TL;DR I'm transitioning, I'm cute as hell, I have a side job now, I'm struggling a lot with my art and finances but finally getting somewhere towards fixing it;

Hello all~ your regularly unscheduled Maney updates:

I'm coming out as trans in my physical spaces and it's been.. Uplifting and cautious. I'm doing a lot lately; trying new clothes, trying makeup. I'm really loving it. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my head. I start hormones later this month as well. I've been waiting for this for years now and I'm glad I'm finally making the leap :> I'm nervous about how people will react but so far it's been mostly supportive, except for some of my family.

I got hired by the local grocery store as a customer service rep part time and I've been training for that. It's nerve wracking presenting in public my first week on a new job but I know it's what I need to do for myself. It won't pay all the bills but I hope it takes some of the pressure off of art and my own mind. I'm making much less on the hour than with commissions, but I've been so burnt out on art I can barely create at all for months but an hour here or a monica head there. The debt I had accrued is unfortunately only growing and I really suck at it, I feel a bit ashamed to admit I've racked up 2.5k. Kitty's vet bill is almost paid off and the rest of that is just 4 months of groceries, bills, and girl stuff. I was clean of cc debt for years 😩 dammit

In regards to my work; it's my hope that before long I will be making more art than I have been, The problem isn't a lack of time but how many mental barriers I have with my art. Often times I open a commission and just feel anxious and my head hurts. I'm discovering what it actually is that's been bothering me with my work and it's not at all what I expected, and has very little to do with anything based on merit, but more my own thoughts on it, and the heart that goes into it. My work has felt empty to me for years because in a way it has been. I don't really dream of my own worlds often or get excited about breathing life into a client's character or world. I will be making changes to my approach to art, trying to put more of myself into it.

A lot of the anxiety comes from my current commission list, which has about 30 projects on it. I've decided against cancelling them, though after I'm finally through with these I will be only accepting a few at a time. Because of recent revelations in my understanding, I will also be trying to have more fun with the ideas even if it takes more effort. I would love for a good half of my artwork to be me sharing my personal worlds and stories with y'all, to finally actually show everyone what I feel like I'm all about ;u; instead of stifling it with worries over my income or how good the drawing is.

Thank you very much to all of those who have supported me and continue to support me, both emotionally and financially. I love yall, I wouldn’t be here without you. I pray in gratitude often that I have friends and fans that lift me up so much and are so understanding of the mental blocks I've been stumbling through. I hope in the coming years I can give back, if only by flourishing in my work, for all of those that have believed in me enough to sacrifice their time and earnings for my wellbeing

Thank you all-
- Maney