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*Grabs a Dustpan and Broom...*
3 years ago
*proceeds to brush off numerous cobwebs, and an unexplained indoor tumbleweed*
Yup, this time the rumors are true–it's me. Seriously!
I've already had to prove my identity on several occasions recently to a few I already contacted, including a couple of phone calls and memory trivia tests...which, I mean, that's understandable. I'll explain more in a moment, but the immediate takeaway here is, I'm okay. I'm safe, alive and well, all limbs accounted for. I've more recently seen the volume of social wonderings, rumors, and general concern for my well-being online, and while even I can't account for every single point of public confusion, I'll do my best. Here goes.
Whether you've followed my bizarre disappearance/withdrawl from the community in 2017, or you're coming in fresh, and wondering who the hell I am, I can offer a footnotes version of what actually happened. If we did the novel, we'd be here all night:
In early 2017, it probably looked like I was steadily waning with my interests here. I commented about wanting to move on to other things, then all my stuff vanished from my page, then I finally bowed out–well, comics aside. We'll get to that.
It probably looked like I woke up one morning with cartoon hypno-eyes, and was like 'Eh, I think I'll give up everything I built here online and blow whatever goodwill I had garnered, to take care of Voco', who I had already been in contact with for a time before this point. I'd had a rocky relationship/friendship with him for years, on and off. He came from a legit nasty homelife, abuse, the whole nine. People talk like he was Satan in the flesh, but...not really. He was a confused, busted guy with flimsy social skills, and a lifetime of bad habit training, and a part of me did care about him, despite the fact we didn't always get along.
What some of you witnessed in 2017 wasn't a sudden eruption, but the tail end of a long, long, loooong wick, that had been lit since 2006. I didn't just wake up one day and say 'sure, I'll leave to help you out and we'll live together', because he asked one day. The idea of our living together had been floated on and off for over a decade. Blunt honesty: I could say no all the other times, leading up to 2017, because I knew there was always somewhere else he could go, or it at least seemed that way. My saying no wouldn't put him out on the street, I thought. So, if you find yourself thinking 'Jesus, DNA, you really need to learn to say no'...well, I actually did. Many times.
Well, in 2017, it happened. He genuinely was on the outs with his family, and was looking to be evicted from his place, and out on the street. Well, when it was clear there was nowhere else he could go...yeah. That was the Shotgun Wedding, the do-or-die point. And the truth is, I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell him no, that time. There was no other place to pass that buck. I looked into places he could go on his own, but neither of our credit was that great. I even looked into shelters and the YMCA, and when nothing worked, I finally, finally agreed.
After that, for some time, I was in something close to a fugue state. I was pretty despondent, and I just sort of agreed to things with him, out of my head. Well, I mean, we still argued about some things. I had a journal I was going to post up, it got edited, we argued more about the edits, until I just sort of faded off and posted it edited, just to stop it–which was the journal sitting here for years. It was a war of attrition, and I had the severe handicap. To that effect, YES...I did genuinely want to do other things, non-macro. I still do. But, I didn't mean for that sentiment to come out the way it did, like I was done with furry, period. The only reason I left was because...well, Voco was already held in a certain light, and I don't know who would disagree with the notion that my staying here AND taking care of him full-time was nearly impossible. At least taking him away, that would be that.
Only, it wasn't. Shortly after his arrival and our moving into a small 1-room apartment together, he suffered a Pulmonary Embolism, and made it through. He was on warfarin for half a year. It was tough, but things weren't too terrible. We disagreed on things, but...eh. A little later, word got out about Voco's past, and it was like some tabloid expose hit. He did concerning stuff in the past, but it was in self-defense. Seriously. I saw the evidence in print, myself. Everyone got insanely worried, from that point.
And don't think my tone means I'm just blindly defending him. We'll get to that.
So, time passes. Very, very long story short, things deteriorated. We argued, then outright fought in a pretty steady pattern. Some days were okay, some were extremely ugly. Comics maintained rent and bills for a surprisingly long while, but soon I had to take on work to compensate for the boycott. We'll cut to the next part:
It was early 2020, we'd talked, and some ultimatums had been established. He thought it would be justifiable to cross a certain line, and I very loudly disagreed. In no uncertain terms, I terminated our arrangement, and told him goodbye. To his credit, he went ahead and left, and has gone onto other things since. I am to understand from communiques sent that things in his life are actually...looking up. He had lost like 80lbs and was on a diet when he left, he reconnected with his family, and I believe he found work and is trying therapy. Those tibdits came some time ago, but I sincerely hope he's doing better. That would be nice.
With that all said, I am not speaking to him. A lot of damage was done, and while I would just as soon never see him again, I make no call for blood, no revenge for being wronged, so on, so forth. I can only hope that those who wish him ill can leave him be, if not forgive. That's my hope, at least. I won't tell anyone what to do. It'd be hypocritical for me to regain my freedom, then turn around and start telling others what to think. You disagree with that thinking, that's your right. But to engage him would be to continue the cycle, and I'm just...I'm done. No more. That's my own call.
So...since that time, why didn't I just come running back?
I was tempted, yeah. But I was in bad shape. Mentally, physically, financially. I'd love to play it all off with jokes and act fine, but there was a toll. Had I come right back, I'd have likely imploded in less than a month, tops. I honestly didn't feel well enough to message others until recently, and even contacting people I loved was nervewracking. It might sound ridiculous, but a lot happened. Like, a lot. I had spent last year trying to focus on working at the job I had to take, after the comic boycott had done its damage. That job was good enough that I stayed on, though I admit, I'm still climbing out of debt. To be clear, I had some debt before he entered the picture, but it...increased, during our time together.
As for money, let's get this out of the way: I understand why the boycott happened. It's easy to understand. But I don't condone it, and it didn't even remotely work. All it did was make an already-incredibly-hard task way, way harder. You can't save someone from the 'cancer' by blowing holes in the patient with a 'saving' gun. Still, I get it. It was misguided, but hell, so was my setting half of everything aside, to take care of him, when I knew he was unstable. So.
That said, I'm still sorry. I'm sorry for vanishing in such a fashion, and for the confusion and fear it spread. I didn't mean to scare so many of you like that, nobody deserves that. I wasn't myself then, and I'm not really sure what I am now. I'm not going to become some embittered dick or anything, so please, don't worry! <X3 I'm just...still figuring it out.
I don't exactly know how to proceed, despite constantly thinking about it. I have some ideas, but that can wait a short bit. I think you all might need time to process this, the same as I did. And still do.
We'll get to art, what I should do with my page, comics, and all that shortly. I still have some owed pictures long-standing, which only adds to the embarrassment over this whole thing. And that was a problem Voco had nothing to do with, I was lousy about completing multiple commissions/projects well beforehand, and that's the truth. It just floors me that you all were as kind as you were to me, even when I was stuck or dragging my feet on some achingly slow work. Like I said, we'll get to that very soon, in a follow-up journal.
But for now...hi! <:)
I'm back.
*passes out, using the tumbleweed for a pillow*
--Dh
Yup, this time the rumors are true–it's me. Seriously!
I've already had to prove my identity on several occasions recently to a few I already contacted, including a couple of phone calls and memory trivia tests...which, I mean, that's understandable. I'll explain more in a moment, but the immediate takeaway here is, I'm okay. I'm safe, alive and well, all limbs accounted for. I've more recently seen the volume of social wonderings, rumors, and general concern for my well-being online, and while even I can't account for every single point of public confusion, I'll do my best. Here goes.
Whether you've followed my bizarre disappearance/withdrawl from the community in 2017, or you're coming in fresh, and wondering who the hell I am, I can offer a footnotes version of what actually happened. If we did the novel, we'd be here all night:
In early 2017, it probably looked like I was steadily waning with my interests here. I commented about wanting to move on to other things, then all my stuff vanished from my page, then I finally bowed out–well, comics aside. We'll get to that.
It probably looked like I woke up one morning with cartoon hypno-eyes, and was like 'Eh, I think I'll give up everything I built here online and blow whatever goodwill I had garnered, to take care of Voco', who I had already been in contact with for a time before this point. I'd had a rocky relationship/friendship with him for years, on and off. He came from a legit nasty homelife, abuse, the whole nine. People talk like he was Satan in the flesh, but...not really. He was a confused, busted guy with flimsy social skills, and a lifetime of bad habit training, and a part of me did care about him, despite the fact we didn't always get along.
What some of you witnessed in 2017 wasn't a sudden eruption, but the tail end of a long, long, loooong wick, that had been lit since 2006. I didn't just wake up one day and say 'sure, I'll leave to help you out and we'll live together', because he asked one day. The idea of our living together had been floated on and off for over a decade. Blunt honesty: I could say no all the other times, leading up to 2017, because I knew there was always somewhere else he could go, or it at least seemed that way. My saying no wouldn't put him out on the street, I thought. So, if you find yourself thinking 'Jesus, DNA, you really need to learn to say no'...well, I actually did. Many times.
Well, in 2017, it happened. He genuinely was on the outs with his family, and was looking to be evicted from his place, and out on the street. Well, when it was clear there was nowhere else he could go...yeah. That was the Shotgun Wedding, the do-or-die point. And the truth is, I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell him no, that time. There was no other place to pass that buck. I looked into places he could go on his own, but neither of our credit was that great. I even looked into shelters and the YMCA, and when nothing worked, I finally, finally agreed.
After that, for some time, I was in something close to a fugue state. I was pretty despondent, and I just sort of agreed to things with him, out of my head. Well, I mean, we still argued about some things. I had a journal I was going to post up, it got edited, we argued more about the edits, until I just sort of faded off and posted it edited, just to stop it–which was the journal sitting here for years. It was a war of attrition, and I had the severe handicap. To that effect, YES...I did genuinely want to do other things, non-macro. I still do. But, I didn't mean for that sentiment to come out the way it did, like I was done with furry, period. The only reason I left was because...well, Voco was already held in a certain light, and I don't know who would disagree with the notion that my staying here AND taking care of him full-time was nearly impossible. At least taking him away, that would be that.
Only, it wasn't. Shortly after his arrival and our moving into a small 1-room apartment together, he suffered a Pulmonary Embolism, and made it through. He was on warfarin for half a year. It was tough, but things weren't too terrible. We disagreed on things, but...eh. A little later, word got out about Voco's past, and it was like some tabloid expose hit. He did concerning stuff in the past, but it was in self-defense. Seriously. I saw the evidence in print, myself. Everyone got insanely worried, from that point.
And don't think my tone means I'm just blindly defending him. We'll get to that.
So, time passes. Very, very long story short, things deteriorated. We argued, then outright fought in a pretty steady pattern. Some days were okay, some were extremely ugly. Comics maintained rent and bills for a surprisingly long while, but soon I had to take on work to compensate for the boycott. We'll cut to the next part:
It was early 2020, we'd talked, and some ultimatums had been established. He thought it would be justifiable to cross a certain line, and I very loudly disagreed. In no uncertain terms, I terminated our arrangement, and told him goodbye. To his credit, he went ahead and left, and has gone onto other things since. I am to understand from communiques sent that things in his life are actually...looking up. He had lost like 80lbs and was on a diet when he left, he reconnected with his family, and I believe he found work and is trying therapy. Those tibdits came some time ago, but I sincerely hope he's doing better. That would be nice.
With that all said, I am not speaking to him. A lot of damage was done, and while I would just as soon never see him again, I make no call for blood, no revenge for being wronged, so on, so forth. I can only hope that those who wish him ill can leave him be, if not forgive. That's my hope, at least. I won't tell anyone what to do. It'd be hypocritical for me to regain my freedom, then turn around and start telling others what to think. You disagree with that thinking, that's your right. But to engage him would be to continue the cycle, and I'm just...I'm done. No more. That's my own call.
So...since that time, why didn't I just come running back?
I was tempted, yeah. But I was in bad shape. Mentally, physically, financially. I'd love to play it all off with jokes and act fine, but there was a toll. Had I come right back, I'd have likely imploded in less than a month, tops. I honestly didn't feel well enough to message others until recently, and even contacting people I loved was nervewracking. It might sound ridiculous, but a lot happened. Like, a lot. I had spent last year trying to focus on working at the job I had to take, after the comic boycott had done its damage. That job was good enough that I stayed on, though I admit, I'm still climbing out of debt. To be clear, I had some debt before he entered the picture, but it...increased, during our time together.
As for money, let's get this out of the way: I understand why the boycott happened. It's easy to understand. But I don't condone it, and it didn't even remotely work. All it did was make an already-incredibly-hard task way, way harder. You can't save someone from the 'cancer' by blowing holes in the patient with a 'saving' gun. Still, I get it. It was misguided, but hell, so was my setting half of everything aside, to take care of him, when I knew he was unstable. So.
That said, I'm still sorry. I'm sorry for vanishing in such a fashion, and for the confusion and fear it spread. I didn't mean to scare so many of you like that, nobody deserves that. I wasn't myself then, and I'm not really sure what I am now. I'm not going to become some embittered dick or anything, so please, don't worry! <X3 I'm just...still figuring it out.
I don't exactly know how to proceed, despite constantly thinking about it. I have some ideas, but that can wait a short bit. I think you all might need time to process this, the same as I did. And still do.
We'll get to art, what I should do with my page, comics, and all that shortly. I still have some owed pictures long-standing, which only adds to the embarrassment over this whole thing. And that was a problem Voco had nothing to do with, I was lousy about completing multiple commissions/projects well beforehand, and that's the truth. It just floors me that you all were as kind as you were to me, even when I was stuck or dragging my feet on some achingly slow work. Like I said, we'll get to that very soon, in a follow-up journal.
But for now...hi! <:)
I'm back.
*passes out, using the tumbleweed for a pillow*
--Dh
Welcome back, DNA.
and, hi.
I know that we weren't exactly close but I was scathed by Voco more than just the average person who saw your gallery up and disappear one day. I'm still not sure to this day how I feel about all of it, but if there's one thing I can definitely look forward to is seeing you back, active, and in a happy place.
There's been a big you-shaped hole out there in the wild and while it might not fit exactly the way it was, I hope you can still find a comfy way to settle in however you so choose. Welcome back!
*Cleans up the bed and tucks you in* sleep well
Good to have you back after so many years.
But do take the time you need to recover from this whole ordeal.
I always enjoyed your growth comics, they're... legendaries... even... mythicals in my eyes! One of my (nearly) impossible dream is to get a wonderful growth comic from you someday! X//3
I don't think we've ever spoken, but I've always been a fan of your work and still remember the shock of you leaving back then - still, I didn't actually probe further, so this whole story is even more surprising to me. I am glad you're back and if you ever want an oldish macro furry to talk that also has changed a fair bit... Feel free to reach out. :)
Keep it up, take it at the pace you need - and welcome back! :)
And take your time to get back into the art scene. You deserve all that rest and peace of mind after all that you’ve been through *Hugs*
Welcome back, DNA <=3
Welcome home.
I kept the planet somewhat tidy in case you needed a place to sit once again. Let’s get caught back up sometime soon and start doing comics together! However much I want to jump back into life with all four paws with you, I understand there’s probably going to be a lot to handle, so please take your time and regrow into it as you need to.
*HUG*
For me, it just became uncomfortable to support with so many unknowns. plus I had almost no idea when a new comic was even up many of the time without FA Alert posts.
*MACRO BOOB HUG
I'm very glad to hear that you're okay in one piece after what you have gone through for years. :x
Takes your time to get back in scene. No need to rush. There will be alot of people happy to see you back again. :)
I sure have missed you as everyone else did. ^^
We can only image all the pain and issue you had. But we’re all here to welcome you back with open arms.
Welcome back!
I don't think any rational person would fault you for trying to do the right thing for others as well as yourself.
It is good to hear from you though, I hope things begin to look up from here big guy.
If you ever need help yourself, don't be afraid to ask eh?
I wish you the best in getting where you want to be in a number of places
You deserve good things your way
I'll be honest, we didn't know one another really, but there wasn't a day that went by these past few years that I didn't think about you or hope that you were ok.
There's a lot I want to ask, and a few things I want to say, and I hope we have a chance to talk at some point. But for now...welcome back. We all missed you!
really really missed you man. I think there's a lot more that I could say but bottom line is that I'm glad you're back.
Stay awesome and know that you're always loved buddy
It’s an absolute delight to know you’re doing ok and on the up and up (pun somewhat intended).
Here’s to a big and growy future, no?
You were such a huge influence for me when I started as a furry and it was crushing when the comic archives I admittedly read on ehentai disappeared but it’s so glad to have you back.
Also, when you finally clean up your backlog, pls finish Flex X3
The King is back!!!
Make sure to take care of yourself first for sure first. Mental health and such is important, and I wish you well.
You are the reason I am in the fandom. It was your works back in 2012 that I first saw of the fandom. You were that first furry face I ever saw. The kindness in your posts, the smiles you made with your art, the person you were; wholesome, kind, inspiring, caring. I've never seen, for the time, a macro artist who shared those traits like you did. I joined the fandom then and there mentally; the art took 4 years to follow and my Sona and my stories years after that. But your art and then you as a person brought that to me.
The friends I've made, the stories I've told, the joys I've seen because of it. You helped to make all of that possible with just being yourself. I was shy, afraid, I didn't know what to say. What would you say to the one you looked up to for so long? So I figured maybe by writing stories, bonding with others, sharing that kindness I saw in you I'd be able to carry it on like you did.
When 2017 happened I watched from the sidelines. Confused, frustrated for a time, remorseful ever since. Since 2017 I've tried to carry that same positive influence you've been to my friends and into the stuff I do. Even if it's macro, or just furry things as furries do, I always wanted to keep that energy, kindness, wholesomeness in there. While I still have a long way to go, I'm smiling and possibly crying now that I get even a sliver of a chance to let you know.
You matter DNA. Life right now may feel like fragments of a statue to what you once were. To pick up what pieces there are and to find a new picture to make from them. But if it feels dark, I hope you know from all of us in the furry community - as countless comments and messages of love and support show - that you matter to a lot of us.
You matter especially so to those like me. Forget the macro forget the muscle. I wouldn't be here if you didn't take the steps to be who you are, and for a lot of us who joined the fandom because of what you've created and the stories you inspired? You matter to all of us too.
It's good to see you back DNA. I know I'll support you and what you do no matter what. And as the comments of support and shouts of love like the seas come pouring in, I hope it helps so much.
It's a new world friend, and it's good to see you back.
I hope that, when you are ready, that we can get to talking again. I missed you dude, a lot of us have.
I am just happy for you. ^^
All I can say is I'm happy to see you well and healthy. Welcome back big guy. No one filled your shoes while you were away. No one could, ever.
Considering the, ahem, state of the world these last few... many... years, it's nice to have some good news like this. You're welcomed with open arms by me, unconditionally.
Either way, welcome back.
You've been in my mind here and there since you left; I still have all those files from No Good Deed sitting in my Dropbox, and click past them often enough that I'd keep wondering how things went down.
Crazy to hear what's been going on but as long as you're alright in the end! 💚
Look forward to seeing what your return brings!
Man, everyone was missing you!
Welcome back!
Here's to hoping the Worst is now well and truly behind you
I'm sure you'll be swamped with people flocking to you during this return but gosh it would be so cool to chat with ya in the future, so hopefully our paths will cross eventually :3
I hope no one gives you shit over that owed stuff and tries to understand your situation, it's certainly something that has been in the rumor mill till it has turned to fine powder.
Welcome back. Or would it be better to say, Welcome! I hope you enjoy our community here!
You probably don't know me as I've been a silent watcher, but I want you to know that your art has always been a big source of inspiration for me. It's amazing to see you back!
Here's to brighter days ahead! <3
}nwn{
For real though, welcome back, my dude! Here's to a fresh start and a better leg up in life. I wish you the best of luck getting everything situated <3
*offers big kitty dragon winghugs*
But it's great to have you back regardless, DNA. You're an inspiration. <3
The distrust runs strong still. People still asking about the situation. Extreme rumors still linger even when people point out that internet folks don't know the whole story in these situations. As someone who tries to lean towards logic I'll warn you some things in the journal here still could add fuel to those fires stoked in your absence.
And after that needless ramble...
Good to see you back DNA.
S'all I can really say
Glad to see that you're doing decently and that you're alive and well. Hopefully things can get even better for ya. Your art was amazing and to hear that you're okay and safe is great!
I'm here for ya if you ever need someone to talk to. I know you're still getting back into the ease of things and messaging some random person is probably weird, but the offer is on the table for ya.
I hope today is a fantastic day and that your week is amazing as well! Keep being awesome
missed your art and just start with a clean slate now? would also nice to see your old art again. maybe in scraps or something.
But most importantly the guy who had big influence for me to be here is back.
Welcome back. You've been missed. You seat's been saved, and someone will be along shortly for drink orders. Stay a while, even if it's meant to be a short visit, and relax.
Seriously you have no idea how i reacted when i saw your journal with your name on it, i flipped and had to read the entire journal! Over 150 people replied to you in about 4 hours! I'm so happy and glad that you're safe. I'm really sorry you had to go through all of this, but i'm again glad that you're slowly getting back up!
Please consider making a patreon someday! if you're still having money/debt problems, i want to throw my monthly support for you! Welcome back king! We're all here for you once again! <3
Your adult art was also the first 18+ stuff I ever saw online!
and take as much time as you feel you need. no worries for a rush or such. we are all here to support you through and through
Sometimes life comes hard and fast and we can only do the best we can to deal with it. But I'm sure you know far better than I do how many friends you have that care about you and Fans that you have around here that were worried for you and are so glad to hear that you are doing well.
Obviously take all the time you need to get back to a place where you feel comfortable whether that does or doesn't include the furry community. But I'm sure a lot of people, myself included, are just happy to hear you're doing well
Welcome back, man. :)
Exa-
Words can't describe how relieved I am to find you back with us safe and well.
Finally some good news in what's been such a brutal span of 5 years.
That gaping, macro-sized hole in the fandom has been filled. :D
Even if you go with entirely new subject matter and changed style, I hope you continue your art work, even if you don't share it with us fuzzy folks. A delightful artist is a terrible thing to lose, most of all for the artist.
Welcome back, and take your time settling back in.
Glad to hear that you're getting the chance to figure it all out, and I wish you the very best of luck in doing so.
Keep taking care!
I hope the furry community continues to welcome you back with open arms. I know this is a place I won't leave anytime soon myself. And you should be proud how your work has molded countless people here to pursue their own adventures in bigness.
It was a pleasure bumping into you at Anthrcon 2016. I hope to see you again at a convention if things do continue to improve for you. Best of luck in getting settling back in. I'm sure there is a lot to do and set up for sure.
Welcome back
Welcome back!
Take your time, draw what you want (if you want), and thank you for this message.
I hope with this we can all share a bright future with you~!
^____________________^
It's SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN!
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome welcome welcome back you lovely growth-inducing superfriend!
Be well and be loved <3
It's been rough but certainly hope you overcome your problems and step forward once again.
Welcome back big fella! 💙😋
I had always wondered how you’ve been doing, so this journal was a surprise…. And quite a read, I’m glad you’re OK for the most part :3
But for now definitely take your time with things, seems like quite a ride you’ve had.
Again it’s great to see ya back <3
Hope that the rumors and backlash from your being gone isn't eating away at you too much, and escaping that negative influence wasn't easy. Hope you take the time you need to get yourself back into art and stuffs~
To be finally able to hear things from your perspective and have a conclusion to the many, many endless guesses, worries and confusions about you and your relations with the person you took care of settles my, as well as anyone's, mind at peace.
Make yourself at home again, DNA.
Love ya, big guy. Always have.
FA -- CAN I PLEASE FAVORITE JOURNALS? Just this once? No? Dammit. ; ;
Oh uh...also should clarify this is Midnight ^^; this is my alt account.
Welcome back, DNA! Things just didn't quite feel the same without you.
I hate that all that happened to you, but...I'm glad to hear that you're recovering from it, and that the other guy is actually doing better now. Take all the time you need to recover, it's pretty clear that the furry community stands beside you, no matter how long it takes
It's really, really nice to see you back again and that you're relatively well. Everything I said in that message is still true, you're still one of my absolute favorite artists and knowing you're safe and recovering is a really awesome unexpected joy.
Like many others, I’m relieved to see this from you and…yeah. Not good with words.
I’m sorry to hear all the things you’ve gone through. No one should have to suffer what’s been going on. Myself, among everyone else, will be here to support you and do our damndest to treat you right. Granted that’s hypocritical after…things, but you hopefully get the idea.
After all…I can’t ever treat the guy who gave me a huge “rocking” start in this place horrible. He’s way too good for that.
Take care, man. We’re here for you.
Having the legend back is good, having a friend of the community back is far more important. ^^
Hope that you can free yourself soon enough from the stressful years and enjoy what may come forth after them. Welcome back, DNA.
It is crazy how long it has been and life having ups and downs, looking back a decade now, your artworks inspired me a lot.
Maybe it was a coincidence, but sometime in late 2020 while streaming art, Voco came watch without me knowing who he was. We spoke about Pink Floyd music and somewhat about life. He seemed to do a lot of introspection at the time
Who knows, hope it all goes for the better
Yours truly, a tiny two foot tall blue kobold.
I cannot believe this was true when I was being told but HOLY SHIT it is really you! Welcome back big guy!
Things have changed here and there, many macro artists have emerged thanks to you and I'm sure everyone is happy to see you thrive again. Up and up you go big guy!
Welcome back, bud.
Glad that you managed to pull through all of that, since a lot of others would have honestly buckled under the strain. I hope things continue to improve for ya.
I...don't even know what to say.
Take whatever time you need to collect things and organize the shelves as it were, I think everyone here can agree that we're just glad to see you again. Whatever it is you wanna go you got people here to support ya. Keep strong duder, and welcome back!
Just do what you want to do when the time is right. No pressure. We're all still here, all still supportive.
I was one of the guys buying the comics for awhile ("Boob Camp," naturally. <3 ) but after awhile I started asking myself why. I had no idea at that point who the money was actually going to, what it was being used for, and I started thinking that I might be enabling some sort of abusive situation. So I ignored the later releases, and even those ended up disappearing soon after.
I'm glad to hear that you're rebuilding, and addressing your own interests. That's most important of all, that you pursue what makes YOU happy. We're still here for you.
Either way, I'm glat that everything is over. But please take your time, I would love to see your artwork again, but do it when you're feeling ready. We're waiting!
I hope you're ok now from all that craziness and you can take it easy from now on. Take care!
and I hope you can continue to heal.
^.=.^
I-I am so pleased you are not dead!
Seriously, when I saw what was going down all those years ago, part of me wanted to figure out a way to get a message out to you, untouched by Voco, telling you good luck with your endeavors and that there are still people here who care about you and will miss you greatly (as evidenced by the responses here. =>.>=;; )
And now, PRRRRF! =O.O=
So glad you're okay, after reading about the ordeal you've been through. *offers hugs*
But yes, take your time to recover and hopefully get back into the swing of things. We'll be here, always ready to support you whenever you're ready.
And hope we can hang out again at a con sometime. Whenever that happens, of course. ^^;;;
I'm just glad to hear any kind of sign again that you're still alive and well.
Welcome back, Dnapalmhead, sir.
Welcome back!
We've missed you bud.
I am so, so glad you are okay and well (as can be after what you went through.) Please take your time in recovering, lord knows you need the rest and healing right now. FA will still be here when you're good and ready to post submissions or wherever your heart takes you. I am just so happy you're alright!
Welcome back!
You were one of my biggest (pun intended) influences in my decision to join the furry fandom. I never was really sure why you left and whether or not it was something you wanted -- hoo boy, today's news on that is a lot to process -- but seeing the people close to you overjoyed to see you back fills me with relief. Whatever you do next, I wish you and your loved ones the best of luck.
I hope you work out what you need.
Welcome back. You were missed.
I hope in time you'll flex those drawing muscles again, it would be amazing to find out the thrilling conclusion to Boob Camp at last! :D Welcome back and good luck!!
ROAR ROAR ROAR!!
And that is one heck of a story. Man...but I took your leaving more as wanting to just go about things in your own way. Like maybe you were done with furry, but wanted to branch out more.
Either way, I'm glad you decided to return. And I do hope you can find a routine and workload and set that works out for you overall. I know you were very happy to dole out free art now and then, but I also understand that, well, money does need to be made one way or another.
Anywho...hope you enjoy your return and hope for better things. :)
I hope things regain some sense of normalcy for you soon and that the joy of creation finds you once more. Please be well!
Honestly I know a fair bit from my own life/roommate/experiences how rough it must've been, I'm glad you found a conclusion to it all DNA. Seeya around!
*puts a nice blanket over-top the tumbleweed to make it comfy*
Wow.
...Wow.
After reading all that, I'm glad you are OK! Thank goodness!!!!
I'm glad you're in a better position, and I wish you the best with finishing pulling yourself together. Welcome back! 🧡
Regarding the whooole story... yeeaa, can relate to some extent. While on a much shorter timespan and most certainly with a lot less grief as a result, I've been in a situation myself with what was actually a rather toxic friendship eventually ruining myself. Thankfully it did so when I was about to move together with that person, only to later find out I fortunately dodged a Magnum-sized bullet there.
Anyway, am rambling a bit.
From one blue-and-grey draggy to another, welcome back!! Take it easy for now, let it all settle down, you probably kicked up a metric ton of dust here for now. :D Have a fun time again hopefully <3
Sorry, I know this is rambly, but what I really want to say is that as someone who's been a fan for a long time, it's good to find out that you're okay. As far as what you have planned for the future, as long as you're getting back on your feet and working through whatever you need to with the people who care about you, that's the most important thing.
You were one of the 3 great artist paragons I looked up to, ones that put effort and detail into their drawings and drove me to be a better artist. Having you back is a nice consolation for all the chaos and havoc going on these days. Its good to have you back. And if you ever need creative mind to bounce ideas with Im always here.
(N.B.: tumbleweeds are not good pillows)
I am so very happy right now to know that you're alive. You don't know how much I've missed you, pal.
I don't know you. I know little about you. And I have no right to judge you. I know little to nothing of you or what choices you have made.
But I know I was worried about you, just like many others here. I am glad to hear you are alive and well.
As for your decisions; those are yours. No one else can tell you whether or not you made the right ones. That is your responsibility.
But for what little it may matter, I think you really are doing the best you can. Now is the time to take care of yourself. You deserve it.
As for your art; you are an artist. Do whatever you damn well please. Regardless of genre or content, the ones who appreciate your art will love what you create. So create what YOU want to, and what YOU are proud of. I can guarantee we'll love whatever you love to make.
It is good to see a living legend return to the stage. Now rest up and take care of yourself.
*Moves tumbleweed away, replaces it with a pillow and throws a blanket over you.*
It's good to see you! Welcome back, titan.
*virtual hug*
Like a lot of people here, your artwork was some of the earliest I saw upon discovering the furry fandom many years ago. Things have changed a lot since then, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss seeing your work pop up here. It really did go a long way towards cementing my interest in this fandom and wanting to find out more about what it has to offer. Hopefully sometime after you've recuperated, it'll start making its way back here again.
For now, though: welcome back, man.
I say take things easy and slow at the moment. But do know that you have been missed, just look at everyone commenting here as proof of that! Here's hoping that the future is better and bigger for you!
It is good to see you back, but just remember you owe no obligation to anyone here. If you need to destress and get away thats your choice :) **offers hugs and some cookies**
I'm delighted to have you back, my friend. Take your return in a pace and manner in which you're comfortable.
Welcome back mister.
Sounds like some very rough years, good to hear you are working it out even still.
Life is really not easy and to some can hit even harder.
It is already good to hear you are alive and working on getting well <3
Take your time, find your new way in this place and hope (though it seems you have) you will be welcomed back with wamth nwn
Welcome back, mister DNA!
There's a certain shock I feel right now...like the kind where someone you'd swear was a ghost just stepped through the door.
While your story was a task to read, we do understand that life occurs, and has its funny ways of toying around with us.
However, what is MOST important, is that you are safe, sound, and still you. 5 years may have passed since you closed up shop, but many of us have been enjoying your work even still.
A lot has occurred to us in 5 years time as well… some more pleasant than others, but we are still here. At the end of the day, we’re just relieved to see that you’re back - safe and sound.
You don’t need to apologize. You didn’t commit any wrong doing. You had your mind made up. And we understood.
And judging by the hundreds of comments that are welcoming you back? I think the only thing you need to do, is just make yourself at home once more.🥰
It is really overwhelming to see so many comments, so let me just say then also welcome back DNA! :D
WELCOME BACK!!!
Welcome back DNA
Being honest, I had no idea about any of this going on, and I was a fairly lax lurker to not look into things; after all, doing what you did was your choice and who am I to argue against it when I'm mostly here for the art to gawk at?
That said, I've certainly changed in time and as I read through this I'm only more aware that a lot has happened for you, and everyone else. As a much younger part of me cheers to see you back, and is hopeful to commission someday or otherwise support you, a more mature part urges you to simply do what you need to do.
If possible, don't rush, take your time and plan things out. Take care of yourself and keep doing what you feel is best to do. Mental health is important, and I've learned that all too painfully.
So once more, from this random dude who's been watching you forever, I'm glad you're okay. Welcome back.
I know this message is probably going to get lost in the sea of other comments this journal will have, but I would just like to say welcome back. I know myself, and many others, are very happy to see you again. Don't be afraid to ever speak out if you need help with anything
Welcome back
Best wishes - Alex
Dwelling on the past does nothing ! Enjoy the present and look forward for the future. It took alot of courage to return ! Please don't feel you need to jump in the deep end ! Take baby steps. The out pouring of replies here is proof to how much we all care about you.
I look forward to catching up man <3 welcome back!
Welcome back, bub! 🤗💗👌🏽🐉
I hope you are truly okay now and that we can talk again (even though I honestly have not a clue what to really talk about, or where to do said talking...). ;w; ❤️🫂
All these years back when you were my fur dad, you were a true father figure for me. You helped me when I was not handling life very well and always offered a digital hug and supported me. I'd like to be like that for you now too, to be there for you in your darkest days and moments and help you cheer up and feel loved like you did for me. ='3 ❤️🫂
I've missed you, DNA.
I' so glad you're back and on the road towards getting better.
Take your time getting back into things, but we are here to help and support you.
^,..,^
It's just good to hear from you again man, it was a worrying way to exit but it's good to hear that for better or for worse things have somehow worked out.
Here's hoping things stay on the upside ^^
Welcome Back DNA <3.
Maybe I should try to enjoy some ‘free lunch’es when I get the chance!
-Decadend/Garebel.
I've been a fan of your work since I even first joined the whole furry thing many years ago. When I heard about your situation and regarding Voco, people were not talking about him positively, and made the situation look worrysom. But I'm glad you, and Voco are well and things are getting better. And I hope things keep getting better, for both you and Voco! I look forward to seeing your work again, and I especially look forwards to purchasing your comics again!
*gives big massive hugs*
Everyone of your fans hoped for your returnal and that day finally cometh
WELCOME BACK DNA! ＼(T▽T)／ 🌸cheers and make cheery blossoms to fly and fall everywhere 🌸
Also, my name is Seien, nice to meet you ^^
By the way if you're interested/need it I have all you're old work saved (including scraps), so just let me know and I will send it to you ASAP.
I remember not long before you disappeared you uploaded a ref sheet for DNA and I really wanted to draw him than. now I have a reason to do that again. Now just to find the time for it as with many things I haven't been able to get to. I guess I at least made a 3D DNA bust sculpt way back than, it's still up in my gallery.
Hope everything has been alright on your end
I just found out about this post that you made a little while ago, so it's quite possible that anything that I say is going to have been echoed by any of other... ... 373 comments before me. (Who am I kidding, DEFINITELY echoed.)
First off, GLAD THAT YOU'RE DOING ALRIGHT. I want to say 'that you're doing alright' instead of 'that you're back' because if you staying off for longer was better for you, then I'd be in support of it, even if I would've never known. Now that you're here sharing all of this with us, I'm glad to hear that things at least seem to be on the mend on your end. You being back with us is a bonus, that's for sure, but I wouldn't want you to sacrifice any mental health or anything just to appease the minds of us.
Secondly, as someone who doesn't know who Voco is or any of the issues they had or might've had, I feel that it is just for me to kind'a just... acknowledge their existence and that something happened, but have no emotional attachment to them or even what they could have done. It doesn't feel right to have some sort of animosity towards a person that I didn't know, whose situation is complicated, whose relationship to you and others is complicated... really just is effectively a non-entity to me, thus resulting in having no desire to... "go after" them for anything. If what you say is true, that he's at least getting some genuine help, then good, I don't wish any ill-will on them, but this idea of also maintaining your distance is also a good thing for everyone involved.
And I think lastly... yeah, all of this? I think much like a good portion of people familiar with you, I had no idea what was going on. A lot of rumors were going around filling the void that was the dead air of not knowing. I never held any sort of anger or animosity at seeing you leaving; at worst, maybe frustration that I was unable to financially support you from afar with the comics. (I mean, if they're still up I legit forgot what the links were, so... whoops.) If anything, the emotions I felt the most were just... loss and regret, but mainly regret. I've been a big fan of your work, but honestly more a fan of who you were because of how much of a positive role model you portray yourself to be, and I lamented being so fearful to reach out to you beyond random gift-art pieces. In hindsight, obviously you wanted to keep things under wraps for the most part, but I was regretful that I wasn't able to offer my support personally - even if it was just moral support - for your decision and give you some well-wishes for whatever life you led in the future. Mind, don't treat that as some kind of thing for you to feel guilty about, like 'Oh I really should've been more transparent' or anything like that. Clearly based off of what you said, there was just A LOT OF CRAP goin' on and things kind'a just fell through. It was unfortunate, but nothing to feel so guilty about.
I truly am glad to hear that you're starting to do better for yourself, mate. I don't know what you have planned in terms of your art, even if what you have planned is to simply lurk and not do art at all, because I'll still be supportive of your decision. What matters most in this situation is that you do what you feel is right for your mental health, as well as your physical health, your finances, just... you in general. It matters less whether your producing sexy macro pics or whatever, it matters that you are okay. And at whatever level of 'okay' you are at right now, I'm glad that it's better than it has been, and I hope that it gets better from here.
I don't know if there's anything that I can do to be of assistance, but if it's just a matter of needing some morale support and good-to-mediocre vibes. I'm here.
Be safe and be well, mate. <3
Welcome back, chum. ^___________^
Welcome Back, DNA
I hope you are are doing better and not rushing back into things. You're going to have a lot of fans happy you're back, including myself. Welcome back!
Do hope things goes good and hope to work/Collab with you again ^^
Also look up Mondo Medicals, because that thing you said about cancer reminded me of that
But for what it was worth. I am glad to have you back posting. You e always done good work, and I hope you’ll find your groove back.
I’m late to the party since I saw your art posting very recently. But I hope things will turn up for you.
*macro and non macro hugs all round*
About what you wrote I don't have the entire picture but I think you made the right choice from what I am reading
I've always been a very casual furry. Not going to events, just faving art and getting commissions once in a while. I probably wouldn't mesh well if I ever tried to make a name for myself like you did.
But the important this is your back and there are people who genuinely care about you because of all the minor interactions we have had with you and the memories of your work. Take it slow. Ease yourself back in. If you have to be a little graded that's fine.
Welcome back old friend.
Welcome back!
Welcome back, DNA. And hope things improve better for you too
I look forward to seeing what you've got planned.
Welcome back, DNA!
Don't feel pressured to start producing things. Be here for you.
Glad you're okay, I'm sorry you went through so much crap that was grinding you down. I hope you're doing well still as we speak. Take as much time as you need taking care of yourself while slipping back here and your works. We'll still be here and love ya.
I am also looking forward in your new works as well along with "non-macro stuff" that you mention. This is exciting to hear from ya again.
Look at all the loves you're getting here, man!
Either way, I have heard of you all around, though looked at you from a distance since before my deviantArt days along with plenty of other musclefurs. I then found out abou the Voco situations from others. I wa scared and worried that you may never come back here or be freed. I am relieved that you managed to go back to being fine... though, from what I read here, I do not blame you in staying away from here.
I am also thankful that I can actually talk to you after decades of just noticing your works on occassion.
Welcome back
That said, welcome back!
Take care of yourself now and welcome home.
I hope we could like get a gofundme running—the amount of suffering you had to go through needs recompense.
Welcome back!
I just wanted to say your absence taught me that it's more important to care about individual people in the community and the kind of support that they need rather than just what they do on behalf in the community. If there's a way we can help besides money and stuff, please reach out.