Once more its time for an way overdue update. This one is gonna be a bit of a stream of consciousness, so, fair warning I guess.

The last.. *looks at last journal date* 3 years, geez, seem like they've both dragged and absolutely flown by. I'm still working as a SPD tech, still busy. Haven't been able to get myself to focus on art for more than a few hours at a time, so I don't have much to show ya'll there.
The news I want to share is thaaaat...

I'm trans, more specifically, I'm a woman!

Genuinely a shocker for some folks, I'm sure, and others are sayin "Well, duuh~!" Yeah, sooo I answer to Hailey now, she/her, and I've been on HRT since July of this year. The last 3 years have been a bit of a ride to say the least. A lot of self-discovery, the emotional reckoning as a result, and coming out the other side. Right around when I had started paying to a crack in the shell, the news was starting to talk about a virus in a region of China, that seemed like something we should be concerned about. Because of the industry I work in, things got rough for a while. Really rough. My department had furloughs, I made the cut to stay on the job. A lot of days spent sitting around, bored, nervous and unsure. I had a lot of time to sit and quietly work, and think. Reflect. I remember one day, I think it was in July 2020, I was sitting at Sterrad (one of the sterilizer stations at work), using the compressed air to blow out the channels of a DaVinci lens. The thought crossed my mind as I worked, like it had many, many times before, "What would I look like if I were a girl?" and I remember the reply I gave myself out of pure instinct. The way one does when they already know the answer, and they just needed a second longer to think. "I guess we'll see when I start HRT." I remember frozing at that moment. Then just like that, I knew. It was already a decided thing in my mind. "well then." I said out loud. It's been a long road to get here, and I've got a long way to go, but I look forward to it.

That being said, I feel like it's time for me to move on from this account, and really this name completely. It was a "cool name" thought up by a 15 year old kid makin a DeviantArt account, that carried over when he got on to FA. That was 15 years ago. I am definitely not the person I was then, or even 7 years ago. Sikes. I honestly cringe a tiny bit when someone calls me that nowadays. But I made a lot of friends in that time. Folks I've grown very close to, and others who pass in and out of my life like comets. I've change names plenty of times, but Sikes as a character was always hangin around in some fashion or another. It's not me anymore, in so many ways. I don't plan to deactivate this account. I'll probably keep it alive as my own little Fav+ aggregator for artists this account follows. I don't plan to remove any of Sikes'/Roland's art, but I may revisit some of his old stuff I remember feeling proud of.

I've made a new account, though I haven't had anything ready to post yet. I'll post an official moving notice once I'm good to go.