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Oh gawd, the Rob Zombie Munsters movie is terribad. >.<
3 years ago
General
It is Halloween season, one of my favorite times of the year. If I'm watching any TV or movies, I want it to only be spooky and cooky and altogether ooky stuff!
I had high hopes as a fan of Rob Zombie's actual horror movies...
Those hopes were quite expertly dashed.
Munsters was not worth watching... I couldn't even finish it.
I grew up on re-runs of Munsters and Adams family and they were one of the main reasons I liked the whole goth lifestyle.
About the only person that did a good job in it was the guy that played Grandpa, so major props to him.
They didn't even try to have Herman speak in a proper deeper voice, he sounded like a soy-boy hipster from west Hollywood, his voice even cracked multiple times and it would cause me to physically cringe. An 8-foot-tall guy should not sound like a 5-foot-tall manlet.
I know he was going for campy, but it was not natural campy... It was... What I could only describe as "cringe" and "phoned in".
The worst part is... Most of the jokes were flat, and I don't mean deadpan... I mean they were just plain bad... And not "funny" bad... Just BAD. A lot of the delivery was just, off.
After making it about halfway through, I had to watch some old original Munsters episodes from my DVD collection to make sure I wasn't judging the movie through "modern sensibility glasses". And no I wasn't... The 60s show is actually funny and charming and a crap ton better than what Zombie did, even by today's standards.
Hell, it might have been funnier if it was in black and white, had a laugh track and the actors had to wait for the chuckles to die down before going on to their next lines, or if Rob allowed some improv like the original show.
It is easily the worst movie Rob Zombie has ever made. He CANNOT do comedy.
I think it's time he went back to making Heavy Metal music.
I had high hopes as a fan of Rob Zombie's actual horror movies...
Those hopes were quite expertly dashed.
Munsters was not worth watching... I couldn't even finish it.
I grew up on re-runs of Munsters and Adams family and they were one of the main reasons I liked the whole goth lifestyle.
About the only person that did a good job in it was the guy that played Grandpa, so major props to him.
They didn't even try to have Herman speak in a proper deeper voice, he sounded like a soy-boy hipster from west Hollywood, his voice even cracked multiple times and it would cause me to physically cringe. An 8-foot-tall guy should not sound like a 5-foot-tall manlet.
I know he was going for campy, but it was not natural campy... It was... What I could only describe as "cringe" and "phoned in".
The worst part is... Most of the jokes were flat, and I don't mean deadpan... I mean they were just plain bad... And not "funny" bad... Just BAD. A lot of the delivery was just, off.
After making it about halfway through, I had to watch some old original Munsters episodes from my DVD collection to make sure I wasn't judging the movie through "modern sensibility glasses". And no I wasn't... The 60s show is actually funny and charming and a crap ton better than what Zombie did, even by today's standards.
Hell, it might have been funnier if it was in black and white, had a laugh track and the actors had to wait for the chuckles to die down before going on to their next lines, or if Rob allowed some improv like the original show.
It is easily the worst movie Rob Zombie has ever made. He CANNOT do comedy.
I think it's time he went back to making Heavy Metal music.
He may understand horror aesthetics, but he doesn't know how a horror story works.
I watched the first couple of movies he made and they were about a group of unlikable people being tortured and killed by another group of unlikable people for no reason other than an excuse for the director to show off disgusting imagery. There was not a character the viewer could root for, there was not much of a plot other than "these guys are maniacs and kill people". I had to drag myself to watch the first movie full because everything was so predictable I was not even curious about it. I could tell the end after watching for 15 minutes. I could not finish the second one. It was more or the same, a gang of despicable sub-humans goes around tormenting random (slightly less unlikable) people in a universe where apparently soap and shampoo has not been invented.
I didn't watch the rest of his movies, but I heard they all have the same basic problem, Rob Zombie needs to be told the difference between "gritty realism" and "every character is trash and every line of dialogue is full of curse words".
I don't know who thought it was a good idea to give him the direction of a family-friendly 1960s sitcom. I guess it's because he is into all kinds of cartoony horror. However. horror imagery works in a music video because they only need to show on the screen to the rhythm of the song, you don't need a story or narrative of any kind there, just randomly flash skulls, bats, walking rotten corpses, witches in lingerie and you got a hit. Making a movie is a totally different thing. Movies are not music videos, you can be good at one and suck at the other.
I would absolutely love it if Rob Zombie went back to music... I think a lot of people would agree with me on that... I drive a lot more than I watch movies and his music is great for driving.
For the Munsters, about the only thing I can give him some good credit for was the set to design and use of detailed physical sets... But with the terrible acting and writing, I think a set made entirely of spray-painted foam pool noodles would have worked better because the overly detailed sets and backgrounds were more distracting than the bad line delivery.
( x (oo) x )