A few months back, I lost someone very close and important to me. The nature of how things happened made it difficult to deal with for awhile and even then I had a lot of funeral arrangements to manage and people to call.
Overall it just took a heavy burden on me.

One of my loved ones was going through a rough time. I'd try to call them and give them advice, but each time I called, it always sounded like it got worse and it broke my heart every time.
The truth was near the final days, I had accepted giving up a lot of my current life to try and help them out. I was planning on giving up my job, my apartment, and lots of my hobbies. They meant so much to me I was planning on leaving everything behind and moving in with them to try and make things easier. I was actually slowly coming to be excited about it. Starting a new life. And I called them to let them know what I was planning. I never got a response from them and a few hours later I got the news what happened.

For many weeks I just didn't see the point in any of this. I was willing to give this all up and now its all I had left.
Things have gotten better but it still hurts and I don't know if it ever stops hurting really. They've impacted my life so much and influenced a lot of who I am. I know some parts of them still live on in me, but I also know we were different people and there is much left empty without them there to fill it anymore.

I'm actually still not entirely sure where I'm going with my art. Had some debate on changing my focuses but then also catch myself still having fun doing what I've been doing. But in the meantime, I figured I can still post what I've had laying around for a few months and finish up some projects I started awhile ago.