THU OCT 2 2025
sometime during 2024, i was still going around doing random hookups through dating apps, something i stopped doing entirely in late april 2025, and which i doubt i'll ever go back to doing
This day, remnants from those interactions came back up again.
Someone I had matched with and been having some nice interactions with messaged me suddenly, at a point where we really hadn't spoken over instant messageing for months.
At this point I was pretty deep into my complete disenchantment with the whole hooking up thing, and this person's request for meeting up again felt very unappealling to me. And i could really feel the "utilization" aspect of these kinds of relationships, meaning: this person didn't really want to see me because they genuinely missed me, but rather needed some form of emotional comforting, and i was the available one with whom they'd found this comfort before.
Except now, I wasn't really interested at all, in any of it. So I chose to hardly respond at all, and just barely agree to going to meet them, if they could cover the transportation cost of me going there.
I think they got the hint however, because after this interaction, we really have not spoken at all since. And i'm honestly glad for it.
To conmemorate this, I drew donkey dave in a vibe i was feeling this day: Trying to go along my day normally, with the lingering thoughts and guilt I felt from this person seeking me out, and I borderline ignoring them.
Though I think it was the right decision. No matter how much I tried to rationalize "doing the right thing for them" because they were in a tough situation emotionally; it felt to me as though, if i were to accept going "for them", it would've been extremely forced and jarring to be there.
I feel like emotional support is very difficult to do effectively if it doesn't come from a genuine place.
sometime during 2024, i was still going around doing random hookups through dating apps, something i stopped doing entirely in late april 2025, and which i doubt i'll ever go back to doing
This day, remnants from those interactions came back up again.
Someone I had matched with and been having some nice interactions with messaged me suddenly, at a point where we really hadn't spoken over instant messageing for months.
At this point I was pretty deep into my complete disenchantment with the whole hooking up thing, and this person's request for meeting up again felt very unappealling to me. And i could really feel the "utilization" aspect of these kinds of relationships, meaning: this person didn't really want to see me because they genuinely missed me, but rather needed some form of emotional comforting, and i was the available one with whom they'd found this comfort before.
Except now, I wasn't really interested at all, in any of it. So I chose to hardly respond at all, and just barely agree to going to meet them, if they could cover the transportation cost of me going there.
I think they got the hint however, because after this interaction, we really have not spoken at all since. And i'm honestly glad for it.
To conmemorate this, I drew donkey dave in a vibe i was feeling this day: Trying to go along my day normally, with the lingering thoughts and guilt I felt from this person seeking me out, and I borderline ignoring them.
Though I think it was the right decision. No matter how much I tried to rationalize "doing the right thing for them" because they were in a tough situation emotionally; it felt to me as though, if i were to accept going "for them", it would've been extremely forced and jarring to be there.
I feel like emotional support is very difficult to do effectively if it doesn't come from a genuine place.
Category Artwork (Traditional) / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1843 x 1999px
File Size 1.19 MB
Listed in Folders
hehe i love to use pen sparringly for impact!
and honestly yes, that's part of what stopped me dead in my tracks from doing it any longer
it's all completely shallow and there just is no space for genuine development, and i've legit tried going beyond just the relationship being transactional, and it just never happened.
Also the last couple of interactions of that kind ended up curshing me emotionally...
i just thought "why do i keep doing this to myself"
ended up deciding it just isn't worth it, and i do feel a lot more peaceful emotionally no longer participating in all that
and honestly yes, that's part of what stopped me dead in my tracks from doing it any longer
it's all completely shallow and there just is no space for genuine development, and i've legit tried going beyond just the relationship being transactional, and it just never happened.
Also the last couple of interactions of that kind ended up curshing me emotionally...
i just thought "why do i keep doing this to myself"
ended up deciding it just isn't worth it, and i do feel a lot more peaceful emotionally no longer participating in all that
It is more peaceful that way. Fetishizing hookup culture like people do in their art here is fine, but in reality it feels backward to me. I need to develop an emotional connection to get much out of it. No one cares for that these days, they just want to use you. I'm going to be alone, I've come to terms with that. It's better than getting attached to people who hardly care beyond the surface. Maybe I'll find someone someday, but actively searching for it is fruitless. I think it should be this way. No one can expect to have a good relationship, if they can't balance life on their own first.
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