As an Arabian, you haven't drawn me enough and shown off my glory to the world so therefore that's all the more reason you should pick me :P

I swear you're at least like 20% of my gallery. :-P

I could be 25%!

Please good stallion, I've been a good mare all week but yet I still struggle coming to terms with my condition. I fear I may not be able to sustain my sanity much longer should I not find relief for this troublesome condition. Please good sir I beg of you, impregnate me!

But what if I’m that evil person that likes to tease, then go like “Hmmm, I’ll think about it...” What would you do then? :-P

What else is there but to continue to beg and annoy? I know we mares are full of other, more subtle and dare I say manipulative methods, but an eager mare is more than enough for any stallion who owns his own balls.

As the purest and most innocent unicorn that I am, it's just a deeply saddening thought that I have thus far only been featured twice in your gallery. Since we all know, three is the magical number and with such purity and innocence as I show off, how can you possibly not fulfilled that magical number :3

And both times they were free! :-P Though, technically, you did have to pay $150 Dollars to  Dream_Merchant to get the second one. :-P

Indeed, and as both times were free, the cycle should continue to three pieces. One could even say it's an obligation x3

I've discovred your art recently and i'm sad that I haven't found you sooner because i'm a huge fan of horse tf. Please take me, also because who knows if i'm not a genie who can grant you a wish if you pick me 🤷🏻‍♂️

Hmm, that could be true, though trying to draw with hooves may be a bit difficult, so I don’t know if I would be able to give you your reward! :-P

Listen... Getting free art from an artist like you would make all the difference in the world to me. Last week a tornado ate my mobile home and my wife took my dog and stole my favorite trucker hat. This week, the bank came and repossessed the septic tank I'd put on credit from Tractor Supply so we could all stop crapping in the creek. Now the frogs are sad because they got the poo doo on them again and we're back to having to deal with Bobby-Sue's crapsicles because there's no indoor plumbing. So you see, this is a matter of life and death and you should show pity and mercy on me because your rates are too high for a single mother living in a swamp, and you know I can get you all the exposure you could ever need and you'd totally be helping me out and saving my entire life. So yeah... You can find my character's ref sheet on my page and I can totally bomb your telegram and slide into your DMs with all of my erotic thoughts and try and RP my fantasies with you in the name of inspiration! K THNX BAI!

If the wife walked out in you, how are you a single mother?

thinking...

I had a sex change because I just loved wearing her underwear soooo much. Nothing hotter than the feeling of a g-string jammed up in your ass crack, boy oh boy! The ole twig and berries had to go. I chaffed too much and they just didn't fill things out right, and have you ever tried to sit down while tucking? Not nice. Don't hate.

So, long story short, I stubbed my toe and that's why I need this.

Long version: I was just about to go to bed and was feeling frisky. I got out my best toys; a penetrable and a dildo. Firgured, "Why not? Get both at once," but it called for some pretty awkward positions and I was off balance. Holding two different sex toys, and using both, at once takes a bit of skill. Skill that I obviously didn't have.

Unbeknownst to me, a small amount of lube had dribbled out of the back of my patented 'Loosey Lucy' fake vagina, creating a small puddle on the floor. Just as managed to get 'THE FLEXOR' full inserted into my backside, my foot landed in the puddle, causing it to slide into the foot of the bed. Instinctively, I cried out and picked up the foot, causing my other foot to also land in the tiny puddle of 'Mike's Sweaty Superlube.'

I bolted up straight in a vain attempt to catch my balance once again, causing the dildo in my ass to rocket out. My whole body, only standing on one leg from my stubbed toe, began sliding forward toward the door of my bedroom, which was consequently open as I was home alone at the time. To my horror, the small amount of lube carried me to the top of the stairs, and I tumbled down them, all the while holding on to 'Loosey Lucy', my cock, and my shame.

While falling down, tumbling at breakneck speed, I remember thinking, "What a way to go..." but no this wasn't the end of me. Upon hitting the landing, I miraculously remained conscious, though my body was twisted as a pretzel.

I'm writing this from my hospital bed after they managed to, quite literally, straighten me back out. This free art would bring comfort to me in a way that nothing else could. Mainly because it would remind me of how simple life used to be. Simply looking at beautiful horse pictures and not being reminded of the sexual deviant that I was becoming.

You wouldn’t have this problem if your bedroom was carpeted! Though, granted, you could of gotten some carpet burn in your fall, which would probably be even worse than becoming a pretzel at the foot of the stairs...

I'm sad because I'm actually being too lazy to make a made-up story because currently, I'm running low on only 2 hours of sleep while following a 3-day live stream for charity.

I’ll run this for a week or two, so feel free to put your response when your mind is a bit more fresh!

I need this because I thought my husband was cheating on me and I made a grave mistake to catch him out, and ended up in the hospital because of it - a piece of your artwork would bring me great comfort.

I've been working some longer hours, being the sole income earner for a family of four, and all I want when I get home is a nice cuddle, some lovin', bit of sexy time and attention from my husband. What have I been getting over the past few weeks though? Nothing. He's always tired. He always has an excuse for why things weren't done in the house. And he's rarely interested in having sex with me anymore - maybe on the weekend every so often, but he's seemed super distant lately.

What's the first thing that comes to my mind to explain this odd behaviour? He's cheating on me, of course. So what does my crazy self do? Well, I go into his condom stash and sit there poking holes carefully into each package (not to poke a hole in the condom itself, but just to poke a small hole in the packaging). Then I proceed to soak those fuckers in a hell-hath-no-fury-like-a-woman-scorned-concoction of chilli powder, cajin pepper, tabasco sauce, habanero sauce and whatever else looked hot and spicy in the fridge and cabinet. After a few hours of soaking, I pulled them out and dried them out and tried to make sure they looked as natural as possible.

This will teach the fucker.

A few weeks later, things were settling down at work, and I came home one Friday after work to find the house dimly lit, candles were burning and the carpet was covered with rose petals and other assorted flowers in vases lined the entrance and hall way. A note was on the front door that read:

"To my beloved,

I know I have seemed distant of late, and there is a few reasons for this. Firstly, my worry about my family back home in South Africa has been top of mind. But secondly, I’ve actually been working a cash-in-hand job on the side to save up some money for us to be able to go on a proper honeymoon to the islands. So tonight, I want to start that by saying, you have two weeks already booked off work for our time together, and our honeymoon starts now - I plan to make love to you as passionately as we did on our wedding night, so please, meet me in the bedroom.

All my heart,
Your loving husband”

Naturally, I was a bloody puddle of “awws” and “oohhhss” and the whole romance of the surprise seemed to wipe my bloody memory bank completely clean. Because what did I do? I fucking ran to the bedroom, basically stripped off on the way down the hall and jumped into the bed with the hunk of a man I married. I even helped to rip open the condom he was holding in his hand and put it on him.

Did I remember a few weeks ago when I was filled with rage? Of course not. I was surprised, in love, shocked and horny.

Fast forward a few hours after that night of passion, and where are both my husband and I now? In the Caribbean? On a beach somewhere lounging in the sun with cocktails in our hands?

Nope.

We’re in the fucking hospital. He’s basically got third degree chemical burns on his cock and balls, and my vagina looks like it’s just given birth to a set of quads at the same time and they were all equipped with razor blades for arms and chainsaws for legs. Forget the Kylie lip challenge, my pussy is so swollen that it makes Kylie Jenner’s lips look as thin as a bee’s dick.

So what would your art do for me Fus? It would give me a little something of beauty to look at when I’m screaming in utter agony trying to pee through my munted and swollen uthera, and give me a little distraction from the constant bitching of my husband moaning and sobbing about his burnt family jewels and fearing he’ll never be able to use his dick again.

Goodness homegirl! How dare he act all suspicious and such! That’s totally on him!

Looks like I won't be able to enter because I'm a fox deer and not a horse XC oh like everything horses have all the luck and I can not get a brwak, they can jump high, look beautiful and people love them while I get seen as a dirty fox for no reason and I can not jump over fences to get away from people wanting to hunt me thinking I am a rare fox breed
Oh my poor little life 😭


(Hope that's a good hilarious sob story, I could not think of anything that sounded too real)

Horses are the best! :-P I'm totally not biased...

Though I do proabably need to branch out a bit more and draw other species. Somewhat ironically, horses are much more difficult for people to draw in comparison to so many other species, so the other times I have drawn deer, I've been like "Wait, that's it?" But I love horses too much so I make myself suffer with their compicated faces. :-P

Oh yeah hehe well I do have a horse character name Faith but he's a green horse lol

Plz my grandms iz sickk!! She in hospital, I'm much sad! PLZZ!! *angelface* I luuuuv ur art, and grandmaaa to! Gief me art and she cure sickness!!! :O:O:O I am onlu 12, but I luuuuuv ur art! Teehee, I am so kinky LOL!!! PLS PLS PLEEEEEZZZEEE giec me art! I so poor! Ur drawing too expensive! U shuld giev me art free! It help me much, and GRANDMA!! =W= *hugs and humps u!*

PLSS
PLEEESSSS


T____TT

Listen Fus, I desperately need a discount on a commission from you—life kicked me in the ribs while I was squishy and weak at rock-bottom. Your art would bring a smile to the face of a man that’s lost his job, and more importantly, his family. Here’s how this shit went down.

I used to work at a factory that manufactured various home products. I was one of the operators on a line that made an egg storage container for the fridge, called the Egg Counter 9000+ “It’s eggcellent!” It was basically a white plastic box with a clear plastic lid and 14 spaces for eggs, since everyone knows that stores have a “buy 12 get 2 free” policy on purchases of cartons of eggs. Well, this life-changing gadget also displayed on a little screen at the front of the container how many eggs were inside of it. I honestly loved making these things because every time I see the finished product, I’m still amazed that someone came up with such a revolutionary device (I got a company discount, so I had like 6 of these bad larrys in my fridge at home). Not only did it account for store promotions, but it told you had many eggs you had so you didn’t have use your eyes to count them. It’s a simple spell, but quite unbreakable.

Anyways, I clearly showed the company that I was a devoted employee. I never showed up to work late, never complained on the job, never bad-mouthed the boss, and never, ever partook in the water cooler talk with the factory foreman and other employees about how useless the product was. Honestly don’t understand their lack of enthusiasm for what we made.

But that was when my life was perfect. A week ago, our distributor sent a representative out to the plant to notify the foreman that the Egg Counter counted was how much dust was on their shelves, and that it had a never-before-seen rating of -1.2 stars on Amazon. Well, the foreman brought in the big cheeses from corporate to speak with the rep and they decided to discontinue the product and shut down the factory. In just a span of 3 ½ minutes, I was out of my lucrative dream job. The worst part is that there wasn’t warning for me to start making a back-up plan. The Egg Counter was a household staple, so why would I needed to have worried about my job security?

No matter. I still had my wonderful family to go home to that day, so everything would be alright. We’d figure something out, I’d get a new job, and things would be back on track.

Unfortunately for me, Helen didn’t take too kindly to me getting laid-off. She claimed, “she had told me every day how stupid the Egg Counter 9000+ was.” That, “no one is going to buy something that tells you many eggs are in a clear box,” and that, “why are there 14 spots?! No store has a ‘buy 12 get 2 free policy’! How stupid are you?” By the evening she had packed up her and the kids’ things, and left me to wallow in misery.

Not even two days later, I was reading the classifieds of the local newspaper when I got an e-mail from my brother: It’s a freaking picture of him and my family! Helen left me for my own brother! I get it, he has everything I can only dream of having! A stable job working the night shift at a Denny’s in central Florida, a ’93 Ford Aspire, a 27” TV with over 16 low-def channels, and his high-speed internet gets 94 kBps.

So here I am, jobless, helpless, hopeless, and nearly broke. The only thing I have left to my name of value my FA account so I can still look at furry porn to fill the void.

On a serious note, apparently a product like this did exist on Amazon for a very short time. It did have 14 spots for eggs.

Oh dear!

Well, still, I did find your story to be the funniest! So you won! :-D

Woot woot!