Speaking as someone who is just getting into writing on FA myself, I immediately sympathize with all of this down to my very essence.

You can't simply force words onto a page and expect it to satisfy anyone, not the least bit yourself. You have to be able to express your own style at your own pace, otherwise you get lousy work and no one will be happy with the outcome.

This is why I personally refuse to do anything involving commissions, or even requests, at this current time. Not only does it add the pressure of wanting to do it in a reasonable amount of time, but you also have to attempt to create a product that is satisfactory for both you and your client.

It's a lot of pressure, and I'm sure if your clients feel the same way that I do, then I'm sure they'll be able to cut you some slack. No matter how long it takes, I'm sure whatever you put out will be great. Keep it up!

I know you're never supposed to compare yourself to others, but at the same time I don't have a clue how many of my writer friends can consistently pump out amazing commissions. I have a friend who hates vore and yet they wrote a very good vore story! How do they do that?!

It stings a lot because I am currently jobless still and I am gonna need a source of income soon. I really hoped commission writing would be the way to go but apparently not lol.

But thanks a lot for your comment! I hope I didn't scare you away from trying commission writing yourself! It's always worth a try once you feel comfortable enough with writing, at least!

Honestly, it's not that I don't think I'm able to take on commissions. I feel like that if I put my mind to it, I probably could do something satisfactory for both myself and the client.

It's more so that, and I don't know if this makes sense or not, I don't feel like I've earned the right to ask for money from people when I've only published, like, one story thus far with a couple more in the workshop.

Perhaps when I get a couple more pieces submitted and I feel more comfortable with my writing process, I can open up requests at least. This is really just a personal problem about my own self-worth at this point in time.

Regardless of my own station here, I can understand feeling overwhelmed in the face of someone who seems to have a lot more talent than you. And while I can't say that that feeling can entirely be ignored, what I can say that it that sensation can be used as a source of motivation. That's how I see it, to prove my own worth in the face of such skill.

<3
First of all: LOVE your idea of writing YCH stories. That way you could authentically write your own story, the way you are inspired to write it – and, based on a short synopsis, clients get at least a rough idea of what will be happening.

Much rather, I am writing to say: I can very much so relate. Forgive me for sharing my unsolicited thoughts here.
Writing is just as delicate of an art as the visual arts, or music. It needs inspiration, like you said.
How many synonyms are there to describe a certain thing? How many twists and turns can one imagine in a story – especially when the overall path / goal / end outcome is clearly determined?
Writing takes time, serious reflection, and constant revising and critical re-reading.
When I listen to all 104 symphonies by the great, famous classical composer Joseph Haydn, my assessment at the end of the experience will be: nice, pleasant, cool – but TOTALLY FORMULAIC! Variations of the exact same piece over, and over, and over again!
There is a fine line between a personal style, and industrial grade mass production – between looking at an artwork depicting a body with drawers coming out of it and a clock melting off a tree in the background and immediately saying: “Cool! That’s Dali’s style!” – and just doing the same formula over and over again, like those guys who do 15-minute caricature portraits of us at a theme park (one formula fitting all people).
The latter is easy. With regards to writing, it would be almost a copy-and-paste of paragraphs, switching out names and details for location/scene/props – and there we have it. Same story-arch, same kind of smaller highlights or pre-climaxes, and at the end Disney’s happily ever after. Speaking of: if Disney/Pixar shoves one more piece of formulaic garbage of some underdog overcoming all odds and becoming the savior of the day by remembering that family and friendship are the greatest values of all, I’m gonna barf!
But serious writers want to do better, want to present something new or unexpected. Even if the characters or the overall universe might already be determined: what’s our starting-point A, where we depart? What’s our point Z of our final arrival? What are those other smaller or larger climactic letter points in between? And what happens between all of those points? How do we make that journey compelling for our readers? Why would they even get invested in, or care about, our characters or their journey?
And once we have a few stories to our credit, and are possibly getting commissions (i.e. are starting to work under deadlines): how to find a balance between possibly borrowing the occasional formula from our earlier writings (no, not plagiarizing from other writers!), and coming up with enough new material to make it worth-while?
For me personally, the answers to some of these questions are constantly changing and evolving – depending on how crazy my life is at any given time.
Wishing you peace and lots of creative energy!
Blessings!!

DISCLAIMER: I have done very little story-writing myself (1 less completed story than @RayTheJay) and no visual artistic works that should ever see the light of day. Plus, I have never been commissioned before. Therefore, I am practically the least-qualified individual to be offering advice on this matter, so take this reply with the biggest grain of salt you can find.

I don't think you are bad at commissions; rather, I think it is more that the commission process is less friendly for writers than it is for visual artists. Both media require skill, but writing, in my opinion, takes something extra: voice.

Think about it this way: a talented visual artist can create a commissioned work that they do not care about. All that artist would need is some references and an understanding of what the commissioner wants. As long as the artist puts in the attention to detail, their lack of passion for the topic can be at least mostly concealed.

Now contrast that with a writer composing a commission when they are not motivated by the premise. Sure, the commissioner can tell the writer what they especially like and the details of the plotline, but if the artist cannot enter their client's frame of mind and absorb some of the enthusiasm, the creative juices can quickly run dry. The product (if it even gets to some stage of completion) is clearly forced, uninspired, and unsatisfactory.

But then how do I explain your friend who can somehow craft a quality vore story without an affinity for the subject matter? Is it some sort of "fake it 'til you make it" trick? Possibly. Perhaps it is going the extra mile to channel the commissioner's perspective. The best impersonators don't just mimic the vocal tones--they embody the character. That takes research and a healthy dose of acting chops.

The visual artists says, "You like this? I can depict this." The writer has to say, "You like this? Well, tell me why so I can comprehend what I need to capture." The visual art media are much more forgiving; if you fail to reflect the mentality of the being you are portraying, the expression might be off, or the pose doesn't quite evoke what the customer was envisioning. Easy fixes. The art of literature is punishing; without the spark of connection, the dialogue falls flat, the emotions are stale, and you find yourself having to pause and ask yourself, where was I supposed to go with this?

The added step of what I would call "charity" (in the rhetorical/philosophical sense) leads to the second problem, which RayTheJay pointed out--time constraints. Unless you go down the formulaic path that facharly noted and (rightfully) despises, organic writing is a lengthy, often iterative process of drafting, editing, and revising. You can occasionally "steal" a trope or two to move the platen roller along, but the bottom line is that a picture is not just worth a thousand words--it can also take only a fraction of the time to develop. Authenticity can rarely be rushed.

In conclusion, you are not "bad at commissions;" you are just acknowledging that acquiring the "voice" necessary for great commissions is challenging. The YCH commission model that you propose is certainly a potential solution worth exploring. As for suggestions to facilitate "voice-finding" regarding open commissions, I would recommend a combination of questions and roleplay. Be transparent with your struggles to tap into that voice, and your commissioner will almost surely be empathetic and willing to help.

For example, let's say you are commissioned to write about a fat character that is depressed due to their negative body-image, and you cannot fully grasp how to convey that in a realistic, original way. Maybe your own attraction to their body type gets in the way, or the mood that you are building keeps running into the same trite phrases. Maybe the whole concept altogether is a turn-off for you. You can start by confessing that you have encountered a writer's block, and then inquire about how the character's attitude affects (or should affect) the commissioner when they read the story. The commissioner could answer that the character's insecurity and vulnerability opens up opportunities for the juxtaposition of wholesome, uplifting scenes. To see that dynamic in action, you then could invite the commissioner to a structured RP, where you take turns playing the character in question. In aside comments, you can request elucidations on why the commissioner (as the character) gave such a response; the commissioner can provide feedback on whether your portrayal of the character hit a soft spot for them (or, alternatively, struck a wrong chord). By the end of the session, the two of you should have reached some common ground on the character, allowing for the the commissioned work-in-progress to proceed with a reaffirmed trust.

Of course, this method is not foolproof, and there may be incidents where, despite your best efforts, the commission prompt simply does not resonate with you. Let me assure you that this does not make you a bad writer. In fact, such honesty makes you a good writer. A bad writer would forego their standards and deliver a mediocre work that sells the commission prompt short.

I hope that you find my words of encouragement helpful. The stress of a job search is difficult enough to deal with, so coupling that with feelings of inadequacy over pending commissions is undoubtedly unhealthy. Chances are the writing that you are deleting is better than you perceive it to be. To you, it feels terrible because you know that your heart is not completely in it, but others may hardly be able to notice that fact. To my knowledge, self-directed anger has never been a catalyst for solid fiction writing--it's just too powerful of a distraction. So if you take anything from this post, be kind to yourself and write what makes you happy.

Holy moly I was not expecting a thesis for a response! The fact you managed to type a literal essay and somehow made it extremely coherent and easy to read despite filling my screen with text is mad impressive! Props to you, good sir.

You make an excellent point regarding writing commissions vs. drawing commissions. It's something I've thought for a while, but I've never figured out a way to properly express that point. I always feel like I'm asking people "what is your character like? Do they like this or that more? What are their hobbies?" etc, while with art those questions really aren't important. God, halfway through this one story, someone messaged me saying they updated their commission sheet and it just threw the entire story into disarray, since it contained a bunch of personality changes.

Inspiration strikes at the oddest times, too. I just wrote...jeeze, close to 5 or 6 thousand words yesterday alone, at the very minimum. Possibly more, I wasn't really counting, but I'm lowballing with 5 or 6k. It's frustrating that like, I have that capability to put out so many words, I just can't redirect that effort into writing things people actually enjoy. The "voice" you call it, I wish I was more flexible with mine so I can give what others want. I know I'm venting here a little, this is just something that's been going through my mind a bit lately.

The roleplay idea is certainly an interesting one. I do write better for friends whom I'm familiar with character-wise, and yes in the best I was the No Subject "hi do u rp" guy lol. I might need an example of what you're suggesting though. Would the client and myself be roleplaying the same character?

I'm sorry I wasn't able to touch up on all the points you've brought across, but I really can't understate how much I appreciate this comment. It does make me feel better about myself in general. Writing is hard, and I feel validated thanks to you and many other kind souls about this fact. Thanks again for your help <3

Great points. While I find it is natural that you want to please others with a "more flexible voice," we can only control our inspiration so much. After all, inspiration is the essence of creativity, so it requires a free-flowing mind to some degree. Broadening the range of your "voice" (You're starting to stretch the metaphor, Jason. Don't do it!), like anything, takes practice, as well as a bit of luck.

The roleplay exercise is a good form of practice. It takes those questions that you posed in your second paragraph ("What's your character like?," etc.) and shifts your view of it from the third-person to the first-person. You and the client would both roleplay the same character, but alternating--one session at a time. So resuming the example I started previously, the commissioner would play that subject character first. You could be another character in the story, or anyone that will serve as a strong foil for that subject character. Likewise, the scene can be from the story, or any design that the client thinks will help highlight the character. The RP would be perhaps slightly more dialogue-driven, but soliloquies can also be insightful (a la Shakespeare).

As the RP plays out, note how the commissioner is presenting the subject character. If you notice a pattern, pause the RP and have a sidebar chat about it ("I see that your character is often fidgety. Is that behavior purely spontaneous, or is it indicating that the character in those moments is self-conscious about their weight?"). If something in the RP catches you by surprise, probe those incidents, too ("I thought the character would have declined the invitation to go roller skating. Does peer pressure often outweigh their hesitance around physical activity? What if the invitation was for a different activity? How did the invitation being from this particular friend affect the character's calculus?"). Be sure to explore emotions, decision-making inclinations, and relationship dynamics for the character.

The cool thing about this exercise is that not only are you obtaining reads on the character: you are also picking up on what the commissioner likes to focus on. Maybe your client loves mentions of jiggles and wobbles. The scene they've set may suggest that humiliation is a big kink factor. If the scenario is part of the commission story, you have the chance to test out some plot twists.

Once you have a feel for the subject character, it is time for you to hop into the driver's seat for a spin! Don't worry about getting it wrong. You should not be stopping for confirmation; the commissioner should be the one pressing pause if they need to correct your direction. Hopefully, the client will provide some positive reinforcement if you enter a groove with the subject character. If need be, you and the customer can switch up roles (or scenes) a couple more times to give you as much in-depth knowledge about the subject character as possible.

How long this RP learning experience should take is up to you and your client. You could end up with most of the story outlined out; in that case, the RP gave you a rough script to build upon and polish up. Other times you may leave with just some guidance on how the character should be viewing themselves and the world at large. In either case, the objective is to narrow in on the "voice" of the subject character. As I mentioned before, though, this explorative RP is not a guarantee that you will discover motivation/inspiration for the commission. Moreover, this exercise takes some level of effort from you and the commissioner, and you often get out what the two of you put in.

I am glad that you have chosen to vent these frustrations. Your courage to share this burden has allowed for this group therapy session, and we are all stronger for it. Remember that, contrary to what you said, your effort does already go "into writing things that people actually enjoy." Wishing you happy writing!

Addendum: (It appears you have opened up this Pandora's Box of half-baked theoretical advice.)

It only recently occurred to me that a different wall that you may hit when trying to work on a commission is getting hung up on the commission prompt itself, rather than a particular character. This is a tricky situation, and I would need to know how you handle the commission idea out of the gates before I could offer some additional strategies. Ultimately, the tactical goals should probably be the same: get the commissioner to share more of their perspective, and interact with them so that you can gather some momentum to propel you into the commission. Taking a step back, I have observed that the commission becomes easier when you approach it more like a collaboration. You are still going to do all the eventual writing for the end product (i.e., the commission), but building the passion with the client at your side is a team effort that can pay considerable dividends.

I thought to myself, "If I was the commissioner, would I appreciate being this involved in the process? Would it feel like a chore?". I do not have a definitive answer for that. On one hand, it would be time-consuming, and it may feel tedious to essentially "sell" my commission vision to the writer I paid to author the story for me. On the other hand, I may appreciate the writer for giving me the chance to ensure that they deliver what I want. It would suck for both of us to have a first draft nearly completely miss the mark, forcing the writer to go back to the drawing board. If the meeting session goes really well, a brainstorm could generate a new story element that I (as the client) love and that we never would have thought of on our own. Personally, I think that the writer in me would make me excited by the request, as we would both be able to pick each other's brains. Granted, I consider myself far from a typical commissioner, but I think most could at least be persuaded to try it out.

From what I have seen, visual artists who excel at commissions often utilize similar tools. An exceptional artist that I want to commission a ref sheet from recommended that, on top of a written description and reference images for my character, I create a "moodboard" of my character for her. I took her advice, and the experience was eye-opening. Putting together the moodboard did more than just capture the aesthetic--I found myself uncovering details about my OC that I either took for granted or never thought of entirely. The exercise was enlightening and enjoyable, and the resulting collage left a solid impression on both of us, I think.

I swear, I'm going to end up turning this thread into a blog, if I'm not careful. Sorry for the unsolicited ramblings.

Bruh it's not that! I really want to respond to every point you made and have a good discussion with you, I'm just afraid I'm gonna miss something vital you said because my reading comprehension is not the best! I don't think responding to journal comments would do your paragraphs justice! D:

Do you have a telegram or discord I can reach you on so we can chat more there! I'd love to talk with you more! Just with smaller, more bitesized information chunks so my lil peabrain isn't overwhelmed so eaaily (you can send a Note if you dont want anyone else to see)

I concur with Choice_D to the highest limits of my ability, this is an excellently well-thought out comment that addresses many concerns I personally have with commissions/requests, on top of the points made in the additional statements down below in response. Honestly, while I still feel like that it's worth earning the right to ask to be paid for my work, after I finish one or two more projects I have in the back, I will probably open up a limited pool of requests to get a feel of things, with these words of advice stored neatly in the back of my mind.

I have never been much of an RP guy, personally, but attempting to get into a character's head and finding out how they tick is one of the premiere things I always aim for when it comes to writing. This is possibly why I'm not too afraid to tackle established characters from various media as well as people's OCs, because if I know how they function and how they would generally react when (X) event happens, then I feel very confident that I can portray said feelings in an effective and realistic manner. So, perhaps if I end up feeling stuck, and can pursue this idea and try to learn more about their character.

And while time constraints can be seen as a bad thing, it can also serve as an effective motivator at times, pushing you to sit your butt down and actually work on the project you are supposed to complete, especially with money on the line. As with many things, it best comes in moderation. It's best to put constant effort into any project you are supposed to be doing, without pushing yourself and rushing through a half-baked draft or taking so long that you end up ruining the motivation for you, your client, or both, until they inevitably demand a refund.

At the end of it all, you should only try to do whatever it is that makes you happy, and publishing a bad story for your client will not only make them feel unhappy with their apparent waste of money, but you will feel disappointed and unfulfilled. A lose-lose situation. So, in my opinion, the most important thing to remember is to take pride in your work, and make sure that the process, from beginning to end, is as pleasurable for you and your client as possible, as you yourself have said.