Sometimes, the only solution to a problem that you have spent your entire life trying to solve is also one that can only be used when all the other options you've tried to apply turns up with no long-term outcome. In these unique times under a unique enough set of circumstances, a certain person would only require a self-imposed bonk on the head to beat the devil out of one's own mind. That's absolutely -- although, technically, many among you would call this self-harm and likely wouldn't be wrong -- the last resort in trying to save yourself from certain self-destruction. But, that's only the short-term.
Long-term, you'll need to dedicate the rest of your days finding your own way to do right. It's all any human can do, and it's also all any human has going forward. There's going to be a lot more work involved in the months and years ahead after you fix your head, but at the end of it all the result is a much newer, much stronger you than the version you were previously.

Most people would call things an act of desperation when really it's all just... Reinventing the wheel to turn shit into soup for the soul.