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Random Journal Entry - One Year Later
3 years ago
Good evening, and thanks for following my stuff even though I haven't written a short story in a long time. I looked over my last journal entry from exactly a year ago and thought I would share some random thoughts and plans, especially now that things finally seem to be improving in my life. This is more of a rambling of thoughts, but I guess in the spirit of a random journal entry, I'll just randomly list some sections without any real focus or reason.
New Job - Better Company, Healthier Environment
To anyone who's followed me on social media, I had a pretty bad relationship with my last job, to put it lightly, although I still continued to do consistently strong work in terms of writing software. Despite being employed for more than six years, I went from being a fan to becoming more disillusioned in two key areas: one being the company's lack of notable health precautions especially during the pandemic, and the more personal one being my active discomfort with systemic harassment that other marginalized employees and myself were increasingly finding to be tolerated. Especially with the company consistently showing visible hesitation with regards to moderating content that was anti-queer in nature, seemingly having a double standard for when ethics policies actually were enforced with regards to queer employees feeling less excluded by others, and the desire to have the benefits of calling themselves an ally while doing almost nothing to show external support for the community, such as refusing to take extremely basic steps like opposing discriminatory legislation or publicly backing equality measures, I just became increasingly alienated particularly during the last year of my employment; this was around the time when I started being more vocal about my concerns, inspiring dozens of other employees on my own time to actively speak up albeit, and that actually did start to have some impact.
I did make use of HR and Ethics resources, but those either didn't go anywhere or in some cases had me feel passive-aggressively threatened in ways that are too complicated to summarize here. And sadly, I was also fired last summer, for vague reasons that absolutely felt like targeting was involved, but I was at least able to qualify for temporary unemployment benefits since a state deputy concluded that there was no proof that I was fired for deliberate misconduct. My last manager and I are also still on great terms too, and he helped give me some useful advice and even said some positive words as a reference; this was a way more positive relationship than an older manager I had who was verbally abusive and unfair, although he retired before I felt comfortable enough to speak up. There were other stresses too, like not being given enough agency, repeatedly feeling misrepresented, forced schedule changes that weren't flexible, and more.
Despite that traumatic period, I did eventually end up finding employment at a better company, and it's actually one that I really respect; I even was interested in it before being targeted at my past position, so everything worked out well. They show more external support, the company environment seems much more inclusive, the health benefits are notably improved, and I'm respected with more agency while still being able to contribute well to a team. It's also a remote position, so although I work from home, I have a more flexible schedule, less worries about germs, and even get to have sunlight now; what a concept. I'm being careful to not speak up against future systemic problems out of fear due to past experiences, but I am significantly happier under the far better company.
Past Goals - Partly Met
In my last journal entry, I listed several personal goals: Improve my physical health, write more journal entries, upload more art commissions while also more frequently hopping into live streams, and finally write another short story... although only the first and third of those goals were actually met.
Regarding the first, while this didn't really happen until recently, I've started doing stretches, I'm currently back into an exercise program with periodic Ring Fit Adventure sessions, and I'm getting a bit more outside activity than the start of the pandemic, making sure to still mask and get recommended vaccine shots. There have also been more social hangouts, including safely seeing my family more often, doing some cross-state meetups with older friends, going to a renaissance fair, and attending last year's Midwest FurFest, the last of which was an incredibly relaxing, safely hosted return to furry normalcy for me.
The third has been met by me getting a decent collection of both Mello and Felix commissions from a variety of extremely friendly and talented artists, and I had a lot of fun with writing the descriptions for them too. Art streams are also pleasant to go to; there are lots of lovely people to chat with and wonderful creators to support. I definitely recommend following the people behind any of my fursona drawings; be sure to leave comments on their own galleries as well!
The goal of having frequent journal entries wasn't met... whoops, but I am writing something now at least. I'll also try to give a better heads-up of planned furry conventions that Glass and I plan to attend, starting with Fur the 'More that's happening early next month. I am regularly active on social media, but I could certainly try to write stuff on here more often; Fur Affinity's profile tools have pretty good interfaces and organization potential, and as someone who used to write hundreds of news articles and blog posts for ScrewAttack, as well as retro reviews on 1 More Castle and Skirmish Frog, that's really appreciated by me.
My writing hiatus... is hard to explain, although it really just comes down to complicated motivation issues and life stress, even though I do want to write again; whether it was distractions with work activism, pandemic effects on my mental health, or other stuff, I honestly can't give a totally accurate answer. There are the post descriptions on here, which includes in-character writing from Mello, but that's not really the same thing. That said, especially since things have been physically and mentally improving for both Glass and me lately, I'm promising to myself right here that I'll start writing short stories again this year.
Planned 2022 Conventions
Heck, I may as well just share the conventions that we're attending no matter what, so here they be:
- Fur the 'More
- Anthrocon
- Midwest FurFest
We did originally plan to go to MAGFest earlier this year, but ultimately decided against it since that particular convention does a pretty bad job at controlling the spread of diseases; this is in contrast with Midwest FurFest, which was far less claustrophobic and had excellently enforced standards with its only notable issues involving a few security issues outside of pandemic themes, plus everything was cleaned well too. The aforementioned gaming con also refused to grant refunds even after newer pandemic developments; they had large amounts of overcrowding and officially reported outbreaks too, which is really not okay.
Future Short Stories
Following what I said further above, do have two planned ideas for future short stories, although I still need to write some basic outlines:
- Mello shopping for presents (friends and loved ones; this was in my last journal entry)
- Origin story for Glass the Latex Hyena (transformation away from his former wolf form)
These would be simple stories that are around four pages each, just something cute to help me get back into creative writing.
Alright, that's the end of my rambling nonsense until I feel randomly inspired to make another journal entry about something. Speaking of inspiration, I want to promote Glass and The Stickman in particular for helping me with anxiety problems and past writing, so thank you very much to them. And thanks to everyone who looks at my stuff and provides positive words; I really like getting to interact with y'all and develop my characters, so keep rocking on, you lovely beans!
New Job - Better Company, Healthier Environment
To anyone who's followed me on social media, I had a pretty bad relationship with my last job, to put it lightly, although I still continued to do consistently strong work in terms of writing software. Despite being employed for more than six years, I went from being a fan to becoming more disillusioned in two key areas: one being the company's lack of notable health precautions especially during the pandemic, and the more personal one being my active discomfort with systemic harassment that other marginalized employees and myself were increasingly finding to be tolerated. Especially with the company consistently showing visible hesitation with regards to moderating content that was anti-queer in nature, seemingly having a double standard for when ethics policies actually were enforced with regards to queer employees feeling less excluded by others, and the desire to have the benefits of calling themselves an ally while doing almost nothing to show external support for the community, such as refusing to take extremely basic steps like opposing discriminatory legislation or publicly backing equality measures, I just became increasingly alienated particularly during the last year of my employment; this was around the time when I started being more vocal about my concerns, inspiring dozens of other employees on my own time to actively speak up albeit, and that actually did start to have some impact.
I did make use of HR and Ethics resources, but those either didn't go anywhere or in some cases had me feel passive-aggressively threatened in ways that are too complicated to summarize here. And sadly, I was also fired last summer, for vague reasons that absolutely felt like targeting was involved, but I was at least able to qualify for temporary unemployment benefits since a state deputy concluded that there was no proof that I was fired for deliberate misconduct. My last manager and I are also still on great terms too, and he helped give me some useful advice and even said some positive words as a reference; this was a way more positive relationship than an older manager I had who was verbally abusive and unfair, although he retired before I felt comfortable enough to speak up. There were other stresses too, like not being given enough agency, repeatedly feeling misrepresented, forced schedule changes that weren't flexible, and more.
Despite that traumatic period, I did eventually end up finding employment at a better company, and it's actually one that I really respect; I even was interested in it before being targeted at my past position, so everything worked out well. They show more external support, the company environment seems much more inclusive, the health benefits are notably improved, and I'm respected with more agency while still being able to contribute well to a team. It's also a remote position, so although I work from home, I have a more flexible schedule, less worries about germs, and even get to have sunlight now; what a concept. I'm being careful to not speak up against future systemic problems out of fear due to past experiences, but I am significantly happier under the far better company.
Past Goals - Partly Met
In my last journal entry, I listed several personal goals: Improve my physical health, write more journal entries, upload more art commissions while also more frequently hopping into live streams, and finally write another short story... although only the first and third of those goals were actually met.
Regarding the first, while this didn't really happen until recently, I've started doing stretches, I'm currently back into an exercise program with periodic Ring Fit Adventure sessions, and I'm getting a bit more outside activity than the start of the pandemic, making sure to still mask and get recommended vaccine shots. There have also been more social hangouts, including safely seeing my family more often, doing some cross-state meetups with older friends, going to a renaissance fair, and attending last year's Midwest FurFest, the last of which was an incredibly relaxing, safely hosted return to furry normalcy for me.
The third has been met by me getting a decent collection of both Mello and Felix commissions from a variety of extremely friendly and talented artists, and I had a lot of fun with writing the descriptions for them too. Art streams are also pleasant to go to; there are lots of lovely people to chat with and wonderful creators to support. I definitely recommend following the people behind any of my fursona drawings; be sure to leave comments on their own galleries as well!
The goal of having frequent journal entries wasn't met... whoops, but I am writing something now at least. I'll also try to give a better heads-up of planned furry conventions that Glass and I plan to attend, starting with Fur the 'More that's happening early next month. I am regularly active on social media, but I could certainly try to write stuff on here more often; Fur Affinity's profile tools have pretty good interfaces and organization potential, and as someone who used to write hundreds of news articles and blog posts for ScrewAttack, as well as retro reviews on 1 More Castle and Skirmish Frog, that's really appreciated by me.
My writing hiatus... is hard to explain, although it really just comes down to complicated motivation issues and life stress, even though I do want to write again; whether it was distractions with work activism, pandemic effects on my mental health, or other stuff, I honestly can't give a totally accurate answer. There are the post descriptions on here, which includes in-character writing from Mello, but that's not really the same thing. That said, especially since things have been physically and mentally improving for both Glass and me lately, I'm promising to myself right here that I'll start writing short stories again this year.
Planned 2022 Conventions
Heck, I may as well just share the conventions that we're attending no matter what, so here they be:
- Fur the 'More
- Anthrocon
- Midwest FurFest
We did originally plan to go to MAGFest earlier this year, but ultimately decided against it since that particular convention does a pretty bad job at controlling the spread of diseases; this is in contrast with Midwest FurFest, which was far less claustrophobic and had excellently enforced standards with its only notable issues involving a few security issues outside of pandemic themes, plus everything was cleaned well too. The aforementioned gaming con also refused to grant refunds even after newer pandemic developments; they had large amounts of overcrowding and officially reported outbreaks too, which is really not okay.
Future Short Stories
Following what I said further above, do have two planned ideas for future short stories, although I still need to write some basic outlines:
- Mello shopping for presents (friends and loved ones; this was in my last journal entry)
- Origin story for Glass the Latex Hyena (transformation away from his former wolf form)
These would be simple stories that are around four pages each, just something cute to help me get back into creative writing.
Alright, that's the end of my rambling nonsense until I feel randomly inspired to make another journal entry about something. Speaking of inspiration, I want to promote Glass and The Stickman in particular for helping me with anxiety problems and past writing, so thank you very much to them. And thanks to everyone who looks at my stuff and provides positive words; I really like getting to interact with y'all and develop my characters, so keep rocking on, you lovely beans!
The--Stickman
~the--stickman
Do the write thing.
