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UNIMPORTANT: A note onto Furry art.
3 years ago
Just a little journal about recent contemplating
Now this is gonna sound a little bit ridiculous because I’ve been thinking so much lately. Ever since I visited the UK I’ve started to question what I actually want and what is meaningful to me.
I’ve started considering what my actual goals to get out of things like commissions, visiting the UK for Confuzzled, and seeking a relationship. Why do I want to do these things? And will it be meaningful to me?
I started doing more art at conventions because I really enjoy the financial income. Although, I didn’t really start thinking about things more seriously until I won 1st in the dance competition at Scotiacon. I realized that I didn’t feel any excitement from winning first place and being the best of the best at that competition. That was really strange to me because I thought that was what I wanted whenever I started dancing.
The same thing started happening with art as well. I would do a commission and complete it, but I didn’t really feel any pride whenever the commissioner would be so excited, and that bothered me.
I really enjoy making other people feel good, so why would it not feel powerful to me to hear someone’s excitement on my art?
This isn’t a vent post, but I think I started to realize I really lack a bit of self confidence when it comes to my art? And nooooo it doesn't help with people say,”Ohhh well you’re way better than me” haha
Rather, I think it comes from comparing myself to others with more of a following. To be honest- I have a small following XD and I really do appreciate guys like Nico and O-ishi and Linker who comment on a lot of my posts.
I suppose I’d like to see more of a following to justify saying,” Look how far my art is reaching. Although with that, if I had 20,000 followers. Would it still be fulfilling?
It might be a little silly, but recently the furry fandom has made me contemplate what my actual goals are with art, acting, and public speaking.
From what I can tell, the drive for money is a motivator, but whenever I think of it as the end goal it ends up making me feel meaningless. I’m currently hoping to maybe present one of my convention panels as a presentation for high schools. The drive for that is the potential to make money off of it, but I think I need to focus on something more if I’m actually going to enjoy it.
I genuinely enjoy helping people, and I genuinely enjoy bringing people happiness, so the more I thought about it the more I realized that I am going to be happy by focusing on the effects that my art and public speaking have on people.
I’ve tried to change the outlook that I get whenever people will message me after condition and say,” I love this so much! It looks incredible!” And I’m trying to practice internalizing that because if I don’t, and this is just another part of the job.
Recently, for FWA I messaged Zillion Ross, an artist I look up to and am really inspired by, and asked to partner up for this year’s Floor Wars.
Almost immediately he said yes and was excited to pair up.
That absolutely thrilled me, and I was more excited about just partnering up with someone than even placing First or Second in two dance comps. I was genuinely amazed and it feels like I’ve really made it as a dancer so far. Not by the placements I got, but by who respects me enough to consider me their equal in a sport. I’ve never really had that before and it was super exciting.
Now, I just need get as excited about the art I make for others as I did making a team with Zillion. That’s what I’m still figuring out. It’s a process.
Now this is gonna sound a little bit ridiculous because I’ve been thinking so much lately. Ever since I visited the UK I’ve started to question what I actually want and what is meaningful to me.
I’ve started considering what my actual goals to get out of things like commissions, visiting the UK for Confuzzled, and seeking a relationship. Why do I want to do these things? And will it be meaningful to me?
I started doing more art at conventions because I really enjoy the financial income. Although, I didn’t really start thinking about things more seriously until I won 1st in the dance competition at Scotiacon. I realized that I didn’t feel any excitement from winning first place and being the best of the best at that competition. That was really strange to me because I thought that was what I wanted whenever I started dancing.
The same thing started happening with art as well. I would do a commission and complete it, but I didn’t really feel any pride whenever the commissioner would be so excited, and that bothered me.
I really enjoy making other people feel good, so why would it not feel powerful to me to hear someone’s excitement on my art?
This isn’t a vent post, but I think I started to realize I really lack a bit of self confidence when it comes to my art? And nooooo it doesn't help with people say,”Ohhh well you’re way better than me” haha
Rather, I think it comes from comparing myself to others with more of a following. To be honest- I have a small following XD and I really do appreciate guys like Nico and O-ishi and Linker who comment on a lot of my posts.
I suppose I’d like to see more of a following to justify saying,” Look how far my art is reaching. Although with that, if I had 20,000 followers. Would it still be fulfilling?
It might be a little silly, but recently the furry fandom has made me contemplate what my actual goals are with art, acting, and public speaking.
From what I can tell, the drive for money is a motivator, but whenever I think of it as the end goal it ends up making me feel meaningless. I’m currently hoping to maybe present one of my convention panels as a presentation for high schools. The drive for that is the potential to make money off of it, but I think I need to focus on something more if I’m actually going to enjoy it.
I genuinely enjoy helping people, and I genuinely enjoy bringing people happiness, so the more I thought about it the more I realized that I am going to be happy by focusing on the effects that my art and public speaking have on people.
I’ve tried to change the outlook that I get whenever people will message me after condition and say,” I love this so much! It looks incredible!” And I’m trying to practice internalizing that because if I don’t, and this is just another part of the job.
Recently, for FWA I messaged Zillion Ross, an artist I look up to and am really inspired by, and asked to partner up for this year’s Floor Wars.
Almost immediately he said yes and was excited to pair up.
That absolutely thrilled me, and I was more excited about just partnering up with someone than even placing First or Second in two dance comps. I was genuinely amazed and it feels like I’ve really made it as a dancer so far. Not by the placements I got, but by who respects me enough to consider me their equal in a sport. I’ve never really had that before and it was super exciting.
Now, I just need get as excited about the art I make for others as I did making a team with Zillion. That’s what I’m still figuring out. It’s a process.
I'm glad you're figuring out what makes you happy. That can be a tough process that many people don't do. I wish you luck!