FA+
Shop
I Gotta Be Straight Up Here.
8 months ago
Since I was seven years old I have had ambitions of becoming a musical director or conductor of sorts. Does that tie into my fetish for female symphony conductors? No, not in this case, since this ambition I've had since childhood is unrelated to that. I'm in my thirties, have taken it upon myself to study up on all the greats of the past (Furtwangler, Abbado, Toscanini, even some lesser known ones like Frantisek Kotzwara), and I have to believe that the one thing they had in common is that they just KNEW. They didn't just study the scores they were given the chance to realize, recite and help groups of musicians themselves recite, they BECAME the score and the composers behind them.
I'll confess, I'll never be on their level, they only came around once. Not once in a lifetime, only once. I'll never be on their level, and I'm okay with that. But, even for a brief moment, the alchemist in me (seeing how I've had a knack over the past few years for combining the styles and techniques of different musicians in my work similar to how China's Nie Shouxin once did in his 23 years of life before he was tragically discovered dead) has a very unique method to the madness. Instead of choosing sides and expecting, "I'll give you what you ask," or, "Give me what I ask, please," I'm more of a middleman and a sort of invisible guide whose voice is very much audible, yet at the same time I'm absolutely sure that the goal I have in mind has to be the exact same as everyone else's in terms of a certain composition or piece. That'd be my style of conducting, to be honest. I'd be a middleman at the forefront of an audiological metaphorical sort of construction project of musical proportions, in that I'd try to see if there would be an answer to the question, "What would be the best way for all of us to go about this where we'd all be in agreement and unanimously figure this is the way we should approach this?"
I know, it's weird as all hell. I totally understand if that's how you would think if you read this, and I'd justify the reaction on your end. Now, granted, I'm not a conventional individual by any means, just a guy who wants to help out and be the best version of me I know I should be. I have to imagine there's a fine line between delusion and reality, and I can distinguish the both from one another though I live in my own world on my own volition, which is something I'm open to admitting I can live with comfortably. At that point, though, I'll also have to say that there's a way for some guy like me who's watched cartoons of anthropomorphic characters his whole life to be able to find the power within to capture or create some special kind of magic in the work which I try to do, to shine a light in a world shrouded in the dark and blackened cold. One faint light could allow a whole world that's blinded itself with taking an eye for having eyes taken out some brief glimmer to see and envision the animated brightness that illuminates even the blackest holes in a cosmic void. There's hope for me yet, and there's some for you, too. I'm Kevin 'The Skull' Anderson, and Ashtar's News is coming back sometime in 2025 (when is not to be stated, but you'll know it's coming because you heard it from myself). Stick around periodically as time warrants.
I'll confess, I'll never be on their level, they only came around once. Not once in a lifetime, only once. I'll never be on their level, and I'm okay with that. But, even for a brief moment, the alchemist in me (seeing how I've had a knack over the past few years for combining the styles and techniques of different musicians in my work similar to how China's Nie Shouxin once did in his 23 years of life before he was tragically discovered dead) has a very unique method to the madness. Instead of choosing sides and expecting, "I'll give you what you ask," or, "Give me what I ask, please," I'm more of a middleman and a sort of invisible guide whose voice is very much audible, yet at the same time I'm absolutely sure that the goal I have in mind has to be the exact same as everyone else's in terms of a certain composition or piece. That'd be my style of conducting, to be honest. I'd be a middleman at the forefront of an audiological metaphorical sort of construction project of musical proportions, in that I'd try to see if there would be an answer to the question, "What would be the best way for all of us to go about this where we'd all be in agreement and unanimously figure this is the way we should approach this?"
I know, it's weird as all hell. I totally understand if that's how you would think if you read this, and I'd justify the reaction on your end. Now, granted, I'm not a conventional individual by any means, just a guy who wants to help out and be the best version of me I know I should be. I have to imagine there's a fine line between delusion and reality, and I can distinguish the both from one another though I live in my own world on my own volition, which is something I'm open to admitting I can live with comfortably. At that point, though, I'll also have to say that there's a way for some guy like me who's watched cartoons of anthropomorphic characters his whole life to be able to find the power within to capture or create some special kind of magic in the work which I try to do, to shine a light in a world shrouded in the dark and blackened cold. One faint light could allow a whole world that's blinded itself with taking an eye for having eyes taken out some brief glimmer to see and envision the animated brightness that illuminates even the blackest holes in a cosmic void. There's hope for me yet, and there's some for you, too. I'm Kevin 'The Skull' Anderson, and Ashtar's News is coming back sometime in 2025 (when is not to be stated, but you'll know it's coming because you heard it from myself). Stick around periodically as time warrants.
