1. Why not try volunteering in centers which help other autistic people?

2. Forums and chatrooms could be a good place to start. Shy people usually hang out on the internet, if that's what you're aiming at.

3. What about going to a furry con?

Thanks! Appreciate the suggestions!

I've not much to offer Timid... I wish you luck...

V.

An interesting thing i noticed is that a lot of my acquaintances found their SOs and mates via activities that had nothing to do with work or the ''dating scene'' but were mostly hobby-oriented: conventions, mmos, fairs, leisure activities with other people around (nature hikes, beach, picnics etc.). These activities are fun in and on themselves so even if you don't hit it out you will have a good time which will do your psyche good.

As for the places to avoid, dating apps are definitely on the top spot (it is a sh*tshow of false advertisement and digging for diamonds in a pile of rubbish), after that i would also avoid clubs and such since at best you will find a one-night-stand and at worst drink away a lot of money (small bars, breweries and such are an exception but i still advise caution). Lastly - avoid searching at your workplace if you have any, a good thing with your partner should be a different perspective they can bring into your life and vice-versa, i am not saying that you cannot find genuine love at work but from what i've seen it's mostly an exception that confirms a rule.

As for presentation - be genuine, do not go after the pickup artistry bs, just try to ''hang out'' with people and if there is a ''spark'' it should progress naturally from there. Related to the ''spark'', i am a 'realist romantic' as i believe that true love does not exist a-priori but is built through years of mutual respect and communication, so even if you find a person merely pleasant, don't be discouraged. I would hold off coming out as a furry since there is a lot of stigma there, but you can freely say that you like nerdy stuff or anything else.

Also do basic personal hygiene - you do not need to shower twice a day but keep your hair, face, mouth, armpits and pubic areas clean and do not shy from using moisturising cream as it keeps your face nice and pimple-free.

I hope that this helps you in your quest! owo

Thank you for the comment! A lot of good advice here I'll keep in mind!

Nah, you don't need a woman. You'd be happier single.

I thought that too for the longest time. Wish I still did. Its much simpler to be alone

Could ask, how you are faring with real-life company in general? Friends, probably (hopefully) including furries who you are comfortable with?

Before I left Hungary and the Covid started, it never crossed my mind that I needed someone that way. I had few, but good friends in that country, and nowadays feeling that the culture in general is such that more solitary minded individuals could find comfort living alone knowing they can meet up with good friends whenever (heck, even dragged along).

The UK so far appears to be the polar opposite in culture to me, and it affected me mentally very badly, bringing up similar needs in me, something I never ever thought of earlier in my life.

If you have real life connections around, and the culture is such that they would more like to get to know you, probably hang out with you than yourself with them, I feel probably the best would be just letting those happen. Good company can inspire, at the very least divert you from such thoughts, and well, if there is company, it is more likely that you stumble upon someone you like that way eventually, too!

I'm doing okay mostly. Lost my grandmother, who was the non-immediate family I was closest to. I have a couple friends, though its a small circle. Its hard to find people locally who share my interests and values.

I'm very solitary as well. One of my bigger concerns is that I need my space, so I cant date someone clingy. In fact I was kind of a loner for a long time. I had friends, but spent pretty limited time around them. However, I'm also realizing I need somebody. Someone to bounce ideas off of, as a contrast to my personality. I don't know if it will ever happen, but I'm also realizing I want to have a family. Don't know if I'd make that great a dad though. Just feeling things out right now.

Interesting. What changes do you dislike about your move to the UK? Not too familiar with Hungarian culture, and I only have a basic understanding of culture in the UK.

Oh yeah, I'm definitely doing that now. Most of my male friends are in the same boat though unfortunately, in that they don't know too many girls.

Sorry to hear that about your grandmother.

I feel you might rather need more real life interaction with people you are familiar and comfortable with, "Someone to bounce ideas off of, as a contrast to my personality". In Hungary, this would come easy, there it is normal to share a lot of time with friends, visiting at home, staying overnight happens easily there. Saying this since the UK is the polar opposite here, everything seemingly being very formal, British people seemingly not able to ease up at all in this regard. I don't know what the area of the States is like where you live, would hope more like Hungary in this regard.

For an introvert, like you describe yourself, it might be difficult to "get yourself going", to let chances to be together with friends happen. If you are fortunate enough to have some, probably first try to condition yourself that way. Let them come (or get out of the chair / bed, and go for a visit yourself if they like). If you have friends who might like even longer meet-ups, like more than one day, doing various stuff, let such happen, and it might help conditioning yourself as well, to get your own mind being more tolerant to not being solitary for a longer duration.

Another thing which might help you, especially if you have friends or relatives who can occasionally give a hand, is to get a dog (unless you already have one). If you some time in the future would like to commit to raising a human child... A dog might even be a nice companion to get you up to the task, (most) dogs are way less troublesome than human kids after all!

Just ideas of course, maybe could help :)

Interesting, I guess we're kind of inbetween in this area. The more social people in my area spend time with eachother regularly. Used to be the case with my family, but hasnt been the case with corona. In terms of people who don't know each other well its weird here. Some people are very distrusting until you get to know them. Others are warm and trusting from the onset. Never know what to expect. Its a suburb though. Nothing but farms here till the 1960s. No well established community. But in the older more stable established areas people can be friendlier. Parts of the nearby towns are like that. One town has had some of the same families that have been there for generations, so the residents know each other pretty well.

Sounds like a good suggestion. I've been to cons with friends before, where we spent several days together, and always enjoyed it. Trying to do a road trip with one of my local friends soon. Done day trips with several friends before.

I have a dog, though hes the family dog. Parents usually feed him since they're up the earliest. Taken care of him myself several times when they're away though.

Nice, doing about the right things then!

One more I could suggest is looking out for activities you might be interested in. Whether some volunteering group might be nearby you didn't know about? Vintage machinery, preservation of a historical place, such things, it could even be that they don't much "advertise" that they take volunteers, but going there, asking around, you might find they do.

So look around for things interesting to you, and be a bit active about it, try to figure out whether you could get involved. It could be a good way to get friends!

Alright, will do

Wouldn't know much friend. I've never had a steady relationship. I'm still waiting on my chance.