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lol hi
3 years ago
General
^_^ long time no seeee.
so, i was really enjoying buzzly, but then it crashed and burned.
it kind of disillusioned me in a way. i was really fucking bummed out.
i stuck to twitter and tumblr, and stuck to fandom art for a while...
well, anyway, i wanna come back here.
god, i sure had a lot going on?! in around 2019, idk what happened,
but my ideology changed from "generally ambivalent" to "hardcore anti" when it comes to Content.
so furaffinity became very uncomfortable to me. there's a lot of weird fucking Content here.
it was a bad place for me mentally...
i started to fear that i was secretly a Bad Person for not being as "anti" as i pretended to be.
very weird. very terminally online.
(for the record, my current standing is; a lot of shit squicks me out, but i don't believe that making problematic stuff = condoning it.
i still don't like pedo shit or incest shit. but i'm going back to my healthier mindset where i just,
accept that a lot of people do a lot of weird shit. NELKNDFGD. not a "proshipper" and not an "antishipper".
because i still think proshippers are annoying as hell LOL
if you don't know what im talking about... it rly doesnt matter.)
so now that i'm in a healthier mindset, furaffinity isn't so upsetting anymore.
and i'm kind of getting bored of drawing fanart. i probably will still draw a lot of it,
but i miss furriessss.
ive been going to therapy and getting medication which is Nice.
i've been experimenting with my gender presentation!?! and leaning more into butch shit.
getting a weird amount of gender euphoria from thinking about getting top surgery.
like a *lot* of gender euphoria.
depending on how things go, i'd like to start fundraising for top surgery enflkng. i'd do commissions.
im feeling good. it feels like im coming back to someone i used to be, lol.
thank you to everyone who stuck around-
and double thank you to people who decided to watch me even while i was inactive!
that means a lot. i'm glad my art appeals to you guys. ^_^
i love you. i hope the new year goes well.
so, i was really enjoying buzzly, but then it crashed and burned.
it kind of disillusioned me in a way. i was really fucking bummed out.
i stuck to twitter and tumblr, and stuck to fandom art for a while...
well, anyway, i wanna come back here.
god, i sure had a lot going on?! in around 2019, idk what happened,
but my ideology changed from "generally ambivalent" to "hardcore anti" when it comes to Content.
so furaffinity became very uncomfortable to me. there's a lot of weird fucking Content here.
it was a bad place for me mentally...
i started to fear that i was secretly a Bad Person for not being as "anti" as i pretended to be.
very weird. very terminally online.
(for the record, my current standing is; a lot of shit squicks me out, but i don't believe that making problematic stuff = condoning it.
i still don't like pedo shit or incest shit. but i'm going back to my healthier mindset where i just,
accept that a lot of people do a lot of weird shit. NELKNDFGD. not a "proshipper" and not an "antishipper".
because i still think proshippers are annoying as hell LOL
if you don't know what im talking about... it rly doesnt matter.)
so now that i'm in a healthier mindset, furaffinity isn't so upsetting anymore.
and i'm kind of getting bored of drawing fanart. i probably will still draw a lot of it,
but i miss furriessss.
ive been going to therapy and getting medication which is Nice.
i've been experimenting with my gender presentation!?! and leaning more into butch shit.
getting a weird amount of gender euphoria from thinking about getting top surgery.
like a *lot* of gender euphoria.
depending on how things go, i'd like to start fundraising for top surgery enflkng. i'd do commissions.
im feeling good. it feels like im coming back to someone i used to be, lol.
thank you to everyone who stuck around-
and double thank you to people who decided to watch me even while i was inactive!
that means a lot. i'm glad my art appeals to you guys. ^_^
i love you. i hope the new year goes well.
But honestly I agree with you. I do think people should be able to explore what they want in fiction (just like.. the most you can do is do your research into topics to fix common misconceptions and all that, but a lot of people just.. dont do that) but the entire drama surrounding it is just.. drama for the sake of drama? Its the most extreme ends that are the loudest, but the way people will write angry paragraph after paragraph on how you're just 'being a puritan' if you say you think drawing a child lewdly is gross, or on the other end of the stick, others will say you're genuinely a monster if you like an evil character or you like something with dark themes. I think its just kinda lose/lose situation regardless.
Im happy you found something that helps you with gender euphoria though! Sometimes it can be difficult to find something that truly makes you happy like that, so i hope if you'll be able to get it eventually!
(Omg that was a lot of words, i didnt mean to write so much haha)
also youre so right!! it's such a frustrating example of people not allowing for nuance... there is nothing more embarrassing to me than seeing people loudly insist that "puriteens are enforcing catholic anti-lgbt rhetoric because they're CENSORING my ART" when you're talking about. ao3 moderation. like ... come on man what are we even doing here....... i hope it becomes less popular to engage in this debate bc it's nonsense on both sides LMFAO and generally unhealthy. it's kind of funny because i *feel like* some of buzzly's mess was specifically because of this kind of stuff? trying to figure out what content to allow without being accused of supporting illegal activities. lose/lose is right LMFAO
oh but thank you for your words.. i always like talking to people!!
I hope you have a happy new year