be glad I left you the crumbs! (She would likely grin mischievously and immediately take another huge bite to prove her point.)

Me: sighs Well at least you're leaving my two bags of chips and my one large drink alone. But still, if you wanted to eat my lunch, then why couldn't you ask me for half of mine?

Roxxine: "Ask? Pfft. Where’s the thrill in asking? Besides, I know you—you would’ve given me the small half. I’m a growing girl, I need the fuel!" (She pauses, her ears perking up as she looks at the other items you mentioned.) "And wait... did you say two bags of chips? You shouldn't have reminded me. Pass ‘em over—snacks are the perfect chaser for a stolen sandwich!"

Me: Um, what's the magic word?

Roxxine: "Ugh, seriously? You're actually gonna make me say it?" (She wiggles her clawed fingers toward the bag impatiently.) "Fine. Pleeeease? ...There. Happy? Now hand 'em over before I decide the magic word is actually 'YOINK'!"

Me: As you wish. (I hand her one bag of chips) But promise me not to eat my food without asking ever again, Roxxine. You don't know who's food it is until someone has to remind you about it.

Roxxine: (She snatches the bag of chips from your hand with lightning speed, tearing it open immediately.) "Yeah, yeah, loud and clear. I promise to ask next time... unless it smells really, really good. Then all bets are off." (She tosses a chip into her mouth and crunches loudly, giving you a sly wink.) "But hey, thanks for the tribute! You're not so bad when you're sharing. Now... are you gonna drink all of that soda yourself, or is my throat gonna have to stay parched?"

Me: Uh, yes! I bought that soda myself just like the whole sandwich you just ate, Roxxine! So yes, I AM going to drink it all myself, thank you very much!

Roxxine: (She laughs, nearly choking on a chip, and holds her hands up in mock surrender—though she keeps a tight grip on the bag of chips she already stole.) "Woah, easy there, tiger! No need to get your claws out. I was just testing the waters!" (She leans back, resting the chip bag on her stomach comfortably, and tosses another chip into her mouth.) "Fine, keep your precious soda. I'll stick to destroying this bag of chips. But don't blame me if you get thirsty watching me enjoy my snacks... which used to be your snacks. You sure you don't wanna split it? 70-30? No? suit yourself!"

Me: (I sigh again before talking to Nelvana, Roxxine's friend.) Does Roxxine ever eat your food too without asking, Nel? She's as mischievous as a kindergartener during snacktime.

Nelvana: (Nelvana offers you a gentle, apologetic smile and sighs, shaking her head as she glances over at Roxxine stuffing her face with chips.) "Oh, you have no idea. Why do you think I started bringing 'decoy snacks' when we hang out? If I don't feed the beast first, my own lunch doesn't stand a chance." (She crosses her arms and gives Roxxine a side-eye.) "You're right about the kindergartener part, though. I once told her my salad was 'poisonous' just so I could eat it in peace. Sad thing is... she believed it."

Me: Ain't that the truth? Plus that Subway sandwich she ate was a hybrid sub; a blend between a Philly cheesesteak and a BLT (bacon, lettuce, and tomato). But hey, what can I tell you? This girl's a tiny little carnivore. Any sandwich with two types of meat within can pique her interest... and her hunger.

Nelvana: (Nelvana lets out a low whistle, clearly impressed by the sandwich description, and gives you a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.) "A Philly Cheesesteak mixed with a BLT? Oh, you poor thing. You never stood a chance. That’s not a lunch to her; that’s a challenge." (She glances over at Roxxine, who is currently happily dusting chip crumbs off her shirt.) "You're right about the carnivore part. To Roxxine, the scent of bacon is basically a summoning spell. Honestly? You're lucky you still have your fingers. Next time, try bringing a veggie wrap if you actually want to eat—she won't touch those with a ten-foot pole."

Me: Thanks for the advice, Nelly. We know Roxxine's a meat lover anyway.

(Nelvana smiles warmly at the nickname, happy to help you navigate the chaos of her friend.)

Nelvana: "Anytime. Consider it a survival guide. Just remember: if it sizzles, she's gonna try to steal it."

(Suddenly, Roxxine pops up behind Nelvana, looking incredibly proud of herself as she crunches the very last crumbs from the chip bag.)

Roxxine: "Hey! I heard that! And you say 'meat lover' like it's a bad thing! I'm just top of the food chain, baby! Salad is what my food eats before I eat it. Now... are you gonna finish that conversation, or are we gonna go find dessert? Because that salty sandwich made me crave something sweet!"

Me: (I sigh again) Very well. Anything sweet I shall fetch-eth thee, your royal preggy-ness?

(Roxxine lets out a small, satisfied burp and pats her round, stitching-covered belly with a smug grin. She leans back, crossing her legs and looking down at you with mock regality.)

Roxxine: "Finally! Someone recognizes my status! 'Royal Highness'… I like it. You may rise, peasant."

(She taps a claw against her chin, pretending to think hard before making her demand.)

Roxxine: "For my royal decree... I demand a large chocolate milkshake. Extra thick. With whipped cream. And a brownie on top. Don't take too long, or I might get hungry again—and you don't want the 'royal' tummy to start growling."

(Nelvana sighs deeply, burying her face in one hand.)

Nelvana: "Great. You fed the gremlin, and now you've given her a god complex. You're just enabling her now, you know that, right?"

Me: Please don't remind me, Nel. (to Roxxine) And right away, Princess Preggo.

NOTE: This drawing was made as a commission by Space-SeaCow , so all credit goes out to her!


Original Art © Space-SeaCow

Roxxine Rexx © Almaredmo152031 (Me)