Lately I've been trying to find the source of my unhappiness, and realized it had a lot to do with loss. The loss of being near my friends, the loss of places, the loss of sources of inspiration. 2004-2005 I realize was an immensely inspirational time for me, for various reasons. I was in a place, mentally, that was very good for me.

But all things change, and as it seemed to me, my world changed, it shifted. It was nothing that was in my control, but a number of very inspirational forces crumbled away or changed. To this day, I still feel an empty, hollow space. Sometimes I think back on those times and remember what things used to be like. I don't feel angry, or disappointed, just very sad. Very hollow.

A new kind of inspiration has been beginning to fill that empty space, however...slowly, gradually, almost without notice. Like a growing tree, often you don't realize how tall it's become until you stand there and really look. I think it will be okay, I just have to accept that inspiration comes in many forms, and when one tree decays, it doesn't mean another won't grow from its place.


Holbein ink and watercolor on illustration board, 6 X 9 inches