beep bop boop :]

ahhh, low sodium salt. Sodium chloride, now with zero percent sodium, and one hundred percent chlorine...sir?...oh shoot, he's dead."

Is...that the Lifesigns Meter from Star Trek: TOS in the background, there?

Uh-huh... had to make it more futuristic somehow... the robot wasn't enough.

I agree completely.

Fake salt, is extremely nasty.

Real salt is pretty nasty in its own way. Think about it... would you put anything else on your food that ate cars?

Tabasco. I should maybe consume less of that...

The only thing wrong with tabasco, or any salsa, is often there's too much salt. Hmm.... where have heard people talking about salt before... ?

Actually, the acidity probably doesn't help either.

Some people are upset by the acidity, some aren't. If you get gas or stomach reflux or burning asshole syndrome, then whatever you're eating is probably too spicy for you. If there are no symptoms, then there are probably no problems either.

I drink cola . . .

Cola is fine... as long as its diet. Regular cola is fine too... as long as it's a one oz. glass, unfortunately.

I drink it from 2 liter bottles, lol. Can't drink diet, the fake sugars make me sick. I do drink a lot of water too, though.

Too bad you can't drink diet beverages -- it's the sugar that does all the harm. The most recent evidence shows the caffeine to be largely harmless, and (in coffee at least) beneficial in some ways. Don't worry about it as a diuretic. That's been shown to be an old-wive's tale. If you guzzle 2 liters of any thing, even tap water, you'll go to the toilet a lot. If you drink 8 oz. of cola or 8 oz. of coffee or 8 oz. or water... it's all the same to your kidneys.

*Nods* Yeah, I know. But, we all need vices- and I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, gamble, or drive fast cars with loose women.

Which, to be honest, sucks.

I know what you mean. When I tell my doctor the impressive lists I don't have, does he congratulate me? No... he pounces on the fact that I like chocolate and tells me to give that up to. I strongly suspect that those who oversee our conduct would prefer to have us live our lives in prison, so that they can control us fully.

Yeah. Enjoy yer 8X8. You can walk all you want- inside it.

Actually, what the doctor and dietician really seem to want me to cut back on is... wait for it... BREAD! I remember my mother pleading with me to eat bread and how bread was considered an essential to every meal. I hated the stuff. But, then I discovered I could make my own and it tasted a lot better. Making it myself was cheap, too... much less expensive than buying Wonder. As well, bread can be made into peanut butter sandwiches, grilled cheese, and French toast. You can make regular buttered toast, pile it with cold cuts, wrap it around a wiener or dip it in soup. I even eat it fresh out of the oven with butter. Eliminate bread from my diet and I lose about half my meals. What the heck would I have for breakfast? Corn flakes? Gruel? Give me a break. If my dietician can promise me two eggs, any style, bacon or ham, grapefruit half, toast and marmalade, tomato or apple juice and a fresh coffee every morning, okay... I'll cut down on bread. But I can't afford all that and it'd be a nuisance to prepare as well. Lunch? I do love soup, but it's $2 or more a can! (Well, can't you only have one bowl and save the rest for tomorrow, Mr. Wayne? NO!!!) The only cheap soup is that stuff in an aluminum package and its any flavour you want as long as its chicken. Mostly water, too, and not many noodles.

All this talk about food is making me think about pizza.. followed by chocolate ice cream and licorice jujubes.

Yup. Pretty soon it'll be Soylent Green©.

I *never* think about Soylent Green. Too much like a veggie. Now, Soylent Blue is especially good over ice cream...

I liked Red, m'self. It had a certain je ne sais quoi.

Is it weird that the thing that made me "glee" was the old star trek electronic medical board on the background?

Ye-puh.

Why does this guy remind me of Gargamel..

He's bald? Gargamel was malnourished, though, and this guy is obviously not. His weight is likely even why he's hospitalized. No cat under the bed, either... just a bed pan that teleports your midnight whiz into space.

LoL nice healthy food

Rice and broccoli? Who could want more?

i am a robot . i am here to heal u . beep.

In - event - of -pro - gram - mal - func- tion - do - not -in - ter - vene - while - au - to - ma- ted - med - i - cal - ass - is - tant - is - re - mov - ing - vi - tal - bod - y - parts. Make - com - plaints - to - man - u - fac - tur - ers - e - mail - ad -dress - on - ly - when - pro - gress - of - mal -func - tion - is - term - in -at -ed. Have - a - nice - day.

Minding his Bedside Manners.

Beware programming the wrong prescriptions...shudder.

Not between the robot and the patient, at least. Between Lockheed-Marietta, the manufacturer, and the hospital, probably plenty of cheating. In court its usually called collusion, though -- kickbacks and pork barreling by the press.

"How are we feeling today?"

"Better."

"Better?"

"Better get a bucket, I'm gonna throw up!"

"We don't have a bucket. I'll get you a mop. We don't mop either... " (Hospital in poor part of town.)

"But sir!, It's only a wafer thin mint!"