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Update: Where I've Been
3 years ago
Hello, everyone. I'm not sure how many folks are going to read this, but I first want to apologize for all of the dead air lately. My uploads have slowed rather considerably, at least the ones that aren't commissions. I drew that one Val pic a while back, but my last actual story upload was half a year ago, and the last one before that was another half-year back. I feel like I should probably explain what's been up a bit.
As of August of last year, I transferred to a larger university, and it's been a very difficult and taxing experience for me. All of the classes worked out well in the end, but it was rough enough for me to feel extremely burned out by the time the winter term ended. Now I'm in a depressive, easily-distracted funk that has been keeping me from being able to put work into anything. But honestly, it feels like there's also more to it than that.
I feel like I'm no longer satisfied with my own writing. I feel like I lack the general creativity that it takes to come up with ideas for stuff, and that anything I put effort into writing will just come out wrong. My art is extremely amateurish but could be improved through more practice, but I also feel like I lack the patience or confidence needed to come close to the level of my peers. All of this, combined with my non-existent sleep schedule, has made me feel... petrified?
That, as well as the fact that the two major things that I tend to put focus on with my work, vore and softcore scat stuff, are somewhat incompatible with how many people like one but not the other. I feel embarrassed and freeze up when wanting to commission anything of my characters from most people because of what I often use them for. I'm worried to even put effort into any possible passion projects anymore because I worry what people will feel about how toilet-centric they tend to be. I'm a weird person that kinda sticks out, even in this community, over stuff like that.
I don't really know what the point of me saying all of this is, apart from me wanting to get all of this off my chest. I don't want to leave the community or anything, but I just feel greatly dissatisfied with myself and want to get more content out there, but I'm just stuck. I'll at least continue attempting to power through and get more writing out there. I apologize if any of this comes off as melodramatic, I simply feel it's the only way I can vent all of my frustrations at once.
As of August of last year, I transferred to a larger university, and it's been a very difficult and taxing experience for me. All of the classes worked out well in the end, but it was rough enough for me to feel extremely burned out by the time the winter term ended. Now I'm in a depressive, easily-distracted funk that has been keeping me from being able to put work into anything. But honestly, it feels like there's also more to it than that.
I feel like I'm no longer satisfied with my own writing. I feel like I lack the general creativity that it takes to come up with ideas for stuff, and that anything I put effort into writing will just come out wrong. My art is extremely amateurish but could be improved through more practice, but I also feel like I lack the patience or confidence needed to come close to the level of my peers. All of this, combined with my non-existent sleep schedule, has made me feel... petrified?
That, as well as the fact that the two major things that I tend to put focus on with my work, vore and softcore scat stuff, are somewhat incompatible with how many people like one but not the other. I feel embarrassed and freeze up when wanting to commission anything of my characters from most people because of what I often use them for. I'm worried to even put effort into any possible passion projects anymore because I worry what people will feel about how toilet-centric they tend to be. I'm a weird person that kinda sticks out, even in this community, over stuff like that.
I don't really know what the point of me saying all of this is, apart from me wanting to get all of this off my chest. I don't want to leave the community or anything, but I just feel greatly dissatisfied with myself and want to get more content out there, but I'm just stuck. I'll at least continue attempting to power through and get more writing out there. I apologize if any of this comes off as melodramatic, I simply feel it's the only way I can vent all of my frustrations at once.
Hope you feel better, birb.
I'm glad you got through the fall semester I know that can be difficult for you, so please try to get as much rest as you possibly can.
As for the writing front, I would say that there are ways to combine the two kinks together, and as said earlier, I would not worry about what others would think. You write/draw what excites you, and I have a feeling that this is probably related to what happened at the new school and the stress resulting from it. I'm here if you need anything. 🙏🙏🫂
On the vore + scat insecurity, I'd say plenty of people like that combo. Sure, it's a bit niche—but it's more popular than one would expect. Draw/write for you, not others. And don't hold yourself to a standard set in relation to another person: just write a story. Then, edit said story.
Try out a small passion project first! A simple sketch or story. And have fun with it. You don't even need to share it. Again, make it for you.