MON OCT 6 2025

final day at my old job.

it was so surreal to go into the actual office space where a team of 12 people had once all worked, and for all intents and purposes, hung out.
Just so you get an idea for the sense of emptyness in this space:

the office where i used to work is essentially the size of a small indoor supermarket, but it's all rows of desks, of which one small section was occupied by the team i formed a part of. This space was now completely empty and silent. It was just me sitting there gathering all my things, and even some leftover belongings of my already departed coworkers, in complete silence.
I could almost visualize with my eyes all the previous ocassions that had ocurred in these office chairs and desks, the place felt eery and ghostly.

never felt that way before in any previous jobs i'd exited. I think what was special about this exit was the ultimate loss of potential from such a great team having been dismantled. This might've been the clearest sign of economic decline i could see in my personal life, as directly influenced by world events.

who would've thought i would legitimately becomme emotional from saying one last goodbye to some liminal empty corporate space. how the most unlikely of places can attain such sentimental value in our minds.

i've even become somewhat emotional while writing this, which to me signals that this might've had a larger impact on me than i even care to accept. But as all things in life, it can take some time to process these things fully.

i think we can sometimes be fooled into thinking we "instantly" understand most things, because we can read and face them so immediately (instant messaging, endless news cycle) but i think the reality is that we truly never JUST understand things on the spot, no matter how simple they may seem.