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Why the poor stay poor...
3 years ago
Okay, bit of a clickbait title. I wanted to talk about my journey from poor to middle class, and how there are some things that I just never considered, and why its sometimes outright impossible to get out of poverty if you don't already have the means and resources. Meanwhile, middle class can usually increase their wealth, even if slowly. Hear me out. I will be rather personal about some things here.
I started out in life as a poor country kid. I almost only wore hand-me-downs unless there was a special occasion. My family never had money for anything. Old cars, scabby house, food was always diluted with the cheapest ingredients one could find. My classmates in school went on vacations abroad, my dad took me camping in the woods. Same tent he got sometime back in the 70s, repaired and well maintained. During the summers I spent a lot of my time helping out at home and the farm. There were animals to be taken care of, crops to be harvested.
When I was 16 I moved into the "big city" to attend higher ed. There I discovered a whole new social life and cultural change. And I went from a rather conservative Christian "country girl" to a pagan gothic metal chick. I started to break hard with my family as we started to clash more and more. No longer welcome in my home, I spent my days and nights in school, with friends or on the streets. I did what I had to do to survive, including prostitution and drugs. Eventually I managed to find a cheap apartment in the ghetto part of town, but it was a hard life. I could never afford anything new. I always got stuff second hand. Didn't even have a car, I'd walk or ride public transport. There was never money for anything. Needing a new pair of glasses was an enormous financial blow I couldn't take, so I'd just repair the very scratched old ones with electric tape and steel wire. I could barely afford rent and food. I literally had to count the cents when shopping food. Every now and then - if I had been lucky - I could afford myself an evening at the local pool hall. Renting a table there cost like $2 per person.
That is how I lived most of my life until I got a proper steady job for the first time in 2015. See, employers don't like you if you don't have spotless papers, or if you live in the wrong neighbourhood. For the first time in my life I had a steady income, instead of working some hours here and some hours there on different companies. That's also why there's almost zero art of my characters prior to 2015. I could just never afford anything for myself.
A few laters I had worked up a decent savings account, something I've never had before either in my life. So I took that money and moved out of the ghetto, back to the countryside, but my own little place with a garden and some animals. I kept working hard while living small, and soon I could even afford to travel properly. While I had went abroad before on occasion to visit family, I could now travel more freely on my own. I met up with friends from the furry community, had the best time of my life. Moved together with 2 of my partners. I had no direct financial worries. Steady income, debts paid, more came in than went out every month. It was a freedom I had never ever felt before.
Then ofc 2020 hit with its pandemic, I lost my job, me and my partners really really struggled to get by.
Which brings me to the point of me writing this...
To be able to afford living with the new conditions imposed on us by the world, we had to run things more efficiently. And this is when it really started to dawn on me of how the big differences are between poor and middle class. Nothing bad about my little darlings, but they were brought up middle class so they were never conditioned the way I was.
The first moment this happened was when fuel prices rose really high and ended up at around $2.50 per litre ($9.45 a gallon). We could no longer afford driving 2 cars to work. So one of my mates suggested that maybe I could get a scooter since I mostly drive locally, while my partners would take the car to work together since they work on the other side of town. I kinda laughed at that, because how the fuck would we be able to afford a scooter?! To which he presented a used one that was for sale cheap. With the comparison to car in fuel efficiency and insurances, that scooter would actually have paid for itself within 3-4 months. That just stunned me. Like... it had not even occured to me that the money to buy a scooter would be an investment. I had always considered in "just another expense" in my mind. And now, just imagine if we didn't have the income to support such an investment in the first place? I was lucky enough to have that now, and thanks to us being able to make that initial investment, we saved money in the long term and half a year later we've got a net plus on the deal. Especially as scooters are really easy to maintain and I with my rudimentary repair skills can actually do it on my own fairly easily.
Another thing I have thought a lot about is that before, I was never able to take any risks and hop on opportunities that came up. I was always in the very edge of make it or break it. I could never consider what I want to do or how to get there, I was busy just surviving. I had no support to go to uni, no resources, no one to take the burden off of my shoulders. I had to work work work to keep a roof over my head and food in my belly. And now when society is slowly returning to some sort of normality, I'm now back in school. For the first time in my life I actually have the opportunity to do something for myself, to go where I want to go, instead of desperately clawing at everything just to try and make it one more month.
It's such a strange and alienating feeling to me. To not have to work my ass off constantly. That I can actually sit down and be like "this is what I want to do." Is this what everyone else was having all the time? Safety, a supportive family? No threat of homelessness the moment you call in sick to work? Is this why you can travel abroad and lounge on beaches? This is such a luxury to me. A luxury I never ever had until now. Honestly, it's hard to wrap my head around.
And everything is tied together. I can afford a new bed so that I don't have to sleep on a mattress on the floor. That makes me sleep better so that I feel better and more rested. Makes it easier to start the day out with a better mood. Easier to relax at night. I can afford clothes that I think look good, which makes me feel better and boosts my confidence. I can afford better food that makes me healthier.
And here's a very important thing: I can afford higher quality stuff. So lets say that instead of buying a pair of shoes for $20 that lasts a few months, I can now buy a pair for $150 that lasts me years. That's also a fucking investment that I earn profit on in the long run. Because its cheaper if I can afford the initial high cost to get something that lasts me years, instead of constantly paying a smaller sum. And this way of thinking came natural to one of my mates, while for me, even considering something that cost money was preposterous. Because my entire life I was never able to invest anything. I was just conditioned to always always keep the costs to a minimum and never ever spend anything on myself that I didn't absolutely direly need.
I was conditioned.
So that even when I had the money, I didn't even think of how I could use it best until someone pointed it out for me. I'd just keep it packed away for emergencies.
And this is why the poor stay poor.
We can't just "get an education." We have to bring in money to feed a family, and studying ain't fucking free! Nor is living while we study!
We're stuck in low paying jobs, living paycheck to paycheck with nothing to spare.
So we can never invest and make that money grow, because we can never afford the initial higher cost.
We can't just jump on a random opportunity without security, because we have rent to pay.
When my friends in uni "had no money left", that actually meant that they could still pay for rent and bills and everything, but couldn't afford a $700 night out at the club. When I had no money left, it meant that I couldn't even afford a loaf of bread from the grocery store.
Some people may have the luck to know someone and have the right conditions to break out of this, and that's great, but far from us do. So I consider myself very very lucky that I am in the position I am today. Should I lose my job today, it's no longer a Sword of Democles over our heads that will make or break our living. It will be tight sure, but doable. And that freedom, to have that freedom, is absolutely mindblowing and insane. But I'm very very happy that I do.
I started out in life as a poor country kid. I almost only wore hand-me-downs unless there was a special occasion. My family never had money for anything. Old cars, scabby house, food was always diluted with the cheapest ingredients one could find. My classmates in school went on vacations abroad, my dad took me camping in the woods. Same tent he got sometime back in the 70s, repaired and well maintained. During the summers I spent a lot of my time helping out at home and the farm. There were animals to be taken care of, crops to be harvested.
When I was 16 I moved into the "big city" to attend higher ed. There I discovered a whole new social life and cultural change. And I went from a rather conservative Christian "country girl" to a pagan gothic metal chick. I started to break hard with my family as we started to clash more and more. No longer welcome in my home, I spent my days and nights in school, with friends or on the streets. I did what I had to do to survive, including prostitution and drugs. Eventually I managed to find a cheap apartment in the ghetto part of town, but it was a hard life. I could never afford anything new. I always got stuff second hand. Didn't even have a car, I'd walk or ride public transport. There was never money for anything. Needing a new pair of glasses was an enormous financial blow I couldn't take, so I'd just repair the very scratched old ones with electric tape and steel wire. I could barely afford rent and food. I literally had to count the cents when shopping food. Every now and then - if I had been lucky - I could afford myself an evening at the local pool hall. Renting a table there cost like $2 per person.
That is how I lived most of my life until I got a proper steady job for the first time in 2015. See, employers don't like you if you don't have spotless papers, or if you live in the wrong neighbourhood. For the first time in my life I had a steady income, instead of working some hours here and some hours there on different companies. That's also why there's almost zero art of my characters prior to 2015. I could just never afford anything for myself.
A few laters I had worked up a decent savings account, something I've never had before either in my life. So I took that money and moved out of the ghetto, back to the countryside, but my own little place with a garden and some animals. I kept working hard while living small, and soon I could even afford to travel properly. While I had went abroad before on occasion to visit family, I could now travel more freely on my own. I met up with friends from the furry community, had the best time of my life. Moved together with 2 of my partners. I had no direct financial worries. Steady income, debts paid, more came in than went out every month. It was a freedom I had never ever felt before.
Then ofc 2020 hit with its pandemic, I lost my job, me and my partners really really struggled to get by.
Which brings me to the point of me writing this...
To be able to afford living with the new conditions imposed on us by the world, we had to run things more efficiently. And this is when it really started to dawn on me of how the big differences are between poor and middle class. Nothing bad about my little darlings, but they were brought up middle class so they were never conditioned the way I was.
The first moment this happened was when fuel prices rose really high and ended up at around $2.50 per litre ($9.45 a gallon). We could no longer afford driving 2 cars to work. So one of my mates suggested that maybe I could get a scooter since I mostly drive locally, while my partners would take the car to work together since they work on the other side of town. I kinda laughed at that, because how the fuck would we be able to afford a scooter?! To which he presented a used one that was for sale cheap. With the comparison to car in fuel efficiency and insurances, that scooter would actually have paid for itself within 3-4 months. That just stunned me. Like... it had not even occured to me that the money to buy a scooter would be an investment. I had always considered in "just another expense" in my mind. And now, just imagine if we didn't have the income to support such an investment in the first place? I was lucky enough to have that now, and thanks to us being able to make that initial investment, we saved money in the long term and half a year later we've got a net plus on the deal. Especially as scooters are really easy to maintain and I with my rudimentary repair skills can actually do it on my own fairly easily.
Another thing I have thought a lot about is that before, I was never able to take any risks and hop on opportunities that came up. I was always in the very edge of make it or break it. I could never consider what I want to do or how to get there, I was busy just surviving. I had no support to go to uni, no resources, no one to take the burden off of my shoulders. I had to work work work to keep a roof over my head and food in my belly. And now when society is slowly returning to some sort of normality, I'm now back in school. For the first time in my life I actually have the opportunity to do something for myself, to go where I want to go, instead of desperately clawing at everything just to try and make it one more month.
It's such a strange and alienating feeling to me. To not have to work my ass off constantly. That I can actually sit down and be like "this is what I want to do." Is this what everyone else was having all the time? Safety, a supportive family? No threat of homelessness the moment you call in sick to work? Is this why you can travel abroad and lounge on beaches? This is such a luxury to me. A luxury I never ever had until now. Honestly, it's hard to wrap my head around.
And everything is tied together. I can afford a new bed so that I don't have to sleep on a mattress on the floor. That makes me sleep better so that I feel better and more rested. Makes it easier to start the day out with a better mood. Easier to relax at night. I can afford clothes that I think look good, which makes me feel better and boosts my confidence. I can afford better food that makes me healthier.
And here's a very important thing: I can afford higher quality stuff. So lets say that instead of buying a pair of shoes for $20 that lasts a few months, I can now buy a pair for $150 that lasts me years. That's also a fucking investment that I earn profit on in the long run. Because its cheaper if I can afford the initial high cost to get something that lasts me years, instead of constantly paying a smaller sum. And this way of thinking came natural to one of my mates, while for me, even considering something that cost money was preposterous. Because my entire life I was never able to invest anything. I was just conditioned to always always keep the costs to a minimum and never ever spend anything on myself that I didn't absolutely direly need.
I was conditioned.
So that even when I had the money, I didn't even think of how I could use it best until someone pointed it out for me. I'd just keep it packed away for emergencies.
And this is why the poor stay poor.
We can't just "get an education." We have to bring in money to feed a family, and studying ain't fucking free! Nor is living while we study!
We're stuck in low paying jobs, living paycheck to paycheck with nothing to spare.
So we can never invest and make that money grow, because we can never afford the initial higher cost.
We can't just jump on a random opportunity without security, because we have rent to pay.
When my friends in uni "had no money left", that actually meant that they could still pay for rent and bills and everything, but couldn't afford a $700 night out at the club. When I had no money left, it meant that I couldn't even afford a loaf of bread from the grocery store.
Some people may have the luck to know someone and have the right conditions to break out of this, and that's great, but far from us do. So I consider myself very very lucky that I am in the position I am today. Should I lose my job today, it's no longer a Sword of Democles over our heads that will make or break our living. It will be tight sure, but doable. And that freedom, to have that freedom, is absolutely mindblowing and insane. But I'm very very happy that I do.
I'm fortunate to have visited countries like China (when I lived there between 1997-2013), Tanzania (2011), Cambodia (2012), Laos (2018), Myanmar (2018) and Sri Lanka (2019) to name a few. Whenever I encounter poverty in these places, I can't help but remember my schooling days where I studied economics, and learnt that the lack of opportunities, inaccessibility of education, the constant need to survive day-by-day, are just the many reasons one couldn't break from the poverty cycle. What's the point of investing in the future when you only make enough to survive for the next 24 hours?
Your story does (to a certain extent) proves that money does buy happiness, and I'm super happy to know that you're in a much better place than before.
Thanks for sharing; this is a must-read for those trying to learn what the poverty cycle really is and how difficult (and often times impossible) to break out of.
And plenty of books have been written on it.
But like.. sorry to be that annoying politics derg, but the thinking 'why people are poor' have been done plenty of times. Does humanity remember that for half a century big chunk of humanity were at all times half an hour away from death in nuclear fire because one side had very high ideas on why people are poor? Most of the time I feel like not.
By the end it is noted "we can never invest", and what if we could. Where does that magical income come from? The.. soviet side would say 'directly from the pockets of the poorest among us'. And what if the lesson to invest was learned. Soviet side would say - "You, an individual person may have climbed out of poverty, but if it means investing, at the other side of investment someone else fell deeper into debt."
And ..they also lost the cold war, to those whose best analysis of systemic issues more often than not is "pull yourself by your bootstraps".
Lets not assume in the slightest that issue of poverty is in any way simple, when the question of poverty was very much at the center of everything that has happened in history, more so in past 200 years.
That said, a lot of people with wealth has no idea how it is to live without it, and therefore don't understand why things could (and maybe should) be done differently. Marie Antoinette would be a perfect albeit extreme example. "Let them eat cake." But that mindset, even if less extreme, still persists today.
I don't mind living a simple life, I just don't wanna live in a constant existential crisis.
which I never understood as a kid, but I totally get it now as a grown up...
Just as you pointed out, being able to spend more in quality stuff in the present does indeed make you spend less in the long run. Or being able to buy in bulk which is usually cheaper than paying per item.
Then when they inteview some of the ultra-rich celebrities who are just so detached from reality they often come up with cringy replies like "I can't stand the poor... why can't they just start saving money or get a better job? It's almost as if they want to stay poor, blah blah..."
THAT. IS. EXACTLY. THE. POINT.
When buying groceries and paying rent alone consumes 100% of your income, how can one start saving money? Or invest money? Etc... Thus the cycle of poverty.
[don't get me started on some of the huge fiscal aids that can be exploited only by rich people and similar stuff 😅]
My mother's family was also poor, and Mom had a sister even, so they couldn't even buy a slice of watermelon during summertime. They got their living from tending to rabbits, grandma from cleaning and gramdpa from shoveling coal.
My mom had good grades in school, and managed to get job at one of the local kindergarten and did focused higher education (Diploma) and became the side CEO of it. Father was working at the train company (electrician) I work now (office worker under several bosses) and from three wages we managed to buy a new home in the 90's and we could afford latter a new home for myself.
But despite the fact, that I own my own home, have smartphones, Internet, smart television and such...
I was conditioned to spend low and save money as well. I have savings, that assures my survival too, if I'd loose my job. I could buy a car, if I'd wanted to, but the train gets me anywhere for free (job perk), and I can buy any kind of food, or travel around. But I will never forget from where we started out, and how hard my parents had to work, to move ahead from being dirt-poor to a middle class family. Where other want to buy Iphones (whatever the reasons), I am super okay with owning Android phones. I have an original 'brick' Nintendo Gameboy from my grandparents, and there is no money in the world I will part from it. It's was sort of my first ever electronic entertainment system. It's a reminder to me of owning something of quality, and a memento of my late grandparents.
I am okay, and financially stable, and have a job...But as the recent inflation hit, I stopped buying expensive-luxury stuff, like peanut butter which now has the x2,5 multiplier on it's original price. I only need gas for my lawnmower. I stopped living high, and keep my savings, until the world gets back to a relatively normal economy price-wise.
I was conditioned too, both by my loving parents, and by Life.
I feel your case. Glad you could make it!
Also, I have a few funny stories. Let me share a short one. Got 50 Sek from grandma and went to the store to buy some gummy drops under 10 Sek and got back 2 pieces of 20 Kronor bills and I was thinking that I was scammed with toy money: It had friggin' Nils Holgersson riding on his goose-friend on it! Grandma said it's true money! Very awesome! I wish Hungarian Forint would have Hun cartoon characters (Frakk the vizsla dog, Vuk the fox, Grabovszky the 007 mouse) on one side, even if life like as a reference! Would be very fun and awesome. Still own a 20 Kronor bill and show it to my guests all the time! Everyone likes it!
I'm glad you liked the food ^_^ Some Swedish food is great, other not so much so I eat a lot of German, English, Irish and American on a daily basis instead. Myself live a little bit north of Stockholm.
Hahah! That said, its not so much about cartoon characters, as the author was a big part of Swedish literal culture.
I am both disgusted and interested in Surströmming, but mainly I am too scared to try it out. My main OC's (D&D Black Dragoness) cannon and main diet is white meat/fish and red meat (pickled in a mildly acidic swamp pool for about a week or three) if it dares to enter Her swamp anyways. She'd love to eat many cans of some Surströmming for sure, and wouldn't even flinch about it!
Hahah, I can't stand surströmming x'D It's not getting inside my house! And cool, my main sona is also mainly a fish eater, as my profile banner shows ^_^