
Excerpt from chapter 1:
"Hand me a hydro-spanner?" I yelled, waving my arm out blindly in Wilkson's direction. I could only hope he was still back there.
I had my head stuck through a maintenance panel in the roof of the hallway, and it was taking everything I had not to come crashing down. The Sirius' artificial gravity was on the fritz half of the time, but never when I could use it.
"What the hell is a spanner?" One would never accuse Fred Wilkson of being the sharpest cutter in the kit, but I'd assumed he could at least pass me a tool.
"It's the red one. Just hand it over."
"I know that, you moron. I just want to know what a spanner is. And why the hell is it a hydro?"
I could feel the weight of the heavy metal tool slap in my palm as he spoke around the cigarette in his mouth. There were strict rules about smoking on any space going vessel, but Fred lit up every time he got out of sight of Chief Engineer McAlaster. Not that getting out from under the Cheif's thumb from the Chief was a common occurrence.
"It's just another term for a wrench, thicko," I grunted as I had to all but perform half a chapter from the kama-sutra just to get the spanner in place to tighten the bolt that sat there, taunting me. "And as for the 'hydro' part, I haven't a clue. Must have some hydraulics in it somewhere for all I know."
A few seconds later I could hear the screech of unlubricated metal begin to turn in the distance. This bucket of bolts freighter was older than dirt. It was just an amazement that it didn't fall from the stars.
I hung in the maintenance panel until the screech rose in pitch enough that it faded from hearing, becoming nothing more than yet another vibration in the ship's hull. I had no idea what it was I'd just fixed, but the Chief Engineer had sent the two of us all the way down the ten kilometre spine of the Sirius to do it. It must have been important.
Well, not that important. He had sent the two of us.
Please download the PDF file for the rest of the story.
Comments and critiques are welcome.
Thanks to everyone who read and commented. It's great to know you enjoyed the story.
I've added alternating fonts for when the point of view switches characters. I'm not sure if I like it though. It was added quickly so there may be mistakes.
And thanks to Rafeal for pointing out some spelling errors!
Or read it chapter by chapter.
"Hand me a hydro-spanner?" I yelled, waving my arm out blindly in Wilkson's direction. I could only hope he was still back there.
I had my head stuck through a maintenance panel in the roof of the hallway, and it was taking everything I had not to come crashing down. The Sirius' artificial gravity was on the fritz half of the time, but never when I could use it.
"What the hell is a spanner?" One would never accuse Fred Wilkson of being the sharpest cutter in the kit, but I'd assumed he could at least pass me a tool.
"It's the red one. Just hand it over."
"I know that, you moron. I just want to know what a spanner is. And why the hell is it a hydro?"
I could feel the weight of the heavy metal tool slap in my palm as he spoke around the cigarette in his mouth. There were strict rules about smoking on any space going vessel, but Fred lit up every time he got out of sight of Chief Engineer McAlaster. Not that getting out from under the Cheif's thumb from the Chief was a common occurrence.
"It's just another term for a wrench, thicko," I grunted as I had to all but perform half a chapter from the kama-sutra just to get the spanner in place to tighten the bolt that sat there, taunting me. "And as for the 'hydro' part, I haven't a clue. Must have some hydraulics in it somewhere for all I know."
A few seconds later I could hear the screech of unlubricated metal begin to turn in the distance. This bucket of bolts freighter was older than dirt. It was just an amazement that it didn't fall from the stars.
I hung in the maintenance panel until the screech rose in pitch enough that it faded from hearing, becoming nothing more than yet another vibration in the ship's hull. I had no idea what it was I'd just fixed, but the Chief Engineer had sent the two of us all the way down the ten kilometre spine of the Sirius to do it. It must have been important.
Well, not that important. He had sent the two of us.
Please download the PDF file for the rest of the story.
Comments and critiques are welcome.
Thanks to everyone who read and commented. It's great to know you enjoyed the story.
I've added alternating fonts for when the point of view switches characters. I'm not sure if I like it though. It was added quickly so there may be mistakes.
And thanks to Rafeal for pointing out some spelling errors!
Or read it chapter by chapter.
Category Story / All
Species Lion
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 1005.2 kB
Listed in Folders
Two completed stories woohoo!!
Personally, I would think a special character would do better in signifying transitions. Like have "* * *" between switches. It's okay if it's not always clear who begins a chapter, that can be figured out, but it would let switches have a clear marker. The reader would pick up on it pretty fast too.
Also I didn't find switches confusing to begin with... but that's just me.
Personally, I would think a special character would do better in signifying transitions. Like have "* * *" between switches. It's okay if it's not always clear who begins a chapter, that can be figured out, but it would let switches have a clear marker. The reader would pick up on it pretty fast too.
Also I didn't find switches confusing to begin with... but that's just me.
It's not dumb, just means I was unclear. I'd much rather you ask me questions than be confused.
Nope, Crit didn't die. He did, however, go through a nervous breakdown when he was sealed away in the dark.
James nearly died through.
Let me know what passages confused you and I can look at rewriting them!
Nope, Crit didn't die. He did, however, go through a nervous breakdown when he was sealed away in the dark.
James nearly died through.
Let me know what passages confused you and I can look at rewriting them!
Thanks, it's great to know you enjoyed it!
If you like Little Brother to a Lion you might also enjoy one of my earlier stories, The Hunters. Crit was inspired by one of its main characters.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9135725
If you like Little Brother to a Lion you might also enjoy one of my earlier stories, The Hunters. Crit was inspired by one of its main characters.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9135725
Comments